The Sealmaster of Konoha
by FaerieLight
Summary: Two years after the Fourth Shinobi War, Naruto discovers a seal on his body - a seal guarding a secret that will stagger Naruto's world. As a certain Uchiha battles his dark past and uncertain future, an old enemy returns to challenge Konoha, threatening the bonds that Naruto has sworn to protect. The poor blonde shinobi just can't catch a break. Eventual femNaru.
1. The Other Seal

**Hi! This is my first Naruto fanfic! I will try to be as realistic and true to character as possible, though I may have made Naruto a little smarter. Potential spoilers up to chapter 609.**

**Notes: (1.) This story takes place two years after the Fourth Shinobi War. (2.) I like Sakura. I really do! However Sasuke, sad to say, does not have a high opinion of her in this fic (or, I believe, in the manga). Therefore, please don't be upset by the teeny tiny amount of Sakura bashing below. She'll have her redemption later. (3.) I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I profiting by this fanfic in any way, except for my own enjoyment ^_^**

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The Other Seal

Wind whistled through the trees as a young shinobi darted from limb to limb, leaping such impossibly long distances that it felt as though he were flying. He whooped as the ground blurred beneath him. Nothing could compare to this speed. It was exhilarating! A patch of sunlight briefly illuminated the shockingly bright orange of his attire - a downright dangerous choice of clothing for a normal shinobi. But that was just it. He was not a normal shinobi. He wore orange to be seen, to be acknowledged by the world. Ribbed for years by his friends for his loudness and general clumsiness, he had finally proven his worth, and the world had seen him. The world had acknowledged him. They called him by name, and they called him a hero.

A hero.

That was him.

That was the new Uzumaki Naruto!

Naruto closed his eyes as he reveled in the wind whipping past his cheeks. The fragrant smell of the trees of his homeland assailed his senses, and the anticipation of arriving in Konoha within the hour was enough to have him grinning. Oh, and he knew just what to do the moment he passed through the gates...a visit to Ichiraku's for a steaming bowl of ram-

SMACK!

Naruto crashed solidly into a thick tree limb, and that is how the hero of the shinobi world plummeted to the earth, landing flat on his face in an undignified heap.

Moments later, silent footsteps moved toward him, and a dark-haired shinobi glared at his companion. "Che, baka. Same as ever."

Naruto opened his eyes to see a disdainful sneer spread across the face of his worst enemy - or his best friend - or his eternal rival - or - _Oh, who cares what we are! _"Sasuke," he grimaced in pain, "don't be such an asswipe."

"Better than being a baka dobe," replied Uchiha Sasuke, crossing his arms.

"Damn! That really hurt!" Naruto held his head in his hands, waiting for the stinging pain to pass. _Kurama, you damn fuzzball! _he yelled at the demon fox who resided inside him. _Why didn't you warn me?!_

**_It's your own fault for not paying attention, _**the Kyuubi said, flashing his teeth in a animalistic grin. Just because they were partners now didn't mean he had to bail his vessel out of everything, especially when the boy was so oblivious.

"You were thinking about ramen, weren't you," said his teammate with an exasperated sigh. "Figures. Once a dobe, always a dobe. And you're supposed to be team captain." Sasuke shook his head uncomprehendingly.

Of course, there was a very good reason that Naruto was the captain of their two-man squad. Naruto was the hero of the Fourth Shinobi War, and Sasuke was a traitor. Ex-traitor, if there was such a thing. After all, it was Sasuke who had turned the tide of the war, breaking Uchiha Madara's control over the Kyuubi and mortally wounding his ancestor. It was Sasuke that freed up Naruto to quell the Juubi. By all rights, he should be recognized as a hero alongside Naruto. Still...no one was able to forget that Sasuke had once betrayed and threatened to destroy Konoha, and he _had_ killed Danzo. That was arguably the strongest case against his return to the village, though his alliance with the snake bastard was high on the list as well.

It was Naruto who convinced the council to rescind the order for Sasuke's execution. The truth behind the massacre of the Uchiha clan was revealed, to the shock of every council member but two.

_I'm not asking you to believe that everything Sasuke did was justified. It sure as hell wasn't! And I'm going to beat the bastard up for leaving us! What I want you to consider is that it was Konoha who betrayed Sasuke first. If I were in his position, if any of us were - well, I really can't blame him._

Naruto had argued that Sasuke had proven his loyalty when he saved Naruto's life, thus saving the shinobi world. He had told Naruto that he wouldn't seek revenge, and his word was good enough for the blonde. The council reluctantly yielded under his fierce, blue-eyed persuasion, deciding that it was time to break the cycle of hatred that had so long been an undercurrent of their hidden village.

The hardest one to convince was Sasuke himself. While he no longer sought to destroy Konoha, that didn't mean he wanted to live there again, picking up the pieces of his life as though he'd never left. It took a lot of shouting on Naruto's part and scornful silence on Sasuke's for Naruto to make the former avenger admit that he didn't have plans or a place to go. With his revenge either completed or forsaken, Sasuke was empty of dreams or desires. Naruto could just see him wallowing in a whirlpool of angst and suppressed hatred, slowly being driven mad, and that was not acceptable to the blonde. No, what Sasuke needed was a purpose, a new goal to strive for, and Naruto had the perfect one in mind. With the same doggedness and determination that defined him, Naruto practically dragged his old friend back home.

Naruto was soon promoted to jounin, and after Sasuke had completed the terms of his probation - weekly "sessions" with Ibiki, a year of D-ranked missions, and minimal access to his chakra - they had formed a two-man team. Sasuke could now activate the first level of his Sharingan, but the chakra controls that looked like large, black bracelets on his wrists prevented him from activating the Mangekyo. Not that he ever needed it; he was deadly enough even without the Sharingan.

The stipulation for Sasuke's freedom that most irked him at first was his watchdog. Naruto. The blonde dobe stuck to him like a parasite, trying to break Sasuke's cold composure with constant ribbing and loud antics. When he finally snapped, Sasuke attacked Naruto with a ferocity that surprised even him. But Naruto met him blow for blow, not batting an eye when worried shinobis crowded the training field uncertain if they should intervene.

When it was over, the two young men had lain on the ground in mutual exhaustion, sweat pooling on their bodies. _You finally did something about that stick shoved up your ass,_ Naruto had said, panting but pleased. He had grinned. _If you're angry about the villagers or the council or life in general, don't keep it bottled up like that. Take it out on me when we spar._

Ninjutsu and genjutsu were denied to Sasuke with his chakra cut off, but taijutsu was fair game. Thus began their daily spars, and before long, Sasuke was looking forward to them just as much as Naruto. He had too many years of anger and hatred weighing him down, and the perpetually optimistic ray of sunshine was the perfect punching bag. Not that he'd stand there and take it, of course. No, Naruto made him work for his hits, and on some level, Sasuke was extremely satisfied to have a challenge.

A rival.

A friend.

Not that he would tell the dobe that.

The worst part was that he didn't have to. On some subconscious level, the dobe understood him like no other. It was infuriating at times, but when Sasuke pushed aside his pride long enough to think objectively, he admitted that Naruto had brought him out of the eternal darkness that was his life.

Again, he would never tell the dobe that.

Huge walls appeared in his field of vision as they neared Konoha. If Sasuke were an ordinary man, he would dread the return to the hidden village with its cold stares and snide comments, but there were very few people that Sasuke gave a damn about - a very select few. In fact, he could count them on one hand. Everyone else could go screw themselves.

The duo jumped to the ground and walked through the gates of the Hidden Leaf Village with a quick wave to Kotetsu and Izumo at the guard post. They moved through the now-familiar streets of the rebuilt Konoha, villagers calling out to Naruto and coldly ignoring Sasuke. The dark-haired shinobi actually preferred this treatment to the sickly sweet gestures from his childhood.

_Oh, Sasuke-kun, back from your mission, are you?_

Obviously, you dumb ass.

_Sasuke-kun, what a credit you are to the shinobi forces!_

And how lucky we are that you aren't a shinobi.

_You're growing up to be such a handsome boy, Sasuke-kun!_

Hearing that from you, a wrinkly obaa-san, is sickening.

Never let it be said that Uchiha Sasuke was affected by the words of ignorant villagers.

A loud bark pulled Sasuke from his reverie, and a familiar face with red fang tattoos and a messy mop of brown hair came into view.

"Hey, Naruto! Back from a mission?" called Kiba as he ambled down the street towards them, Akamaru by his side.

"Yeah, it was a piece of cake!" Naruto interlaced his fingers behind his head and grinned broadly.

"Yo - ah, Sasuke," said Kiba, almost nervously.

Sasuke nodded briefly in response.

Kiba turned back to Naruto in apparent relief. "Sakura and Ino were looking everywhere for you. Something about a birthday party?"

Naruto's grin broadened. "Yeah, my birthday's next week. Eighteen years old, dattebayo!"

Kiba smirked, "And not a day over five - maturity-wise, at least."

Sasuke silently agreed, and his mouth threatened to turn upwards as Naruto vehemently exclaimed and flapped around wildly in denial, thus proving Kiba's point.

"Like you're any better, Kiba!" he finally concluded.

"Hmph. Anyways, you better be careful 'cause I heard Ino say something about turning your party into a dating game. Like we'll be paired off or something. Not that there's any problem with a good kissing game or two, but if you could convince her to play strip poker instead, the guys would be more willing."

Instead of laughing, Naruto glanced at Sasuke. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea," he murmured.

Sasuke caught the look. "What are you up to, usuratonkachi?" he demanded.

"Ah, nothing! Absolutely nothing," Naruto said with a laugh before quailing under the Uchiha's glare. "Okay, fine. I was thinking that you could, you know, try to mingle with the -"

"I'll pass," he said shortly.

"Arg! Don't be such an antisocial prick, teme! The only girl you talk to is obaa-chan. Your balls have probably shriveled up and died!"

A long moment passed. "I talk to Sakura." Once in a while. Every now and then. When she asked him a direct question.

"Barely, and only when she asks you a direct question."

Damn. He spent way too much time around the dobe.

Kiba and the rest had become accustomed to Naruto's frequent jabs at the Uchiha, but they had never quite been able to join in. The Uchiha's stone cold facade dissuaded any attempts to mess with him. Hell, the quickest way to end a conversation was for the Uchiha to walk in the room, and the only way to start it back was to ignore him entirely.

"Well, just wanted to warn you," said Kiba as he bounded off with a wave.

Naruto and Sasuke walked in silence for some time until Naruto, unable keep quiet, spoke up, "Ne, ne, Sasuke, speaking of your balls -"

If Sasuke were a more expressive man, he would have face-palmed.

"- you just gotta come to the party, dattebayo! You can use the time to look over some of Konoha's finest and pick out a Mrs. Uchiha Sasuke."

"No thanks," he said flatly.

Naruto threw up his hands in exasperation. "Seriously, teme. You say you want to rebuild the clan, but how the hell are you planning to find a wife if you never bother to look? There will be lots of pretty girls at the party and -"

"No woman in Konoha suits me, and any of them who would date a man who would have killed them in cold blood just aren't in their right minds."

Naruto's thoughts strayed to Sakura and Ino who, despite everything, retained their feelings for the stoic man, and if the coy glances and giggles on the street were anything to go by, Sasuke's handsome features weighed more heavily than his past in the eyes of numerous females of the village. "I don't think it would be all that hard to find someone if you took the time to look." A bright idea occurred to him. He nudged his friend. "Ne, Sasuke, what sort of wife do you want?"

"None of your business, dobe."

"The hell it is! As the only person on the planet you actually speak to on a regular basis -"

_Not by choice_, thought Sasuke dryly.

"- I hereby declare that I, Uzumaki Naruto, am entitled to all rights and privileges as and of pertaining to the business of Uchiha Sasuke, including but not limited to some idea of what type of girl he wants for a wife."

Sasuke's only response was to raise his eyebrow.

"That's Hokage language for 'answer the question.'"

"I know what you meant."

"Then answer the damn question!"

"Not a chance."

"Dammnit, Sasuke! Quit acting like some frosty, old ojii-san and tell me what sort of girl you like!"

Unfortunately, Sasuke had all too much experience with Naruto in one of these moods. When he wanted to know something, Naruto would pester him until he had his answer, and Sasuke, sadly, couldn't use the Mangekyo to silence him. The streets had emptied of civilians as they neared the Hokage tower, and Sasuke had an idea to throw off Naruto. Ordinarily, he would never dream of doing this, but anything to shut Naruto up was worth price his pride had to pay.

With the nimble skill of an S-class shinobi, Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the arm and whipped him sideways into an alley. Taking advantage of Naruto's surprise, he backed the blonde into a wall and leaned over him. "Who says," he whispered seductively, "I like girls at all?"

Blue eyes met his dark ones for a long moment.

"Then you're gay?" came Naruto's nonplussed response.

What? No running away? No shouts of denial? No screams that Sasuke was threatening his manhood?

"Okay," said Naruto calmly as Sasuke stood stupefied, "then I accept your offer to pay for ramen after we report to Tsunade-obaa-chan. It's a date." He nodded and smiled.

_Eh?_ thought Sasuke dumbly. _It - it was supposed to be a joke. Naruto should have screamed and run away by now._

Seconds ticked by as Naruto watched Sasuke calmly and Sasuke stared in mute shock, slightly paler than usual.

Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing. Moments later it looked like he was having a fit he was laughing so hard.

A cold feeling swept over Sasuke as a startling realization hit him. "You - you playing me just then, weren't you?" Naruto was still laughing, but he nodded his head in the affirmative. "H-how the hell could you tell I was joking?!" he demanded. It was a rare day that Uzumaki Naruto outsmarted Uchiha Sasuke.

"Heh, it was easy," said Naruto, wiping away tears. "You always get this light in your eyes and the right corner of your mouth quirks a little when you're about to make a joke."

"That - it is _insane_ that you know that." Sasuke himself didn't know that.

"Meh," he gestured dismissively, "you joke so rarely, plus it's so different from your normal frigid look that I learned to recognize it." With a grin, Naruto resumed walking. "So, are you going to tell me?"

"Fine," Sasuke snapped as Naruto whooped. Anything to take his mind off the dobe Naruto successfully pranking him. "I suppose I would want her to be a shinobi. Civilians just don't understand what it is we do." Naruto glowed at Sasuke's use of _we_, which Sasuke studiously ignored. "She would have to be strong in body and spirit to put up with the stigmatism of being my wife. Loyal, kind, intelligent...and -" Sasuke remembered his mother's bright smile as she welcomed him home from school. "-warm and cheerful, even...even playful, maybe." He looked over to see Naruto gaping. "What?" he said in irritation and a little embarrassment.

"I'm just surprised you actually told me," he said with a wide grin. "And you were so _honest_."

"Don't ask a question if you don't want to hear an answer," snapped Sasuke.

"Hold it, teme! I never said that! I was just surprised. Now I'm over the surprise, and I'm gonna start hunting for a kunoichi for you." Sakura, who seemed to meet every qualification, stayed on top of the mental list of candidates.

"Do not try to play matchmaker, dobe. You'll just embarrass yourself."

"Hey! You don't know that! I've never tried -"

"And what about you?" Sasuke interjected. "You're some big shot now, and you don't even have a girlfriend. Didn't Hinata confess to you?"

"Ah." Naruto scratched his head nervously as his excitement quickly deflated. "Yeah, two years ago. But I just - well, I like her a lot, and I thought long and hard about it but - I don't know. I just never -"

"You don't have to explain it. If you didn't feel the same way, then that's it."

Naruto was grateful that Sasuke would leave it at that, unlike Sakura who had hounded him for days for a proper answer. "Actually, it was Hinata who showed me that I wasn't really in love with Sakura." He glanced over and saw that Sasuke was listening. "I mean, it's like her confession showed me what real love is, and I realized that there's this, I don't know, whole other dimension to love. And what I felt for Sakura didn't even compare."

A sudden idea occurred to Naruto - that maybe Sasuke _did_ have feelings for a certain kunoichi but stayed silent out of loyalty to him. Following that train of thought, he continued, "So...if you want to consider Sakura as a candidate for -"

"I'm not interested in her." His tone was decisive and unyielding.

Naruto sputtered, "Why -"

That was when it happened.

A sharp jolt of pain wracked Naruto's body. He gasped and doubled over, clutching his middle.

"N-naruto!" Alarmed, Sasuke grabbed the blonde before he keeled over. "What's wrong?!" His normally blank shinobi eyes widened in worry as Naruto's legs crumpled beneath him.

Was it some sort of poison? A disease? Sasuke bent to grab Naruto and rush him to the hospital when a hand shot out and gripped him firmly.

"Give...it a...minute," Naruto gasped. He lay on the ground with his head between his knees and waited for the pain to slowly recede. A minute later, the throbbing dulled, and the world stopped spinning. Shakily, Naruto straightened to a sitting position on the ground and met the black eyes of the worried Uchiha.

"What was that?" yelled Sasuke.

"Uh, nothing," Naruto lied intelligently. "Stomach pain, I guess."

"Stomach pain?" asked Sasuke incredulously. "You were on the ground writhing!"

"Heh," he tried to laugh it off as he stood up slowly from the ground. "Glad you care, but it's nothing to -"

"Has this happened before?"

Naruto's smile faltered. He scratched at his cheek in a familiar nervous gesture.

"Has. This. Happened. Before?" Sasuke demanded with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"Ah, maybe once or twice. This month," he added unwillingly.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. It had probably happened more than that. Naruto, always more concerned with his friends than with himself, was likely to hide anything that might worry them. Examining him with a critical eye, Sasuke determined that his life was not in immediate danger, though he was glad they were about to see the Hokage.

Sasuke shrugged. "Whatever. Let's finish this report." Let Naruto think he wasn't concerned, and he wouldn't have a chance to escape the tower before the Hokage caught him.

"Right-o!" yelled Naruto, happy that Sasuke would let it slide.

Half an hour later, Naruto had finished detailing their successful capture of a B-rank missing nin spotted in Fire Country whom they had returned to the village of Kumo.

"Good work," Tsunade nodded approvingly. "Anything else?"

"The Raikage gave us this missive for you." Naruto handed her a sealed scroll.

"You checked it for traps?" she asked with a raised brow. Not that they were expecting any trickery from their ally, but it was protocol.

Naruto grinned. "'Course!"

_The boy is learning. He'll make a fine Hokage someday._ Tsunade glanced morosely at the paperwork stacked high on her desk. _And that day can't come soon enough. _"Very good. Take a day of rest and -"

"Hokage-sama," interrupted Sasuke. "I'm concerned about Naruto."

Naruto turned on his teammate furiously. "Teme, you -!"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes suspiciously as Naruto tried to haul Uchiha from the room. "What seems to be the problem, Uchiha?"

"Only minutes ago, Naruto was overcome by some sort of pain that left him on the ground whimpering."

"I was _not _whimpering!"

"Naruto?"

"It was nothing, obaa-chan. Probably just gas or something. No need to worry your deceptively young, Hokage head -"

"Sakura!" Tsunade yelled loudly. Her pink-haired apprentice entered the room moments later, taking the scene of her beloved in a headlock in stride.

"Hai, Tsunade-shishou. What did Naruto do this time?"

"Naruto is experiencing some strange pains."

Sakura's eyes appraised him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," Naruto said dismissively. "Just a little, er, stomach cramp."

Sasuke freed himself from Naruto's grip with a sharp elbow to his side. "He was also holding his head, and when he stood up, his knees shook as though he might fall again."

"How widespread was the pain, Naruto?" Tsunade demanded.

The blonde sighed, knowing he was trapped. "It was pretty much all over my body down to my fingertips and toes."

Sasuke spoke up, "Has it been getting worse?"

"No! It's -" Naruto cut off abruptly when Tsunade's eyes widened. He shot Sasuke a look that could kill.

"This has happened more than once?!" the Hokage yelled.

"Just once or twice," Naruto muttered between his teeth.

Sakura waved her hand in front of her nose. "Don't worry, Sasuke, Tsunade-shishou. If it's Naruto, it's probably just gas - ah, very extensive gas," she said lightly, but her mind was already cataloguing Naruto's physical state. Constricted pupils, heightened breathing, slight sheen of sweat - all signs of nervousness, but nothing irregular. He looked to be in perfectly good health, but for Sasuke to break his stoic demeanor and speak up, he must be worried.

"Sakura," ordered Tsunade, "take Naruto to the hospital and do a full triage. Get a blood sample and cheek swab for analysis. He can go home afterwards."

"Hai, shishou."

"Naruto, I'm banning you from missions for the next week, pending the results of your tests. If you have another pain, call for Sakura, Shizune, or myself immediately." Tsunade stood and walked over to him. Once a scrawny little runt, Naruto was now taller than her by more than an inch. The Hokage lifted her hand, and Naruto winced, expecting to be punched. But she rested it gently against his cheek. "Keep in mind, brat, that to be Hokage you have to use your head first. If you had collapsed while fighting the missing nin, you might not have made it home alive." She lightly slapped his cheek and turned to the former avenger. "Good work, Sasuke. A knucklehead like this needs his friends to keep him from doing something stupid."

Sasuke dipped his head, his mask of indifference back in place. "Hai, Hokage-sama."

_Maybe I can cut him some slack,_ thought Tsunade._ He genuinely cares about Naruto, and it's hardly his fault that his life was fucked over by Danzo and Itachi. _"I won't bother assigning an ANBU to watch you this week. Instead I expect you to check up on Naruto regularly, and for goodness sake, make him eat something other than ramen."

Sasuke kept his features expressionless and nodded in acquiescence.

... ... ...

After the trio disappeared from the Hokage's office, Tsunade turned her attention to the missive, secure in the knowledge that Naruto was in good hands.

She broke the seal and deciphered the Raikage's scrawl.

By the second line, Tsunade's eyes had narrowed.

By the third, her brow creased, forming an anxious line.

By the fourth, her teeth were clenched in anger.

By the last line, a trail of blood streamed down her chin from where she had bitten her lip.

In a fit of rage, the Godaime slammed her fist on the desk, shattering the dark wood irreparably.

... ... ...

In forest far from Konoha, Mitarashi Anko rubbed the familiar spot on her neck, just at the bend where it met her shoulder. The cursed seal had been sore more often as of late. _No need to bother Hokage-sama with this_, she thought uncertainly. _It doesn't mean he's alive. _She hoped she was right.

... ... ...

That afternoon Naruto ditched Sakura saying he was going to take a nap when he really headed up to the Konoha Archives burrowed in the mountain. He made his way to the back corner where three blonde figures in orange jumpsuits poured over scrolls and files.

"Hey, Boss," a clone said as Naruto approached them.

"Hey, guys, what have you found?" Instead of waiting for an answer, Naruto dispelled the Kage Bunshin technique. Days of information flooded his mind, and he winced as another headache formed. He hated doing that. It was different from using the clones to train. In training, they all did the same basic thing, so Naruto's mind only had to process hundreds of repetitions - things he was already familiar with. This time, however, his clones were studying and analyzing piles of information from numerous scrolls, and releasing the technique meant that Naruto learned in a moment the compilation of hours and hours of study by three shadow clones.

_That's part of the reason why it's a kinjutsu, _he reminded himself as his headache faded.

After he had assimilated the new data, he learned a considerable amount that ordinarily would have made him beam with pride, but the pervading realization made him sigh.

He still didn't have an answer.

_Come on, Kurama. What are we missing?_

**_I don't know, gaki. I can't find anything wrong. There's nothing for me to heal, and there's no distortion to my chakra that would be causing this._**

Naruto raked his hand through his hair in frustration. At this rate, he might have to tell obaa-chan that there was something wrong with the seal.

... ... ...

Two days later, Sasuke perched on a tree limb as Naruto lay beneath it, babbling incessantly.

"So Shikamaru might have been onto something with this cloud-watching thing, and since I've been ordered _not to train_," he said accusingly, "this is a good time to develop my cloud-watching abilities. That giant fluffy one looks like a trunkless elephant. That thin swirly one looks like a snake. Hey! Maybe it's the snake bastard come to take you back. I might even let you go without a fight this time. Probably would. And that one is like a face with two pigtail buns like TenTen. Ne, Sasuke," Naruto sat up with sudden interest, "what do you think of TenTen as your future wife? She's smart and nice and good with weapons. I don't know her all that well but -"

"She likes Neji," Sasuke grunted disinterestedly.

"Huh? How do you know?"

"It's obvious to anyone with a brain, dobe." Closing his eyes, Sasuke leaned back and rested his head against the tree trunk. "This is why you could never be a matchmaker. You miss all the cues."

"Cues? What sort of cues?"

Sasuke snorted. Always terrifyingly blunt, the blonde was completely clueless when it came to subtle hints and gestures.

Naruto frowned at Sasuke's silence then with two quick jumps landed on a limb near Sasuke. "What sort of cues?" he repeated.

Silence met his question.

Glancing around, Naruto spotted a long, thin branch covered in leaves conveniently located above Sasuke's head. With a grin and a quick twist of his wrist, Naruto smashed the leafy end into Sasuke's face.

"Oi!" Sasuke spluttered, jerked from his restful pose.

"What it like to really like someone, Sasuke?" Naruto asked seriously, letting go of the branch.

"Che, you should be asking a girl this," he scoffed.

"Well, I'm not. I'm asking you."

"It's not like I know much more than you." Seeing that Naruto was not to be dissuaded, he took a deep breath. Easier to just get it over with. "Fine. You act a little different around the person you like," Sasuke began. "You might be friendly with everyone, but with that one person, you...open up a little more." His tone grew thoughtful. "In their presence you laugh more, smile more. When you talk to them, you really want hear what they say. Your eyes can't help but glance their way, and when you know that they feel the same, there's this...quiet contentment resting beneath the surface."

"Sasuke," said Naruto in amazement, "you're quite the romantic, you know. It's hard to believe you've never had a crush."

"Hn. I'm not speaking from experience. That's just what I've heard." And what he had seen with his own parents. His father, Fugaku, was a hard man by all accounts with little warmth for even his family, but when Sasuke's mother would slip her hand in her husband's larger one, his stern features would soften into something akin to a smile.

"But I still don't see what's wrong with Sakura or Ino," complained Naruto.

"It's not that there's a problem with them. It's just that - ah, hell. Truth is, they annoyed me to death when we were kids. They were always giggling and shrieking and staring at me, and it lasted for _years_. They stalked me. Literally. In the academy, they sat behind me and pulled my hair. 'Rabid fangirls' is a very apropos description of them."

"Apro-what?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "It's a _fitting_ description. The thing is," he continued, "they never knew a thing about me. Didn't then. Don't now. To them, I was just the good-looking, mysterious survivor of the Uchiha massacre. Take away that, and they wouldn't have given me the time of day. Even now, they don't know anything about me."

"But in their defense, you don't exactly go out of your way to express what you're feeling."

"Hn."

"Sakura's an amazing shinobi," Naruto continued. "Sure, she's scary as hell when she's mad, but you should see her in the hospital. She's so in control and intelligent and efficient, totally _in her element_, dattebayo. And she's matured and all from her rabid fangirl days."

"I have great respect for Sakura as a medic and former team member."

"But -" Naruto prompted.

Sasuke's expression darkened considerably. "After we defeated Madara and the Juubi, Sakura was the first one to reach us. You were lying there blood-soaked and unconscious, and...she came to _me_. To heal _me._" He clenched his fists almost subconsciously, his nails digging into his palms. "You were with her all along, encouraging and protecting her. Not only had I _threatened_ to kill her, I actually tried to! _Twice! _And still she treated me before you. Even half-dead with chakra exhaustion, I remember being disgusted with her. You could have been dying for all she knew."

Naruto closed his eyes as he digested the information. He hadn't known that.

"Sorry," muttered Sasuke guiltily.

"Nah, I always knew she would go to you. That's what I would have wanted her to do."

"Baka."

"That's okay with me," he grinned as Sasuke shook his head. "So that's why you're so distant with her?" Naruto mused. Sasuke had a complicated system of honor, after all. Sure, he had tried to kill Naruto himself, but he had done so openly, upfront and clear about his intentions. He had broken their bond, or tried to, and only attacked after each knew where the other stood. Sakura, on the other hand, had passed over her teammate for a man who had tried to kill her. She had, in a sense, betrayed her friend for an enemy, and Naruto could have died by her neglect.

Sasuke shrugged. "I guess I don't _want _her to know me. As for all the other girls -"

"No, that I get," Naruto interrupted. "I really do. After I defeated Nagato, everyone was so eager to talk to me and this one guy wanted my autograph, like the last sixteen years of my life never happened. When we got back from the war, lots of girls were hanging around me asking me questions and smiling a lot. It was so weird, wrong even... It makes you wonder just who your real friends are."

Sasuke smirked. "Don't think too much, usuratonkachi. It's not like you."

... ... ...

Wracked with frustration, Naruto threw whatever papers he was holding into the air. They glided to the floor in disorganized clumps, and Naruto knew he would regret doing that when he had to pick them up.

"I _know_ I've seen this symbol or something like it." He yanked his hair as though that would help him pull out a discarded memory. Etched into a corner of his seal, the symbol in question was a thick line boxed in by four whirlpools forming a diamond shape. Days before, Naruto had identified the symbol as an addition to the Eight Trigrams Seal.

**_The Eight Trigrams that the Yondaime created broke at the waterfall of truth, Naruto_**, Kurama had said. **_If this symbol were a part of it, it would have disappeared too._**

_Yeah. _Naruto had scratched his head in confusion. _That means that this weird seal probably has nothing to do with you. My dad used your seal to disguise this one. But what's it for?_

The following day, Naruto had discovered something else. He had poked Kurama awake in his excitement.

_It's doing something with my chakra!_ he had exclaimed._ It's such a minuscule amount that I never noticed, but the seal is feeding on a constant stream of my chakra!_

**_For what purpose?_**

Naruto had deflated. _Dunno yet._

Two days after his last discovery, Naruto pounded his head on the table in misery. He couldn't find the symbol anywhere, in any scroll in the whole damn archive!

**_Maybe it was an original seal by your mom or dad, and they never archived it, _**suggested Kurama.

_Yeah, except this line - _Naruto jabbed his stomach where the symbol was outlined - _looks so damn familiar!_

**_It's just a line like any other, _**the Kyuubi said in annoyance. The bijuus, especially a certain demon fox, were not known for their patience.

_It's a _thick _line, _Naruto contradicted, _and the edges are sort of...rounded. It's not the sort of line you see in normal script, and I just _know -

He was cut short as a seizing pain gripped his body. The now-familiar attacks took their toll. It was awful, as though every muscle and bone in his body were screaming madly. Being ripped to pieces. Agonizing minutes past as Naruto stuffed his fist in his mouth to stifle the moans that threatened to escape his lips. As always, the pain dwindled to a dull ache, and the attack stopped as quickly as it started.

**_The attacks are coming more often,_**noted Kurama quietly.**_ And lasting longer._**

_I know._

**_You don't have to do everything alone, Naruto. Tell your friends. They might know something._**

_I'm not doing this alone. I've got you, right? _

Kurama snorted, a little pleased despite himself. **_Sure, an immortal demon who never had more than a passing knowledge about seals. Kushina was careful to block me out when she did seal work. She was afraid I might find a way to break myself out._**

_Could you really have done that? I thought it was impossible._

**_If she was worried about it, then it must have at least been plausible in theory._**

Naruto thought long and hard. _Well, I don't know much about my mom's seal specifically, but if you were able to find its keystone - that's the point that essentially holds the entire seal together - you could possibly disrupt it by forming a secondary seal over it. With the momentary weakening of the primary seal, if you concentrated as much chakra as possible on that point, you might have been able to break free._

Kurama looked at him appraisingly. **_You know, gaki, I never thought I'd say this, but you have real talent with seals. You're a natural._**

Blushing with pride, Naruto scratched his chin. _Ah, well, the Uzumaki clan was renowned for this stuff. Everyone talks about the Yondaime as though he were incredible with seals - and he was - but really it was my mom that was the sealmaster. And everyone says I'm just like her, _he grinned.

**_Heh, you shouldn't be telling me this, though. I might have to test it out with _****your****_ seal. _**It was a credit to Kurama and Naruto's relationship that the former was jesting and the latter knew it.

Instead of laughing, however, Naruto stared at the fox. _Actually, I want you to know this, just in case._

**_Just in case what?_**

_Well_, he said awkwardly, _if this weird seal messes me up or I'm ever wounded beyond repair in a fight or something - _He leveled Kurama with a serious look - _I want you to break free._

**_Naruto -_**

_There's no need for you to die along with me, if it comes to that._

The Kyuubi looked for a long moment at his vessel, his eyes softening imperceptibly. **_You really are a crazy shinobi, Naruto. _**

After a long moment, Naruto grinned, dispelling the tension in the air._ Speaking of which, Kurama, I think I might have found a way to give you some freedom without killing me. If you want it, that is._

Red eyes with slitted pupils widened in surprised. **_Worry about that later, _**he finally said.**_ Figure out this seal for now._**

... ... ...

Naruto met Sasuke in training field E for their daily spar. They still mostly fought with taijutsu, but with Sasuke's increased chakra allowance, they added a bit of ninjutsu as well.

"You should go into Sage Mode so you actually stand a chance, dobe," said Sasuke as he stretched.

"As if, teme! Without your Mangekyo, Sage Mode would -"

Naruto stopped.

Could it be?

Surely not.

But -

"Sage Mode," he whispered. "It can't be, but - it - it's Sage Mode. It's Sage Mode! It's gotta be! Sasuke, I love you!" In jubilation, Naruto ignored the bewildered Uchiha and bit his thumb.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" he yelled.

One poof later, a large, white cloud dispelled, revealing an enormous, orange toad with blue markings and wearing a vest.

"Yo, Naruto! What's up?" asked the toad when he determined that there were no enemies in sight.

"Gamakichi, can you do a reverse summons? I need to speak to gramps!"

Gamakichi eyed the hyperactive shinobi in confusion. "Er, yeah. Er, I'll be going then."

Moments later, Naruto disappeared into thin air, leaving a stupefied Uchiha in his wake.

... ... ...

Naruto lay on the ground, shirtless, as a small green toad with white hair around the ears poked and prodded his stomach. With the Sage Mode hint, Naruto had realized that the thick line, rounded at the edges, looked exactly like the pupils of his eyes when he entered Sage Mode.

"You're right, Naruto-boy," said Fukasaku in his froggy voice. "This seal is taking in natural energy and mixing it with your chakra."

Naruto sighed in relief. He was finally getting somewhere. "Did my dad ever mention a seal like this, Geezer-Sage?"

The small toad shook his head. "Neither did Jiraiya-boy."

"Any idea what it's for?"

"It's hard to say, Naruto-boy. The seal is taking the natural energy and pulling it into your body, so I can't follow the thread. I would have guessed that it was used as reinforcement for the Eight Trigrams seal, but since that's gone and it's still funneling chakra - " he trailed off and looked at Naruto critically. "As you know, natural energy has a wide range of uses, including advanced sensory techniques, physical enhancement, and transformation among others."

Naruto scratched his head. "Sure, but I've never been different from other shinobi, except for having the Kyuubi sealed in me. I don't have any unusual, er, things about me. I just don't get why I'm only finding this out now! If it's been sucking my chakra for my entire life -"

"It's possible to become so accustomed to stimuli that your brain doesn't bring them to your attention anymore. In your case, you've had this seal since you were an infant, and only when you focused intently on it did your conscious mind recognize the chakra stream. I'm not sure what it's actually doing, but at least we can conclude that it is indeed Minato-boy's work."

"How can you tell for sure?" Naruto had harbored doubts that it was his father's doing at all. The snake bastard had once messed with his seal, and for all he new, Orochimaru could have added a parting gift.

"These whirlpools," stated the Geezer-Sage. "They were Minato-boy's signature - well, they were Kushina-girl's first, but your father picked it up. Comforting to know the seal hasn't been harming you all these years, eh?"

"Sure, until it started causing debilitating attacks," Naruto muttered darkly.

"_Debilitating_ is a long word, Naruto," said Gamakichi. "Where'd you learn it?"

Fukasaku continued as though his descendant had not spoken, "Yes, that's the strange thing. Makes me think that the seal is...expiring."

"It's weakening?"

"I believe so, and that could be the cause of your attacks. For almost eighteen years the seal has been doing _something_ to your body. The pains may be withdrawal symptoms."

"Then can I just remove it? Fuzzball wouldn't let me."

The demon fox forcibly switched out with Naruto and spoke to the toad, **"I thought it foolish to remove the seal without knowing its purpose."**

"The Kyuubi makes a good point," said Fukasaku as Naruto's red eyes turned back to blue. "Even now, it's better to let the seal take its natural course rather than risk the unknown effects of its removal."

Naruto shot the toad a sour look. Geezer-Sage wasn't the one who had to endure the frequent attacks and hide from his friends at the same time. He was about to retort when a huge toad leaped into his field of vision.

"Yo, Naruto," said Gamabunta in his gruff voice, pipe sticking out of his mouth. The ground shook when he landed. "Your birthday is two days from now. It's almost time for you to fulfill our contract and drink with me!"

"Right, Boss! Can you summon me that night?"

"Don't you have a party to be at?"

"That's not 'til this weekend when everyone's back from their missions."

"Good. Expect it around dusk then."

Naruto nodded and surveyed the three toads. Three friends who'd stuck with him through thick and thin. "Thanks, Geezer-Sage! I'm off!"

... ... ...

So the seal had a time limit. Naruto just had to put up with the attacks until then, and he had a feeling he knew when that was. It was a logical conclusion anyways.

**_You should tell someone. Now that we're pretty sure you won't come to harm, there's no reason to hide what you've discovered._**

_Yeah, there is, _Naruto argued. _We still aren't sure what's going to happen, and it might be something I don't want anyone to know. And what if..._

**_What if what?_**

A dreamy look crossed Naruto's face. _What if my parents put of bit of their chakra into this seal like with the Eight Trigrams? I don't know where my chakra and the natural energy come into play, but...what if I get to see my parents on my eighteenth birthday?_

Kurama spoke hesitantly, **_Then why wouldn't your parents have mentioned it when they saw you before? _**

_To surprise me,_ Naruto snapped. A moment later he sighed remorsefully, _Sorry, fuzzball._

**_Hmph. Next time you apologize, don't add an insult._**

_Then lose the fur._

_... ... ..._

Sheer dumb luck and a very durable shadow clone kept the truth behind the attacks hidden from Naruto's vigilant friends that week. Sakura had taken to dropping by whenever she had a spare minute, checking his blood pressure, temperature, and even his reflexes every time she visited. Naruto's knee might have been permanently bruised from excessive reflex tests if Kurama hadn't been healing him. Kiba, Neji, and particularly Lee had been popping up out of the blue whenever the fancy took them, the latter yelling about the youthfulness of watching over his friends, and Hinata, more assertive once she'd given up on Naruto, had cornered him in Ichiraku's. Naruto was glad that Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji were on a mission; the genius might have read the truth in Naruto's guilty features.

Sasuke was the hardest to avoid, but the only close call occurred when Naruto was in the bathroom. The pain hit him just as Sasuke jumped through his bedroom window, and Naruto was able to turn on the shower in time to keep Sasuke from becoming suspicious and demanding that he open the door.

Their spars were the trickiest matter, but Naruto had the perfect chance to test out his newest technique - Permanent Shadow Clones.

They weren't really permanent, of course, but Naruto had discovered that if he ramped up the chakra in the clone and transferred a bit of his own blood to it, then the shadow clone wouldn't poof out of existence from a single blow. The more blood Naruto gave it, the more durable the shadow clone became. The drawback was that he could only make two at a time without threatening his own blood supply. The best part was that, for whatever reason, the clones didn't suffer from the attacks! So in his last two spars with Sasuke, Naruto had sent a blood clone who fought a defensive match, never giving Sasuke a proper hit and never putting itself in a vulnerable position.

Thus passed the days before his birthday.

Now it was 11:43 p.m. on October 9th, and Naruto sat with tense expectation in front of his digital clock, watching each minute tick by. His new apartment was much nicer than the one from his childhood, which was destroyed along with the rest of Konoha in Pain's attack, and Naruto kept it cleaner than he had his old one. With nicer furniture and walls that weren't rotting, he was more inclined to take out the trash and straighten his things. Several of his friends lived the complex as well, including the Uchiha bast-

As though summoned by a thought, Sasuke appeared at his window. "Dobe, I saw your light on."

Curse the entire Uchiha clan!

"You were acting strange at our spar earlier, and I've concluded that you're actually worried about these attacks. Have you had anymore?" he demanded.

Naruto peeked at the clock out of the corner of his eye.

11:46

He had fourteen minutes to get the bloody teme out the bloody door! Naruto chuckled weakly, "'Course not, teme. I'm just fit as a fiddle, hunky dory, just fine in other words."

Sasuke raised a brow. "You're acting even stranger now."

"Just, er, excited about my birthday!"

Sasuke watched him speculatively.

11:49

"So yeah!" exclaimed Naruto. "There's no reason for you to loose sleep worrying about me. So why don't you just head back to your -"

"I'm not tired."

Curses on all the future Sasuke babies!

11:50

"Sasuke!" Said Uchiha jerked at the sudden shout. "I lent you my - uh - my manga! You irresponsible teme! You weren't going to return it, were you? How dare you -!"

"I didn't borrow your manga, baka. I don't read manga."

"Well, aren't you just some, uh, perfect, little, stuck-up, goody two-shoes shinobi."

"Naruto, what is _wrong _with you?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'm just peeved that my room's been invaded by some bloody teme that can't take a hint."

"The only way I can get you out of mine is by threatening to destroy your ramen stores."

11:53

Gah! Why had the teme chosen _this night _to be all concerned and curious?!

"Why do you keep glancing at the clock, dobe? And why are you sweating?"

With a shout, Naruto pounced on Sasuke, intending to tie him up and throw him out the door. But whether it was his nerves or some other factor, Naruto executed the attack sloppily, and Sasuke, eyes widening in surprise, countered.

Sasuke slammed Naruto's face into the floor, twisting his arms behind his back, effectively pinning him. "What the hell?!"

When all else fails, hit 'em with the truth.

"All right, already! There's this other seal -" Naruto babbled furiously. He wasn't even certain of what he was saying, but Sasuke released him long enough to listen. Naruto poked at his stomach a few times and pointed at the clock desperately, yammering something about 'midnight' and 'birthday.'

11:58

"Let me get this straight. The Yondaime put another seal on you. It uses natural energy and your chakra. You don't know what it's for, but it's weakening as we speak. You also don't know what will happen once it breaks -"

It was really quite amazing that the Uchiha had managed to translate so well.

11:59

"- AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" Sasuke was furious.

Naruto clenched his eyes shut to tune out the irritating Uchiha, almost feeling the last minute slip past as though it were tangible.

A long moment passed as Sasuke watched on anxiously, unsure of what he should do.

A very long moment passed, and Naruto frowned. He waited some more.

Finally, Naruto lost his patience and squinted his eyes to look at the clock.

12:01

Maybe it would take a minute for the seal's removal to be effective.

12:02

Okay, maybe it would take three minutes to be effective.

12:03

Naruto slumped miserably. _Kami, what a letdown. I was so sure -_

"I think your clock's fast, dobe," said Sasuke.

Naruto spun to him in surprise.

No sooner had bright blue eyes met black ones than a flash of terrible pain tore through Naruto's body.

His back arched violently as he cried out. His entire body throbbed in agony. This was no ordinary attack; it was like the sum of every other one. His blood pulsed, and nerves spiked with intolerable pain.

"Naruto! Hang on! I've got to get you to the hospital!" yelled Sasuke.

Naruto's body abruptly relaxed. He fell unconscious from the pain.

In fear and desperation, Sasuke's hands shot towards the blonde to whisk him away to the hospital, but suddenly, his hands stopped. His fear-filled eyes widened even further. Something was happening to Naruto. Something that stopped Sasuke in his tracks.

Naruto's hair was lengthening. The golden locks that once formed his spiky hairstyle now extended down past his shoulders - past his waist - down his lower back. Naruto's hands were covering his face, still clenched as though frozen, and his fingers...changed. They were slender, softer, more...feminine. Sasuke's eyes darted down Naruto's body, his shinobi mind cataloguing each and every alteration. Naruto's feet disappeared from view as though they were sucked into his bright-orange pants. Sasuke paused for a long moment at a curious bulge on Naruto's chest.

Stymied, even panicked, Sasuke jerked away from the unconscious person in all-consuming alarm. His breath came in short gasps as his struggled to simultaneously accept and reject what his eyes told him was happening.

As suddenly as the metamorphosis began, it stopped, and Sasuke was left staring at the transformed body of his best friend. In growing trepidation, he hesitantly reached out and pulled Naruto's hand away from his face.

Naruto's once oval face was now...heart-shaped. His nose was smaller, his cheekbones higher, his brows thinner. Sasuke's gaze rested for a long moment on a pair of full lips. More plump than Naruto's thin ones and decidedly...girly. The only feature that remained the same were the thin scars on both cheeks, giving the appearance of whiskers. If not for that and for the fact that Sasuke had witnessed the transformation himself, he never would have known it was the same blonde dobe.

This had to be a prank. One of Naruto's insane jokes, and he had taken it too far this time. Sasuke activated his Sharingan. Damn, it wasn't genjutsu. It wasn't a henge. It was - it was freaking impossible!

There lay Uzumaki Naruto. He was the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi. Hero of the shinobi world. Honored Sage. And somehow, impossibly, he was a girl.

* * *

******This was a long chapter since I wanted to resolve the issues of Sasuke's return and his dynamic with the village and, more importantly, Naruto. Sorry if there are any elements that deviate from canon. In my defense, there are over 600 chapters in the manga, and I can't possibly keep everything straight. I am grateful for any corrections, particularly if they are worded nicely :)**

**What do you think? Should I continue the story? Please review!**


	2. The Mirror's Reflection

**Thank you all so much for the amazing response! **

**Notes: (1.) I will try to update this fanfic at least bi-weekly. When my other fanfic is finished, I may be able to go to weekly updates. (2.) Naruto will not, I repeat NOT, turn into a wimpy crybaby of a girl who has to be rescued every other chapter. Her character will remain more or less the same with only a few, minor alterations. (3.) I make up a lot of details about certain jutsus like henge. If I say anything that directly deviates from the manga, please correct me. If not, just go with it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

The Mirror's Reflection

Sasuke stared, immobile in shock. Dumbly, some corner of his brain told him to make sure Naruto was still alive. He reached out a trembling hand and put it to Naruto's pulse, hesitantly, as though unsure if he should touch him - or her. Sasuke sighed in relief when he felt a pulse throbbing under his finger. Naruto's sides moved as he - er, _she_ - breathed in deeply.

"S-saasssuke," Naruto moaned. Even his - no, _her_ - voice sounded different. It was higher-pitched and somehow softer, more like a girl's. "Sasuke," he - dammnit, _she - _called in a muddled tone.

"N-n-naruto," he said shakily. "Are - are you okay? Can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me."

The blonde moaned again and tried to obey. Brilliant blue eyes like shining sapphires blinked wearily up at the dark, blurry figure leaning over her. "Sasuke. I - I feel weird. What happened?"

_You freaking just turned into a girl! That's what happened!_ he wanted to scream."You - uh - collapsed. I should get you to a hospital. Maybe." How could he explain this to the medic on call?

"Sleepy," Naruto mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"Maybe you should just rest for now," Sasuke suggested with false calm. "Sleep it off, and - and - and we'll go see Sakura in the morning."

"'Kay."

_Not here, you dobe!_ Sasuke shouted inwardly, but the blonde had already begun to snore where she lay on the hardwood floor in the living room of her apartment. Her head was turned at an odd angle, and her hip was digging into the floor. It couldn't be a comfortable position.

Sasuke hesitantly poked her in the shoulder with his finger. "Oi, Naruto. Wake up, and get in bed. Oi!"

Her snores continued uninterrupted.

Sasuke looked at her uncertainly, the obvious solution glaring him in the face, however reluctant he was to do it. Sighing darkly, he leaned towards her, and with nimble fingers, he gathered the blonde in his arms and carried her towards her room. She was surprisingly light, her body soft in ways a boy's could never be. Almost fragile. Sasuke could have laughed had the situation been different. Naruto, fragile? Never.

He dropped the girl unceremoniously onto her bed. It wasn't much as far as revenge went, but she deserved the three-foot drop for the fright she'd given him. _Fright_, he realized suddenly. He had actually been afraid. Sasuke hadn't felt fear since the war, when Madara almost succeeded in ripping the Kyuubi out of Naruto. _Dammnit_, he thought anxiously, _stupid dobe_. This was the bond that he had tried so hard to break. This bond caused him to care about an idiot and to fear when the idiot was in danger. But fear was weakness, and weakness had to be destroyed. That was what he had believed.

Naruto slept on, unperturbed by Sasuke's turmoil. A contented noise sounded from deep within her throat as she snuggled into her blankets.

Sasuke stared at the girl for another long moment before he pulled the covers up to her chin. Moonlight fell across the blonde, illuminating the feminine features of the still familiar face, and Sasuke knew he wouldn't get a wink of sleep that night.

... ... ...

**~ the following morning ~**

Naruto opened her eyes wearily, still partly inside her dream - a strange dream, it was. Her body had screamed in pain as she convulsed. Sharingan eyes had widened in panic - Ha! As if the Uchiha teme even knew what panic was. Naruto sat up slowly, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes as the last vestiges of her dream faded from her mind. She pushed the covers off her body.

The first thing she noticed was that she was still wearing her orange shinobi suit. Odd. She preferred to sleep in her frog pajamas.

The second thing she realized was that she couldn't remember how she had gotten in bed the night before.

As she reached up to scratch her chin, a third peculiarity intruded upon her notice. The sleeves of her jacket...they were, well, floppy. They had loosened considerably as though they'd been stretched, and her hands were buried somewhere inside of them.

In sleepy confusion, she pulled back the sleeves. "When did my clothes get so big?" Naruto mumbled. This was the same outfit she'd worn the day before, right? Her hand didn't make it up to her chin. Instead, her arm hit something along the way, something soft and...bouncy.

Naruto turned her face downwards to stare at a peculiar swelling on her chest. There were two of them. Cupping the bulges in her hands, Naruto looked at them in fearful amazement. She pressed them and felt where her fingers touched. In growing alarm, she _squeezed _them as hard as she could, digging her fingernails in.

"Yow!" she yelped as the unfamiliar pain made her twist in surprise. A moment later, Naruto's head hit the floor with a resounding thud.

The shout and thud alerted a nearby shinobi who burst into the bedroom without knocking. Sasuke gazed for a long moment at the blonde and orange conundrum. Naruto's head had solidly smacked the floor while her lower half remained on the bed. The orange jacket was slipping downward to reveal a very slender, white stomach. Sasuke averted his gaze.

Normally, Naruto would wonder what the hell the teme was doing in her room, but at the moment, there were more pressing matters at hand. More specifically, _in _her hands.

"Sasuke." Naruto looked at the upside-down avenger in confusion, not bothering to change her position. "What's going on? What are _these_?" she asked, indicating the lumps of flesh in her hands.

Was it her imagination or did the Uchiha's cheeks turn a curious shade of...pink?

"N-naruto," Sasuke forced himself to say, "you might want to go look at yourself in a mirror."

"Huh?"

"Just go look in a mirror!" he shouted as he edged back into the living room.

"Geez! Okay, okay." Naruto righted herself and stood up from the floor. She eyed the Uchiha in confusion as she walked past him. Had he gotten taller? No way. She was still half asleep, and from the looks of it, Sasuke should still be asleep, too. His eyes were red but not from the Sharingan. No, they were bloodshot, as though he had gotten no sleep that night. Maybe that explained his peculiar behavior, but it didn't explain the strange things on her chest. Nor why she couldn't walk without tripping over her unusually long pants.

Naruto pushed open the bathroom door and trudged in. She stood in front of the mirror and blinked as her reflection came into focus.

Blue eyes stared back at her, and whisker marks lined her cheeks. But somehow, everything else appeared curiously...off.

There was a long pause.

"GGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH !" she shrieked, backpedaling into the wall. Her hands brushed against something soft. Something that _wasn't supposed to be there_. Gripping the long golden strands of what was certainly _not her hair_, Naruto yanked and cried out. No good, the stuff was actually attached to her scalp. Flashing wildly, her eyes encountered the same reflection in the mirror.

In a frenzy of confusion, Naruto brought her hands together to dispel the Oiroke no Jutsu that she didn't remember casting, but the girl in the mirror remained the same. She tried again. And again. Her mind raced for an answer, but coming up empty, Naruto turned to the one other living being in her apartment for an explanation.

She moved so fast, Sasuke would have thought she had learned the Hiraishin no Jutsu, and she grasped him by the green chunin vest he wore, slamming him against a wall of her living room.

"What happened to me?!" she yelled, shaking Sasuke madly. "Why do I look like a GIRL?!"

"The seal," he choked, wanting to pull away from the girl but wary of touching her. "It had to be -"

"The seal," repeated Naruto, her eyes going wide. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. She looked into Sasuke's bloodshot eyes, begging for him to say it was all a joke, but he had never been one for practical jokes. The seal used natural energy. Natural energy could be used for transformation. Today was October 10. Her birthday. The day the seal expired.

Sasuke pulled his head back, putting as much space between his face and the girl's as possible. "Don't get so close to me," he warned.

"I HAVE TURNED INTO A GIRL, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT A LITTLE PROXIMITY?!"

"I'm just a bit...disturbed," Sasuke said. He had lain awake all night on the couch restless but half-convinced that he was actually dreaming. Seeing blue-eyed blonde very much awake in this animated girl body had thrown him. From the girl's reaction, she truly was Naruto, which meant that Sasuke's best friend - hell, his _only_ friend - was in fact a girl. It was no trick, no prank, and Sasuke didn't know how to react.

"You think you're the only one?! Sasuke, I have _boobs_! Do you know what they feel like?! They're heavy, floppy, and they're just - there! In the way. It's insane! I mean, look -" Naruto proceeded to grab her shirt and yank it up -

"Dammnit! Pull your shirt down!" Sasuke's hand darted almost instinctively and grasped Naruto's orange jacket before she could lift it over her head.

"Sasuke, are you blushing?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

"Then let go of my jacket so I can figure out what's going on!" Naruto proceeded to fling Sasuke's arm away and rip the jacket off. Her black undershirt was tight in new places and strangely loose in others. Blue eyes widened and pupils constricted to pinpoints as they focused on the now well-defined shape of Naruto's chest. "Oh, god! It's true!" Naruto reached for the black shirt. She had to know. She had to see. She wouldn't believe it until -

"No!" Sasuke's hand shot forth again, unwilling to let the blonde to strip further.

As the two shinobis struggled, neither noticed that the door to Naruto's apartment had opened until a young man cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Ah, excuse me. Wrong apartment," he mumbled in embarrassment. Nara Shikamaru had bad luck. When he had returned from his mission the night before, Sakura had been waiting at his apartment, which was odd enough on its own. Then the pink-haired kunoichi proceeded to order him to check on Naruto who was having strange attacks. He was a genius at putting clues together, she said, so maybe he could figure out what Naruto was hiding. Shikamaru had put her off, saying that it was late and he was tired, but he could not rest easily that night. _Troublesome_, he had thought to himself as he rolled over in bed. It would be just like Naruto to hide something from his friends rather than worry them.

So the reluctantly concerned Nara made his way to Naruto's to observe the blonde and possibly deduce the truth behind the mysterious attacks.

Clearly Shikamaru had been too absent-minded when he walked toward Naruto's apartment. Though why his feet had taken him to the Uchiha's room was beyond even him, but there was Uchiha Sasuke trying to rip the shirt off a girl. So not what Shikamaru wanted to see in the morning. Or ever. The strangest thing was that the girl had a familiar shade of blonde hair and startling blue eyes. All in all, she looked very similar to Naruto in his Oiroke no Jutsu, right down to whisker marks on her cheeks. Smaller and prettier than the usual Oiroke-Naruto, but too similar to be mere coincidence.

Another quick glance around the room told Shikamaru that he was indeed in Naruto's apartment, and that the two people looking at him in surprise were indeed Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto.

Either the two boys had developed a rather kinky relationship or something else was going on. Whatever the case, Shikamaru did not want to know.

_This is what you get for trying to check on a friend. Troublesome._

These conclusions were drawn in a fraction of a second, and Shikamaru turned hurriedly on his heel and strode out the door.

"Ah! Grab 'im, Sasuke!"

A hand on his shoulder gripped Shikamaru firmly and pulled him back into the room.

"Look," said Shikamaru, waving his hands in front of him, "it's none of my business what you two do. In fact, I'd prefer _never_ to -"

"You did _not_ just see what you think you saw," snarled Sasuke.

"Right, I definitely did not see you try to rip Naruto's shirt off his female body. I swear I won't tell -"

Naruto flung herself past the two boys to slam the front door shut. "Don't say that so loudly! People might hear you!"

Shikamaru muttered that he wasn't the one yelling. He could not sense the henge, but then, Naruto had grown more and more proficient in ninjutsu, so perhaps he was able to hide the use of his chakra. It was a very good henge, realistic down to the ample chest that was far too close to Shikamaru for comfort.

"Shikamaru! I need you -"

The genius took in the sight of a henged Naruto and a rather breathless and red-faced Uchiha who were both blocking his exit. "I do not do threesomes," he interrupted firmly. He would use his Kagemane no Jutsu to escape if he had to.

After a moment of shock, Naruto made a gagging sound, and Sasuke looked rather sick himself.

Naruto finally forced her mouth to work. "No, Sasuke and I -"

"I really don't want to hear about your relationship with the Uch-"

"Hell, no! You've got it totally wrong! I just turned into a girl!" As was usual, the blonde put too little distance between herself and whomever she was talking to, and Shikamaru's vision was filled with the sight of an indignant young woman with flashing eyes filled with desperation and even a little fear.

Despite himself, certain wheels in Shikamaru's head had been turning from the moment he had realized who the blonde was, and at her declaration, his mind had conceived of a number of potential explanations as to why a boy was suddenly a girl - none of them likely but none impossible. He systematically catalogued the rapid breathing, jerky motions, and panicked eyes of the girl. If it were anyone else, Shikamaru might be prepared to accept it, but...this was Naruto, who had never outgrown a little mischief. "I'm not in the mood for a -"

"It's not a prank!" Naruto protested hotly. "I really am a girl. See?" She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her chest in the blink of an eye.

The genius jerked his hand away and stared at the unchanged form before him. A henge was an excellent jutsu for fooling enemies by sight and sound; its weakness lay in touch. Shikamaru's hand should have passed through the ninjutsu, and his own chakra should have distorted the henge. But according to his hand, _that_ had been very real.

"You should have started explaining with the seal," said Sasuke whose face had returned to its impassive, unfeeling mask. Inwardly, he was relieved that someone else was just as astonished as he.

"Right, the seal!" Naruto's mouth was in motion, and a rarely expressed corner of Shikamaru's mind twitched in satisfaction as his soundest theory - a seal utilizing natural energy - was proven true.

Five minutes later, he blew out a breath as Naruto finished. Damn, this was troublesome. He frustratedly muttered something about having just gotten back from Suna and not needing this sort of trouble.

"Eh?" Naruto piped in excitedly, "Did you get to see Te-ma-ri-san?" She said the other girl's name in a singsong voice full of teasing.

Shikamaru stared at her for a minute. "Damn," he said, rubbing his neck as the last trace of uncertainly fled. "You really are Naruto. I thought maybe I died on the mission and awoke in an alternate reality. How troublesome."

"So you believe me then?"

Shikamaru sighed and nodded.

"Yosh! So, what am I supposed to do now?" Naruto asked the genius, desperate for guidance.

"I don't think there's anything you _can_ do except to accept that you are a -" Shikamaru trailed off as Naruto's face fell. Damn. He rubbed his neck, wishing that he were under a tree somewhere, watching the clouds go by. He sighed, "Hokage-sama has access to data that no shinobi can see without her permission. Maybe there's some explanation hidden somewhere in those files."

"But that means I have to tell her -"

"Probably so."

Somehow it felt like the fewer people knew, the less true her condition would be, but right now, she was desperate to do _something_ to find some sort of possible explanation for the Yondaime's madness. "Let's get this over with," she mumbled, glancing down at her new body. Her clothes were too large now, but she had kept some from two years ago that were a little smaller. Resigned to her fate, Naruto walked towards her bedroom, reaching for her shirt to pull over her -

"Stop."

Naruto turned at Shikamaru's command.

"Whatever is going on, right now you're a girl, so you can't just strip in front of us because we -" he motioned to himself and Sasuke "- are _boys_. Even you should know that girls and boys have different bodies."

Any color left in Naruto's face drained at an alarming rate. "No," she whispered, as though a terrible thought occurred to her. Without further warning, she reached for her pants and jerked them down to her ankles, revealing well-formed, very feminine legs that two pairs of male eyes latched onto before catching themselves.

Naruto's mind was elsewhere. Her boxers were the same frog pattern as yesterday, but they felt curiously...empty.

"It's gone," she whispered blankly.

A dark chuckle emanated from deep within Naruto's mind.

_You damn fuzzball! Did you know about this?!_

**_I had no idea._**

_Liar! You saw me before the Yondaime put the seal on me!_

**_My mind had just been taken over by Uchiha Madara who had me destroy half of Konoha - not that I would have objected had I been in control of myself. Afterwards, I was in a murderous rage and was about to be resealed within an scrawny infant. Forgive me for not taking the time to glance between your legs, _**came the Kyuubi's acridly sarcastic response.

Growling, Naruto slammed her bedroom door behind her and tore off her clothes in a raging frenzy.

* * *

**I'll be getting to the whole 'adventure' part of the genre soon enough. I just want to do a thorough job of describing Naruto's feelings and the reactions of his (*ahem* ****_her_****) friends.**

**Please review! As a writer, it's so inspiring to get feedback!**


	3. The Most Surprising Shinobi

**Um, yeah, I said two weeks, but then I couldn't stop writing...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

The Most Surprising Shinobi

Uchihas were never taken by surprise because they were always aware and in control of their surroundings. Uchihas were never in a position of discomfort because they were secure in the knowledge that their bloodline was superior and thus the doings of inferior creatures could have no ill effect on them. Uchihas were never uncertain or confused as to their course of actions because ultimately they would act in the best interest of their clan.

Uchiha Sasuke tried to remember these teachings. In fact, he recited them over and over in his head like a mantra to maintain the characteristic calm of his family. However, the fact of the matter was that Sasuke was continually surprised to the point of shock, was distinctly uncomfortable and had been all night, and was so uncertain and confused that he didn't know which way to look.

The one place he wanted to avoid looking was the one place to which his eyes were constantly drawn. It was a particular spot slightly ahead of him and to his left, where a mop of sunshine blonde hair bounced with each step.

Naruto was in a henge. A henge of himself, of the young man he was a day ago, of the young man _she_ was a day ago. It was a very realistic henge. Not a whisker nor a hair was out of place, and that stupid grin was plastered on her face as usual. It would be so easy to believe that the past ten hours were nothing but a nightmare. Perhaps that was why Sasuke had begun to fear for his sanity.

He didn't understand how that darn Nara had the most unconcerned and disinterested expression, as though he had noted the change, accepted it, and moved on. As though it were no different from learning that your favorite pair of black pants were actually navy blue. Troublesome, but just another piece of information.

Truthfully, for Shikamaru, the idea of Naruto being a girl was much less alarming than thinking the two boys wanted him for a threesome.

On her part, Naruto was alternating between extreme apprehension and an unyielding hope that someone would come along and tell her that everything was one big joke.

So, with conflicting emotions, the trio made its way to Hokage Tower while people called out to Naruto, wishing her a happy birthday. She was now their hero rather than their pariah, so the civilians actually cared about such things. Naruto had a smile and a wave for everyone, and she was careful to hide her anxiety from them. But the pasted smile slipped from her face the moment they passed through the door to the Tower.

Tsunade's young secretary informed them that the Hokage was busy with paperwork, but she still let them pass, sending a playful wink towards Naruto. Yesterday, Naruto would have grinned widely and bragged to his friends about being popular with the ladies. Today, her lips twisted feebly, unsure if the wink was something she should be proud of anymore.

When the door to the Hokage's office came into view, Naruto stopped with a frozen look on her face, sensing an extra chakra signature in the room. In that brief moment, she channeled natural energy, and the characteristic orange shading around her eyes appeared and disappeared in seconds. "No way. Kakashi-sensei's in there! There's no way I'm -"

"Kakashi was the Yondaime's student," Shikamaru argued. "If anyone knows something, he does, and since he's back in ANBU, you might not get another chance to ask him for a while."

Naruto sometimes wished Shikamaru didn't make so much damn sense. Mentally groaning, she pushed open the door to the Hokage's office.

Two heads turned toward the trio. "Ah, Naruto," said Tsunade. She wore a worried look that Naruto was just about to question when -

"Naruto has something to tell you," said Shikamaru abruptly.

"Very well," she said, eyeing the three young men curiously. They were all acting a bit odd.

"Kakashi-sensei, can you stay please?" Naruto asked quietly as the Copy-Nin turned to leave.

Now, a quiet, polite Naruto was just not normal, so the silver-haired shinobi took a long look at his student. Without warning, Kakashi leaped between Tsunade and the trio, readying himself in a fighting stance. "Who are you?" he demanded. Two eyes blazed red as the Copy-Nin activated his twin Sharingan - compliments of the late Uchiha Obito.

"Hold it!" yelled Naruto, waving her hands. "It's really me, dattebayo!"

"Yeah. It's troublesome, but this really is Naruto."

Sasuke activated his own Sharingan. "We are all who we appear to be."

The Sharingan could never be copied, and Kakashi was certain it wasn't a genjutsu, which left only one question. "Naruto," said Kakashi, "why are you in a henge?"

"Heh heh," she grinned uncomfortably, scratching her cheek. "That's the question, isn't it?"

"Enough of this!" yelled Tsunade. "What's going on? Naruto, explain."

The door to the Hokage's office opened suddenly. "Shishou, I - oh, gomenasai," said Sakura, eyeing the tense positions of her teammates. "I thought Tsunade-shishou was alone."

"It's alright, Sakura. Naruto was just about to tell us something interesting." Tsunade's tone implied that she expected the interruption to be worth it.

"I can't!" wailed Naruto. "Not with Sakura here!"

Emerald eyes narrowed at the panicked expression on Naruto's face. "I'm a part of Team Seven, too! Whatever's going on, you will tell me, Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Just get it over with," muttered Shikamaru.

"No, I - I - dammnit. Can you call Sai, too?" asked Naruto resignedly. "He's also a member of Team Seven." Naruto felt more than saw the barely imperceptible shadowing of Sasuke's aura. The two dark-haired shinobis did not get along. When Sasuke had first returned, Naruto had made the mistake of thinking that, since they were so much alike, they might hit it off. How wrong she was. Naruto couldn't remember ever being so uncomfortable at her favorite ramen stand as she was that night.

"Sai is on a mission," said Tsunade shortly.

The chilled atmosphere warmed, and Naruto didn't have to look at Sasuke to know that he was wearing a smirk. The avenger and Sai had developed a rivalry of sorts but without the undertone of friendship present in Sasuke and Naruto's rivalry. No, the two boys, Sasuke in particular, enjoyed being one up.

Naruto frowned. She would have to go see Sai as soon as he got back; it wasn't right for him to be the only one left out.

"Naruto!" Tsunade slammed a thankfully-not-chakra-enhanced fist on her brand new desk to get his attention. "I have important matters to attend to! Get on with it!"

"Um, well, the thing is -" She trailed off. _Kami, just how do you explain something like this?! _"Well, so today is my eighteenth birthday, right?"

"Right." Did the boy want to ask for a birthday present? Surely he wouldn't be this nervous asking for something so simple. "Happy birthday, Naruto."

"Uh, thanks." Naruto glanced at Sasuke, something not lost on Tsunade or Kakashi.

_My god_, thought Tsunade. _His eighteenth birthday. He is a legal adult now. Does that mean he and the Uchiha - but then, why is Shikamaru here?_

_Yipee! _thought a delighted Kakashi. _Now I'll have prime material for my Icha Icha yaoi edition! _Authorship of the series had passed to him after Jiraiya's death at the Toad Sage's express wish. _But wait. That doesn't explain the henge._

"Um, so you know these attacks I've been having?"

Tsunade and Kakashi straightened, all ecchi thoughts suddenly forgotten, while Sakura narrowed her eyes in worry.

"Well, see, I found this seal on my body. It was created by the Yondaime -" And off Naruto went with her story. Once she started, she wasn't able to stop, even when the faces of the Hokage and her sensei darkened with worry and anger. She told them how the attacks had been progressing, about her clones' research, when she realized the seal was using natural energy -

Tsunade was unable to keep silent any longer. "YOU FOUND A SEAL ON YOUR BODY THAT USED NATURAL ENERGY FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT PURPOSE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY?!"

"That's what I said," murmured Sasuke, so softly that no one but Shikamaru heard.

"Naruto! We can't know it was your father's work! We must take you to -"

"It was the Yondaime's seal! Geezer-Sage said so!"

Tsunade halted her rant. Fukasaku-dono was knowledgeable and wise, and more importantly, he had trained her predecessor for some time. If he believed the seal to be the Yondaime's, then it almost certainly was. "Hah," she sighed in exasperation. "Fine, but we should still take you to see a sealmaster -"

"Today is my eighteenth birthday," she repeated. "The seal had a time limit. It's gone."

Tsunade's eyes widened. "Then, what was it for? Have you noticed any differences?"

"Ah, yeah. That's just it." Naruto's anxiety was back in full force, and both Tsunade and Kakashi felt it like a physical blow. "Um -" she hesitated.

"Just do it," said Sasuke in false boredom.

Naruto nodded and lifted her hands to release the henge. "Um, so, it looks like I'm a girl," she said with an awkward grin.

The Hokage and Kakashi's faces were almost mirror images in their shock. Sakura outright shrieked. Where the vibrant young man they had known for years had stood was a young woman with long blonde hair worn loose at her sides. She was small, shorter than Sakura, but not quite petite. Her face was narrower, her chin less rounded, but her eyes were the same deep cerulean, piercing them with an expression that willed them to believe her.

It was Shikamaru's presence that convinced them that they weren't being pranked. He would find it too troublesome, especially on the day after his mission, and he was looking at them steadily, his eyes telling them what his mouth was too lazy to say.

"My god," breathed Tsunade.

"N-naruto?" asked Sakura uncertainly, stepping towards the girl.

"You've always been the Number One Most Surprising Shinobi," said Kakashi with smiling eyes.

"That's all you have to say?" roared the suddenly animated Naruto.

"Well -"

"You were the student of the Yondaime, so you must know something about this! I want an explanation!"

"Um," said Kakashi, rifling through distant memories, "There was a rumor going around that sensei was having a girl."

"So you knew!" she accused hotly.

"No, Minato-sensei told me that Kushina-san was pregnant and that they had decided to let your gender be a surprise."

"Then what about this rumor?"

"Just the normal gossip of nosy women."

"I'm surprised the villagers were told at all," drawled the lazy Shikamaru. "Seems like a tactical error, considering the Yondaime's enemies."

"Well, people tried to keep it quiet, but it's hard to miss when the Hokage's wife is pregnant, especially with Kushina-san escaping her ANBU guards to go for ramen." Kakashi said this a bit sorely, leaving the other shinobis with the distinct impression that he had been one of those guards.

Sakura laughed nervously. "At least we know where he - um, whoops, _she_ - gets it."

"Yes, Naruto has always been very much like his - er, _her_ -"

"What else, Hatake?" interrupted Naruto irately. "I want to know absolutely everything you know."

"That would take quite some -"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

The silver-haired shinobi raised up his hands in defeat. "I really don't know anything but what Minato-sensei told me, and he said that they didn't know if you were a boy or a girl. He did start acting a bit...strange after the Tanabata festival that year though."

"Strange how?"

"Er, you could almost say he was _broody_. Sometimes he would stare off into space, and he had this - this look on his face, like he was worried or calculating but always determined. I asked Kushina-san about him, and she got this annoyed but half amused expression. I assumed they'd had another fight."

Naruto was alarmed. "Did they fight a lot?"

"Not in a bad way," he assured Naruto, trying not to snicker. "Just - well, let's just say that Kushina-san had _severe_ mood swings while she was pregnant. She was something of a terror."

It was Tsunade's turn to grin. "I was in Minato's office once discussing med-nin training regimen, and Kushina stormed in yelling about paint and good-for-nothing husbands. You should have seen the look in Minato's eyes!" Tsunade outright laughed. "Seems he had used Hiraishin to escape her when she was in temper. That girl was good for Minato. Kept him on his toes," she added fondly.

"That must have been when they were deciding the color for Naruto's room," said Kakashi with a smile. "I helped paint it."

Normally, Naruto would love hearing stories about her parents, but today, she was on a mission. "Anything else?" she asked her sensei.

Kakashi sobered. "After the Kyuubi attack, I asked about you. The Sandaime just handed me your birth certificate. _Stillborn female_, it said. I didn't think to question it. Of course, when I first saw Naruto years later, I knew he was sensei's son. I assumed the Sandaime wanted people to believe the child was a girl as additional protection for Naruto."

Naruto turned a hopeful gaze to the Hokage, but the older woman shook her head. "My predecessor said nothing about this. He left no letter or explanation."

The blonde slumped, and her blue-eyes turned downwards in growing despair. If she just _knew_, if there were some logical explanation for this madness, then maybe - just maybe - she would be able to accept this life-altering change.

Sensing her mood, Kakashi stepped towards the downcast girl and lifted her chin with his hand. Serious dark eyes studied the face of their student. "You look even more like Minato-sensei now," he commented softly. "As a boy, you had your mother's features, but these are definitely sensei's chin and nose."

"So you're saying I look like a boy?" she tried to laugh. How ironic.

"Not at all. In fact, you are quite pretty."

Naruto flushed, not quite sure how to feel about the compliment. As a boy, Naruto's first instinct would have been to slap away Kakashi's hand and exclaim angrily. But Naruto was a girl now, so she should be happy not to be ugly. Right? Kami, what exactly was she supposed to _feel_ anymore?

"Though I'm guessing you still have your mother's personality?" Kakashi added.

Naruto's lips turned upwards in a small smile. "Damn right, I do. Dattebayo!"

"Then it's nice to meet you, Naruto-_chan_." Kakashi ruffled her hair and stepped away with smiling eyes, satisfied that his student would adapt in time.

"The files," Shikamaru reminded Naruto with a pointed cough.

"Right, the files!" she exclaimed, suddenly excited again. "Obaa-chan, can we see any super secret stuff that the Yondaime wrote? Or that oji-san wrote after I was born? There might be something -"

"Naruto, I have read everything - and I do mean _everything_ - to do with you and the Kyuubi all the way back to the Shodai Hokage's notes about his wife, my grandmother, when she was the jinchuriki. I promise you that there isn't the slightest mention of any possible Kyuubi-related reason for the Yondaime to turn you into a boy. Except -" Her brows knitted in concentration "- the only time the seal would be weakened is during childbirth, but he gave the seal a time limit. He can't possibly have thought you would give birth before you were eighteen -" She trailed off in renewed confusion.

Kakashi agreed, "That doesn't make sense, and it doesn't sound like something sensei would do."

"Then I'm back to square one. With nothing, absolutely nothing." Naruto agitatedly tugged on her long hair while the other shinobis watched, wishing they could give her an explanation.

Sakura tried to distract her. "So, um, Naruto. Why is your hair long?"

Five pairs of eyes stared at the pink-haired shinobi.

"What? I'm curious. I don't see why her hair would suddenly grow -"

"Probably because it was living seal," said Naruto, receiving blank looks in response. Only Kakashi and Tsunade knew what she meant. "A living seal takes into account the caster's will and modifies stuff based on that will. Most seals have just one use, like storing weapons or something, but a living seal can change over time according to the caster's intention. I'll bet the seal's final act was to use natural energy to make my hair grow. Just another small transformation." Naruto gave her hair a long look. "My dad loved my mom's hair. Maybe he thought mine would be pretty, too. My parents -" she mused softly before suddenly yelling, "Dammnit! I met them! My own freaking parents didn't tell me when I met them!"

"How would you have reacted if someone you'd never met before claimed to be your mother or father then told you that you were a girl?" Sakura reasoned.

"I - I would think they were insane."

"Exactly, and then you would probably attack them. Your parents had things to say to you and a limited time to do it. Of course, they wouldn't waste time telling you about - _this_."

Naruto muttered darkly, "Hardly a waste of time."

Tsunade cleared her throat. "I think we have to assume that the seal was merely another method of protecting you. Unless he had some personal reason -" She paused and considered her words. "Personal," she mused.

"What is it, obaa-chan?"

The Slug Princess glanced over the shinobis before her sharp gaze settled on the Uchiha. _It's not an S-rank secret or anything, just something I'd prefer the Uchiha didn't - No! Dammnit! I said I'd trust him. Even in light of recent events. _"There is a room that few people, only some council members and elite shinobi, know about. We call it the Hovel."

"Doesn't sound like much," noted Shikamaru dryly.

"It contains many personal items, such as high-level jutsu scrolls and specialized weapons, of the previous Hokages. Items too precious or dangerous to be entrusted to rank shinobis." She smiled at how round Naruto's eyes had become, as though she'd struck gold. "The Monkey summoning scroll, which I have to remember to give to Konohamaru soon, and the Adamantine Staff are two of the Sandaime's possessions that he left in the care of his successor. The Yondaime had a stash as well, just a small one, mind you. Don't get too hopeful, but who knows? It's possible there will be an explanation there."

Naruto wore a dreamlike expression, just imagining the awesome jutsus her dad must have left. "Well, what are we waiting for?!"

"_We_ aren't going anywhere. _You_ will proceed to the hospital -"

"What! No way! Not when -"

"The Hovel is enclosed in a powerful seal created by the Shodai and perfected by the Yondaime. Anyone without the Hokage markings -" Tsunade patted her shoulder "- will be burnt to a crisp, sliced to ribbons, electrocuted, drowned, and buried under ten tons of rock. All at once."

Silence was a beautiful thing.

As usual, Naruto was the first to break it. "Still better than the hospital! I can't go there! Those med-nins will sense the henge -"

"It's not like you can hide it forever," said Sakura, who was finally wrapping her mind around Naruto's gender bender and coming to accept it.

Naruto was about to retort when an awestruck expression crossed her face. "Why didn't I think of it before? I can recreate the seal! Turn myself back into a boy!"

"Absolutely not," ordered the Hokage, silencing Naruto's protests with a glare. "Even if you managed to figure out how to make the seal, the fact is that you are a girl. Remaining as a boy any longer might have some negative effect on your health, and on that note, how are you feeling? Any strange aches or pains?"

"It's only been a few hours since I woke up, but no, I feel fine. Great even, except for this extra weight on my -"

Shikamaru cleared his throat. Naruto rolled her eyes. Sakura took a better look at Naruto's chest and was shocked and mildly displeased to see that it was larger than her own.

"Sakura, I want you to get another blood sample and cheek swab from Naruto. Did you freeze the cells from a week ago?"

"Hai, shishou."

"Genotype both samples."

"What's all this for, obaa-chan?"

"I want to know if the seal altered your very DNA or merely your outward appearance."

"Eh?"

"During development, girls and boys release different enzymes and hormones that direct the body's growth and also influence the mental state. In your case, you had every reason to believe you were a boy, so your conscious mind adopted the mannerisms and socially accepted roles of a boy. However, it's quite possible that your DNA and hormone levels were those of a girl, and thus your subconscious processes were always female. For your sake, I hope it's the latter. It will make your transition that much easier, but regardless, from a medical perspective, you are a fascinating case."

Naruto's skin had taken on a sickly sheen. "You sound like Orochimaru," she mumbled.

Tsunade blanched.

"Ah, gomenasai, obaa-chan," Naruto apologized hurriedly, though she thought the Hokage's reaction a bit extreme. "I don't really think you're like the snake bastard."

For a long moment, the Godaime looked like she wanted to say something, as though it were on the tip of her tongue and only indecision held it back.

Blue eyes narrowed. Obaa-chan was never one to hesitate. "What's going on?" Naruto demanded. "Is it whatever Kakashi-sensei was telling you before we came? I know it was! I could feel -"

"Orochimaru is alive."

Naruto stopped cold, and Sasuke's neutral expression deepened into a frown. Sakura gasped. Shikamaru catalogued the information away as though it were a rather foul move on the shogi board.

"I -" Naruto began, "I thought we killed him! After we took down Madara, the alliance went after him -"

"It might be impossible to kill him entirely," Sasuke interrupted. "The Cursed Seal of Heaven implants bits of his chakra into anyone who survives its application. All it would take is a shinobi who knew about the seal to revive -"

"As you did last time," Tsunade interrupted.

Sasuke clenched his jaw and nodded.

The Hokage gave him a hard look. "It seems that we didn't kill him in the slightest after the war. The Raikage believes we were fooled by a clever clone."

"Probably a snake that he genetically altered with his own DNA."

"Orochimaru is sure to attack Konoha. We will depend on your knowledge, Uchiha."

He nodded and said stiffly, "I have held nothing back."

Tsunade's cold stare softened imperceptibly. "Be that as it may, I'm afraid you will fall under further suspicion. You must remain within the borders of Konoha until -

"That's not fair!" yelled Naruto, unable to keep quiet. "He even killed -

"Naruto!" yelled Tsunade, slamming her fist on her new desk. "Do not let friendship blind you to the facts! Uchiha Sasuke abandoned his village and his friends to ally with Orochimaru. True, he killed the snake, but months later, Uchiha revived him and allied with him once again. For a brief period of time," she added.

"A really brief period!" shouted an enraged Naruto.

"The rest of the shinobi world will see it without your bias, and the situation gets worse."

"Worse?"

Tsunade exhaled forcefully. "Orochimaru has the Rinnegan."

... ... ...

" - so yeah, I'm a girl. I have boobs, and I can't go after the stupid snake because we don't bloody know where he is!"

That evening, Naruto stood before the toads of Mount Myoboku, whose expressions varied from outright shock to amusement, and told her tale beginning from the moment she had left them the previous day. Gamabunta's pipe had actually fallen from his mouth, but Geezer-Sage was hiding a smile behind one of his flippers.

"Oh and now everyone's going to hate Sasuke again because the stupid snake has the stupid Rinnegan, which as everyone knows is the final form of the stupid Sharingan, so of course Orochima-fucking-ru must have had help from a stupid Uchiha to get it!" Naruto's sides heaved.

"Er," said Gamabunta uncertainly, "maybe we should pass on the drinking until -"

"No way," snapped Naruto, blue eyes flashing, "Never in my life have I wanted to get more wasted than right now. Bring on the sake!"

* * *

**Okay, so I hope I've set up the story to your liking and haven't been too redundant with the whole 'wtf, he's a girl!' thing. Next chapter will give an explanation for the gender bender, some MinatoXKushina, and some cool seal stuff. ^_^**

**Notes: (1.) Now that Kakashi has two Sharingan, he can deactivate them and return to having normal Uchiha black eyes. (2.) I have a logical idea as of manga chapter 606 for Orochimaru to obtain the Rinnegan. He's an old enemy, but I wanted him to have some new tricks.**

**Please review!**


	4. Unfortunate Encounter

**Merry Christmas!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Unfortunate Encounter

Headache.

Naruto never knew a true headache until that moment. It was horrible - a fuzzy and simultaneous stabbing sensation as though someone were suffocating her brain with a kunai-lined pillow. All she wanted to do was sink back into the blissful darkness of sleep, but the more she tried to force herself to sleep, the more quickly she awakened. Naruto shifted and felt the grassy floor beneath her. Upon opening her eyes, the colors of Mount Myoboku blurred together in an swirling cacophony of awfulness.

Naruto moaned, and moments later, a large orange toad hopped into her field of vision. Never before had Naruto wished that orange weren't so bright, but at the moment, she was all set to wish the color out of existence.

"Wuh-ter," she whispered hoarsely. Moments later, the lip of a wooden cup was pressed to her mouth. Naruto sucked eagerly on the liquid, but her mouth was so dry she could barely swallow. She ended up choking and spitting out more water than she managed to drink.

_Kami, this headache is awful._ _Fuzzball, why aren't you healing me? Kurama? _When she received no response, Naruto entered her mindscape and found that her incorporeal body felt the effects of the alcohol much less strongly. She could even move without wanting to kill herself, and move she did. What was once a sewer-like basement was now a forest, and instead of having to slosh through water, Naruto trod on a grassy floor. She walked through the forest to the lake where the demon fox liked to sleep. Sure enough, there he was, curled into a ball with his head resting on his paws._ Kurama?_

One large red opened and tried to focus on Naruto. **_I'm going to kill you,_**he said shortly, but his words were somehow...muddled.

_How come? _

The Kyuubi tried to stand up to swipe an angry paw at Naruto, but the fox teetered on its legs and fell over. In resignation, Kurama closed his eyes and curled up miserably. **_Alcohol affects your chakra coils - and by extension, me - as well._**

_No way. You got trashed, too? _Naruto would have laughed until her sides hurt, but even the thought of laughing made her head pound.

**_I was challenged and insulted in the same sentence. I refused to be beaten by an ill-mannered _****toad****_. _**Kurama said the last word as though it were a piece of scum stuck to his paw. **_And you were quite eager yourself, so eager that you starting pouring the drinks once Gamabunta became too unsteady. You, Naruto, are what they call a guzzler._**

_Geez. That bad, huh? Why didn't you tell me to stop?_

**_I tried. Your response was 'Kuuuu-baka-rama no baka baka baaaaakaaaaaaaa. Don't be such a baka baby fox.' When you weren't yelling about your breasts or lack of other parts, your favorite words were 'baka,' 'snake shit,' and 'Uchiha fuckers.'_**

_I've got a very dirty drunk mouth, don't I? _Try as she might, Naruto couldn't remember anything after Gamabunta had toppled over.

**_Indeed, and now I've got this monstrous headache... I'm going back to sleep. When I awaken, I will teach you the consequences of pissing off the greatest of the nine bijuu._**

Naruto pulled out of her mindscape before Kurama could come up with more creative threats. She was thankful that the demon fox would have to stop short of killing her, but if Kurama had as bad a headache as Naruto then she deserved whatever punishment the fox meted out.

"You all right, Naruto?" asked Gamakichi when he saw her eyes open again.

"I feel like crap."

"Yeah, I kinda expected you to sleep all day, but I guess you've got the fox to help out. Man, pop'll be ticked when he wakes up with you already up and gone."

"Heheh, he should know never to challenge a jinchuriki." The only, absolutely only, good thing about this morning was emerging from her first drinking bash victorious. She would brag about it once the world stopped spinning. "Can I have some more water?" she asked blearily.

Gamakichi lifted the same wooden cup to her lips. Strange. The water was refreshing but at the same time...wrong. It tasted weird. Well, her whole mouth felt funny, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that her sense of taste was off. As long as ramen stayed the same, everything else would be fine.

Glancing around to see just where she was lying, Naruto noticed a peculiar change in the landscape. Off to the right, there was a large patch of crushed giant mushrooms and broken leaves. "What happened over there?"

"You happened," Gamakichi replied shortly. "Fukasaku-oji-san is pissed but mostly at pops, not you."

"Serves him right," she said in an unforgiving mood. "He wouldn't stop pouring me drinks."

"Which you kept drinking."

Naruto massaged her brow in an attempt to stave off the headache. "Yeah, I had a lot on my mind. How does obaa-chan do this every day?"

Gamakichi snorted, "Even _she_ could never drink as much as you did last night, and _you_ outdid three of the great toads."

Naruto twisted her lips into a semblance of a grin. "Where is everybody?"

"They're sleeping. You kept every toad on the mountain awake with your god-awful singing. Erm, excuse me, _serenading_."

"Eh?"

"You kept insisting that you weren't singing, you were _serenading_ us to sleep, and you wouldn't stop no matter how much we told you to shut up."

"What did I sing?" she asked, morbidly curious.

"Something about snake shit and Uchiha fuckers. Don't tell m'pop I repeated those words...once he could hop again, he'd have my froggy behind doing hopping jacks for the rest of my life."

"Your secret is safe with me," said Naruto, closing her eyes and wishing for the ever elusive world of dreams and oblivion.

"Erm," said Gamakichi, seeing that she was about to go back to sleep, "I'm supposed to take you back when you wake up, and you're awake, so -"

"That means I have to move," she groaned. Even lying still, it felt like the world was spinning, but she didn't protest when Gamakichi extended his long, pink tongue. Warm and moist, the tongue wrapped around Naruto firmly, lifted her off the ground, and drew her towards Gamakichi's open mouth. _Bleh_, she thought, grimacing_, I thought I'd gotten used to this. _It wasn't like the toad was slobbery or anything, but still, it made her feel a little queasy...oh wait, that was nausea from her hangover.

She was stored in the glorious darkness of Gamakichi's mouth when Naruto muttered, "M'stomach feels weird."

"Ip oo bomit in my bouf, I will bweak ow contwact." His voice sounded garbled since he was speaking with a human on his tongue.

While Naruto turned her thoughts away from the tightness in her stomach, the giant toad hopped with his passenger to the portal well connected to Konoha and roused one of the grumpy messenger toads. The much smaller green toad disappeared down the well while Naruto contemplated just how upset Gamakichi would be if she did, in fact, lose control of her stomach.

Thankfully, only a few minutes later, Naruto felt the familiar tug on her body - not an unpleasant pull, just a strange feeling around her navel - that signified she was pulled into a space-time jutsu. Then, Gamakichi's loud voice sounded in Naruto's ears. "Er, the Uchiha is here, and he looks angry."

Naruto groaned as Gamakichi opened his mouth and extended his tongue with her wrapped in it. Dreading the bright light that would hit her eyes and intensify her headache, Naruto waited several long moments before opening her eyes. When she did, they fell upon the dark-haired shinobi, and Naruto realized that Gamakichi was wrong.

Sasuke wasn't angry. Sasuke was _livid_.

"Where. Have. You. Been?" he hissed.

Naruto struggled to stand while she looked longingly at her apartment complex, imagining her bed inside of it. "Heh, teme, it seems pretty obvious -"

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"Could you not speak so loudly," whispered Naruto hoarsely, covering her ears as she leaned against Gamakichi for support.

"You have been missing for more than twenty hours!"

Sure enough the sun was high in the sky. It was afternoon in Konoha. "Geez, teme, were you so worried about me that -"

"Che," he scoffed derisively. "More like I didn't want to answer a bunch of stupid questions from the interrogation squad. I _was _the last to see you, you know. They suspected me of knocking you out and shipping you off to see Orochimaru."

Naruto paused. "Those _would_ be stupid questions seeing as how there's no way in hell you could beat me."

Sasuke would have retorted angrily, but an ANBU wearing a bird mask appeared before them in a whirlwind of leaves. Biting his tongue to keep from shouting at the infuriating blonde, Sasuke turned to the ANBU and said, "Inform Hokage-sama that Uzumaki Naruto is safe."

"Very well. Hokage-sama will expect to see Naruto-sama in...an hour," Bird said, taking in Naruto's hungover appearance. "You should clean her up first."

The ANBU vanished before Sasuke could protest. Why was it his job?!

Gamakichi cleared his throat, "Erm, well then, I guess I'll leave you with the Uchiha. Bye-bye, Naruto." He disappeared in a poof, and with the sudden loss of support, Naruto fell to the ground, cursing every giant toad she had ever met.

Sasuke eyed the miserable blonde who lay where she'd fallen groaning and making no attempt to stand. "Get up," Sasuke ordered without pity.

"Can't," came the muffled response.

"The Hokage expects you in one hour."

"Wanna sleep." And drink water. Lots of water.

"No time." Sasuke nudged her with his foot. Naruto only groaned in irritation. Sasuke nudged harder to no avail. With a dear-god-why-me sigh, Sasuke bent down and pulled Naruto's face towards him. He would put the girl under a genjutsu, just a small one. Enough to make her forget that she was hungover. Enough to get her moving without resistance. When Naruto's face was directly in front of his, he waited for her eyes to open, and they did, slowly and miserably. So miserably, in fact, that she looked almost...sick. Her face was pinched tightly, and she was clutching her stomach as though she might -

Naruto belched. Loudly.

Sasuke's face contorted in disgust, which soon morphed into murderous fury.

"Oh," Naruto said in surprise, "that tightness in my stomach was just - ack!"

Sasuke grabbed the blonde by her orange jacket and, barely taking aim, threw her towards the open window of her apartment. She sailed through it and hit her bedroom wall with a thud. Following her trajectory, Sasuke leaped into Naruto's room and found the girl crumpled in a disoriented heap on the floor.

"Teme, I'm gonna kill you for that...once I can stand." But that would have to wait because Naruto was crawling slowly to her bed. Sleep. She must have sleep. And peace and quiet. And darkness. Kami, she wished it were nighttime. Naruto had only just made it to her bed when she felt herself lifted off the floor.

Sasuke was carrying her, not princess-style, but holding her away from his body as far as he could manage. Naruto knew it was pointless to fight him in her current state, so she gathered her hungover wits to get her revenge in a different way.

When Sasuke had grabbed her the first time, more than her jacket had been rearranged. "Urg," she said, tugging at the material on her chest and making an exaggerated show of it. "This stupid bra Sakura gave me itches, and it's too small. Heheh, when I told her that, her face twitched. I bet she would've punched me through a wall if she weren't worried about my health. I really can't help it, you know? It's not my fault that my boobs are so much bigger -"

In response to the blonde's jabbering, Sasuke dropped Naruto fully-clothed into the shower and turned on the icy cold water.

"Yikes! Damn you, teme!" Inwardly, she was laughing at the expression on Sasuke's face. It was a pale, pinched look as though he were trying to ignore her, be angry, and not blush all at once.

"It's your own damn fault." Sasuke slammed the bathroom door on his way out. He had every right to be angry. That burp was disgusting, and Sasuke had gotten a face full of it. Plus, he hadn't slept in more than forty eight hours, courtesy of an idiotic boy-turned-girl who disappeared for hours on end to get wasted with toads. Even worse was Sasuke's reaction to her disappearance. There wasn't a leaf in Konoha he hadn't overturned in his search for her, and when he'd alerted the Hokage, her eyes had mirrored Sasuke's fear - the fear that Orochimaru had spirited the young jinchuriki away. If he had the Rinnegan, it stood to reason he might seek to control the bijuu as Madara had done only two years before.

Tsunade had called for the best tracker ANBUs who pinpointed Naruto's last known location to her apartment. Then there was no trace of her. As it was highly unlikely that even Orochimaru could kidnap the jinchuriki so stealthily, the prevailing theory was that Naruto had, in fact, been reverse summoned by the toads, but when Tsunade tried to contact them, her message was never answered.

_They were probably all dead drunk by that point_, growled Sasuke inwardly.

Since they had no proof of foul play and no trail to follow, they chose to go with protocol and wait the requisite forty eight hours before declaring her missing. It had been a long and restless night for Sasuke, and the following morning was worse when there was still no sign of the blonde. Then, when he had seen the small, green toad hopping toward Naruto's apartment and when Naruto herself had appeared, the relief he had felt was overwhelming. So much so that he had masked his relief with anger. In many ways, it was a much easier emotion to deal with.

With these thoughts running through his mind, Sasuke threw some clothes in the bathroom. "Put these on once your done. I swear if you come out of there undressed, I will electrocute you." He might do it anyways.

Once she'd gotten over the shock of cold water, Naruto lay in the shower, letting the water spray down on her. When she opened her mouth, the water pooled in it and ran down the sides of her cheeks, soothing the stinging dryness. For some time, she marinated in the cool relief the water brought. She might have even fallen asleep, but far too quickly, a loud knock sounded on the bathroom door.

"You've been in there more than half an hour. Get out."

Stupid teme. She only wanted a few more minutes -

Sasuke banged on the door loudly, which did not help Naruto's headache.

"All right already," she complained, loud enough for Sasuke to hear. The banging ceased, and Naruto turned off the water. The sooner she saw Tsunade, the sooner she could come back here to sleep. Minutes later, Naruto stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed in a black shirt and baggy orange pants.

Something inside Sasuke lurched unexpectedly.

Her normally sunshine hair was dark and mussed from the shower. It hung wet at her sides, water droplets slipping off the long strands one by one. Her lids were heavy, but the startling blue of her eyes peaked out from under them. The too-large clothes made her appear smaller by comparison, and as she rubbed her sleepy eyes, a yawn broke from her mouth. Wet and sleepy as she was, something about Naruto was...unbearably cute.

With a start, Sasuke jerked himself from the inexplicable reverie. To distract himself, he snapped at the blonde, "Do something with all this hair!"

Instead Naruto walked to her bed and flopped on it. "Too tired. You do it."

She was pouting. Naruto was pouting. Did she purposefully poke out her lower lip, knowing that it made Sasuke want to -

_What - what the hell?! _he roared at himself, stopping that thought in its tracks. With a furious swipe of his hand, Sasuke grabbed trip cord from his weapons pouch on his pants. He moved towards Naruto with decisive steps, determined to banish whatever strange impulse had polluted his mind. After cutting a short length of the cord with a kunai, he reached for her hair and bundled it tightly in his fist. He wrapped the wire around her hair and tied it in an intricate knot that Naruto would find impossible to untie. He flipped her prone body and did the same to the other side.

There. He surveyed his work. They were crooked and messy, but they were ponytails. And he had no desire to continue stroking her hair. That was just some random, one-time phenomenon. He had proven it to himself. With a satisfied nod, he reached for the mattress of Naruto's bed and flipped it, throwing Naruto with a howl to the floor.

"Get up," Sasuke said brusquely. "It's time to see the Hokage."

... ... ...

Tsunade sucker punched the blonde, and Naruto flew backwards into the wall of the office - at the approval of Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi.

Naruto groaned, "That's twice in one day." What exactly made them want to throw the hungover girl into a wall? Did they enjoy seeing her in pain? Were they sadists?

"The next time you disappear," said Tsunade firmly, "I will sentence you to three months of D-rank missions."

Yep. Sadists.

"I was with the toads," protested Naruto weakly from the floor. Can't a girl get drunk with her summons without retribution?

"Yet you failed to mention that you, our jinchuriki and future Hokage, would be away for an extended period of time while a powerful enemy of Konoha was on the loose."

"Eh, gomenasai," said Naruto more humbly. "I thought I mentioned it once a while back." And then she had completely forgotten to tell anyone yesterday. In her defense, there had been plenty else to occupy her mind.

"Don't let it happen again." Once Tsunade was convinced that Naruto was properly castigated, she smirked. "So how was it? You look like hell."

"I beat Gamabunta. But he said I was cheating, what with Kyuubi and all speeding up my metabolism or whatever. I still beat him, though, and Gamaken who passed out 'ungracefully' first and Gamahiro who might've beat Bunta if Bunta hadn't whacked him over the head with his pipe. Seems me and Bunta got into a fight after that and, er, did some...remodeling."

"I don't whether to be horrified or proud of you. Either way, here's your birthday present from me." Tsunade reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a clear bottle of nasty looking green goop.

"Ah, what's that, obaa-chan?" she asked uneasily.

"This is my secret to success. It's the ultimate hangover remedy."

"Does it taste as awful as it looks?"

"Yes, but the bad taste goes away more quickly than your headache."

"Good point. Well," Naruto said, taking the vile concoction, "bottoms up." She gagged only once before swallowing the entire contents of the bottle. "Gah. Bleh! Geez, how do you make something this awful?"

"Your words are already less muddled. It's amazingly effective, isn't it?"

The room came into focus as her headache dimmed. Naruto suddenly realized that she had been leaning on the desk for support and straightened. "Wow, this stuff's amazing!"

"Of course it is. I made it," said Tsunade. "Sake and this remedy help me get through all the damn paperwork, and when I go out drinking with the council members, they never can figure out how I'm back to normal the next day. Oh, how I love seeing them with god-awful hangovers!"

While Tsunade laughed, the other shinobis eyed her uncertainly, and Naruto learned another effective method for dealing with the council. After Tsunade quieted, she said, "Maybe we can have a match next time, Naruto." Wouldn't that be something? To beat the Kyuubi would be quite the feather in her cap.

"As long as I get more of that stuff -" Naruto indicated the hangover remedy "- then you're on!"

Tsunade smiled in challenge. "I look forward to it."

"Ahem," coughed Sakura indiscreetly. "Shishou, didn't you have a reason for calling Naruto here?"

"Of course. Naruto," said Tsunade, suddenly business-like, "I went through your father's possessions in the Hovel last night and -" She picked up a book on her desk "- I found something that might interest you. It appears to be a journal."

Naruto's ready grin had slipped back into place as soon as she drank Tsunade's remedy. But now, the grin faltered as her attention riveted on the journal.

With a trembling hand, Naruto reached out and took the little book. The cover was a cool leather that was dyed dark green. A single leaf was etched into its spine, marking the journal as 'made in Konoha.' Naruto imagined that many such journals could be found in the market, but this one was special. She held the journal as though it were a sacred artifact. Her father's journal. _Her father's _thoughts and memories in her hands. A quivering thumb reached around the cover to open the -

The moment she applied pressure, inked lines appeared, seeming to draw themselves on the dark green leather. The lines connected and formed a defined figure. It was no ordinary picture. It was a seal.

Tsunade nodded at the journal, "I called Kakashi here to take a look at that seal, but he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. You'll have to take it to the Intelligence Division. Ask for the seal specialist named Hideki -"

Naruto barely listened to Tsunade's instructions. Her sole focus was the little book in her hands. Glowing a soft blue, the seal was made of four whirlpools, one in each corner, surrounding a central pentagram. Studying the seal carefully, Naruto traced the outline of the pentagram - a five-pointed star enclosed by a circle. Ordinarily, it would signify the five elements were used in the seal, so ordinarily, it would take the five elements to undo the seal. Her gaze moved to the whirlpools. They were her father's signature according to Geezer-Sage, but in this case...

Tsunade was still speaking. "- is one of the Yondaime's seals, of course, so it may be several days, even weeks, before it's cracked. Tell Hideki to make this a top priority."

"No need for that," Naruto murmured absentmindedly. She raised one finger, which lit with blue chakra, and placed it on the top right point of the star - the traditional location for wind. With a small smile, Naruto glanced again at the whirlpools. Clockwise, it would be. The points of the star rotated as Naruto dragged her finger around the circle. Grinning in triumph, she gave a final quick swipe of her finger.

The star kept spinning faster and faster until -

_Click. _

The seal unlocked.

Naruto barely noticed the Hokage's jaw dropping in surprise. Kakashi had managed to keep his mouth closed, but his eyes bugged.

Staring at the now-open journal, Kakashi stammered, "How - how did you do that?"

"Hm? Oh, the whirlpools each ended in a different place. See?" Naruto pointed to the four whirlpools. "That's kinda weird if the whirlpools were there as only a signature. But if you draw a straight line from the center of each whirlpool to its end and mentally extend the line across the cover, then the four lines intersect at the location on the pentagram for wind."

"So - so you put your elemental chakra into -"

"No, just normal chakra."

"What? The pentagram signifies elemental chakra -

"That was a feint. The first key was wind's position on the pentagram, but if I had used the wind element, I bet I would have triggered another seal as a defensive mechanism."

"How could know that?" Kakashi demanded. "And you knew that you had to spin it, as well. How?"

Naruto tilted her head in thought. "I guess it was more instinct than anything else. Usually, with a lock-and-key seal like this you base your seals off of something you know. Something you're familiar with, so you will never forget how to unlock them. My father's signature jutsu, the Rasengan, is the most advanced shape manipulation jutsu that exists, but he was never able to combine it with an element." Naruto shrugged, "So I didn't add elemental chakra. The second and final key was -" She mimicked the tracing of the circle - "rotation."

Tsunade studied the seal once more. "But," she protested, "the whirlpools spin counter-clockwise, and you definitely turned the pentagram clockwise so -"

"That was the second trick. Rasengan is created when multiple chakra currents are forced in opposing directions. So I spun the star in the opposite direction of the whirlpools." Naruto nodded in satisfaction. "Two keys and two feints, a four-layered seal. Not bad for the old man, but he was no match for an Uzumaki! Ha ha ha!" Naruto put her hands on her hips and laughed in triumph while the other shinobis watched her in amazement.

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto had never been an idiot. Sure, her Academy grades were horrendous, but she had had little help from her teachers back then. They even sabotaged her education here and there, when they could get away with it, but years later in battle, she had shown that she was more than just a chakra powerhouse. It was her mental prowess that defeated several of the Paths of Pain, and it was remarkably quick thinking that turned the Juubi's strength into its greatest weakness.

Still, she had never shown such a natural aptitude for anything in her life as she did for seal work. She might just become a master of fuinjutsu, Tsunade realized. The first in Konoha since Jiraiya had died. But even Jiraiya would have needed some time to analyze the seal whereas Naruto had simply acted on instinct. That could be considered reckless impulsiveness...or genius.

Naruto flipped through the journal. Her father's script was neat and well-formed, unlike Naruto's own chicken scratch. There weren't entries written everyday; sometimes there were gaps of several months between entries, sometimes several in a single week. Later, Naruto would read each of them. Later, when she was alone without distractions. But for now, she needed to know why her father had turned her into a boy. Naruto saw several mentions of the Third Shinobi War and flipped forward.

Many pages later, her blue eyes caught sight of one word that had her glued to the page - _pregnant_. Naruto began to read.

... ... ...

_April 2, XXX_

_Kushina's pregnant! I can't believe it! We're having a baby! I'm going to be a father! A father! Me! Kushina was so happy when she told me, glowing and bouncing around in excitement (the bouncing may not be good for the baby - I'll have to ask). She couldn't stop smiling and laughing for hours, and when she finally did stop it was only because she was having trouble swallowing her food. I confess to having difficulty eating as well. _

_This baby really is a miracle, reminding me never to give up. We suffered such immense losses in the Third War that at times it has seemed impossible to continue. But now the war is over. We are rebuilding, and life moves forward. Our child gives me such hope for a peaceful future, free of the hatred and malice that scars this shinobi world. As the Hokage of Konoha and as a father, I will ensure that the next generation knows the value of peace. They will know that the Will of Fire means more than protecting your loved ones, that a stranger and sometimes even an opponent are just as deserving of their protection, and by extending the hand of peace even to our enemies, we may in time halt this cycle of hatred. My child's generation will know the true meaning of the Will of Fire. I make it my mission._

_In other news, I made Kushina swear on every beautiful strand of her red hair that she would NOT_ _tell Jiraiya-sensei and Kakashi that I squealed like a girl when she told me the news. I would never live it down._

_... ... ..._

_April 28, XXX_

_Kushina has had another check up with a medic, and all looks well! Our baby seems healthy and happy! Well, I assume it's happy - not like there's much to be unhappy about in its cushy, warm environment. (Kushina disparages when I refer to our baby as 'it.' In my defense, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and it's too much trouble to say and write 'he or she' each time.) My smile is fading a little now as I remember that Kushina and I have already had two arguments today. Do all new parents have such difficulties? _

_For instance, the color of the baby's room. I wanted a nice, pale shade of green, perfect for a boy or a girl, that would symbolize our new little leaf in the Hidden Leaf Village. Kushina wanted vibrant yellow because the child is the sunshine of our lives. Makes sense, I guess, except...it's yellow. Such a finicky color. One shade off and it's like the vomit from one of the Inuzuka clan's dogs. She was not happy when I told her that. Why haven't I learned to keep my mouth shut? Blue and pink were out for obvious reasons, so I suggested a simple red like the color of Kushina's beautiful hair. I should have known better. The Red Hot Habanero made an appearance, and only her concern for the baby kept her from strangling me. I will have to hide the bruises around my neck before going to work tomorrow. Speaking of bruises, the next color Kushina tossed out was purple. Purple. I'm not joking. P-U-R-P-L-E. I flat out told her 'no' and had to use Hiraishin no Jutsu to escape her temper. I think it will be at least a week before she speaks to me again._

_I don't even want to think about what it will be like when we have to choose a name._

... ... ...

_May 5, XXX_

_Orange. The nursery will be orange. Kami, I hope our child doesn't hate me for this. I will have to explain that I spent hours - literally, hours - in the store finding the perfect shade of orange that was bright enough to suit Kushina but gentle enough that it wouldn't burn our eyes when we walked in the room. I'm making Kakashi help with the painting. The boy trains endlessly when he's not on a mission, like one possessed. I know why, of course. I only wish Rin and Obito were here to help as well._

... ... ...

_May 12, XXX_

_As I was reading over my past entries (grinning like a fool because, yes, I'm going to be a father and Kushina is such a headstrong, wonderful woman), a certain phrase jumped out at me, sparking a memory - 'never give up.' It bothered me all day until, arriving home, I glanced at my bookshelf._

_Now, most of what my sensei writes is forbidden in this house. With Kushina around, to bring home a copy of 'Icha Icha Paradise' would be...ill-advised. (Jiraiya-sensei tried once, and only escaped by jumping into Bunta's mouth.) However, there is one book, his first book, that even Kushina loves: 'Tales of a Gutsy Ninja.' I grabbed it from the bookshelf and ran to Kushina in excitement. Her eyes widened and a smile played on her lips._

_'Naruto,' she said. 'We'll name our baby Naruto.'_

_There was no question, no argument. The only flicker of doubt I had was that it may not be a feminine enough name for a girl, but my worries soon eased. This was Kushina's child, after all. If it was a girl, she would certainly be a tomboy._

_I cannot wait to meet you. Naruto._

... ... ...

_July 7, XXX_

_I'm panicked. I admit it. I, the Yondaime Hokage, Konoha's Yellow Flash, am panicked. Kushina and I just returned early from the annual Tanabata festival due to an unfortunate encounter which alerted me to a terrible threat._

_We arrived at the festival in good time. Lights were strung from the roofs and lampposts. Colorful streamers adorned the streets and stands. The entire village was alive with gaiety and vigor. I was proud to be the leader of a merry Konoha. It was more than an hour later, after several sticks of dango, that I realized that sometimes 'gaiety' and 'vigor' can be found in excess and that the heady combination is more often than not found in the youth of Konoha. Kushina and I witnessed a number of young people slipping away from their parents to rendezvous with a member of the opposite sex. And speaking of sex, most of them weren't far from it. They found cozy corners in the alleys to snuggle up with their crush. Kushina giggled, thinking the atmosphere of romance sweet, and reminded me that we had done the same not so many years before. I mostly ignored her chattering about the past because my mind was otherwise occupied._

_In that moment, the realization hit me more sharply than any kunai. For the first time, I really understood. I. Am. Going. To. Be. A. Father. I am going to raise a child from newborn to toddler to teenager. Teenager, I say. Teenager!_

_Honestly, before tonight, I didn't care whether we had a boy or a girl. I thought a boy would be nice because I could teach him jutsus and weaponry and pass on the Will of Fire. I imagined Kushina bringing him to my office so he could see how awesome his dad was. (Yes, I've indulged in many such fantasies. Is that so wrong?) But a girl, well, I could do essentially all the same things with her as with a boy, and furthermore, she might be just like a little Kushina. I could have two Kushinas! At that moment, I was ready to insist that the baby be a girl. I was on my way to track down my unborn baby and tell her so when it dawned on me... two Kushinas. I love my wife dearly, but...two Red Hot Habaneros in my little house... I quickly backtracked and reconsidered. A boy with milder temper than my dear wife wouldn't be so bad after all. Thus, I returned to the happy state of being satisfied with either._

_My happy state is gone. Because I am well and truly panicked. The frightening scenes I saw tonight have awakened me to nightmares I hadn't dreamed of. Things I hadn't considered before. Things I would have preferred __NEVER__ to think about. _

_If we have a boy, I would raise him to be kind, respectful, and considerate towards the opposite gender, not a pervert like his godfather. But what if we have a girl? She would be beautiful like her mother, intelligent like her father. A fine kunoichi in every sense of the word, and she would go on missions with her team. My daughter alone with three males. Unsupervised! Someone. Would. Try. To. Steal. Her. From. Me. Some dreadful, awful boy would influence her in her most tender years, and my little girl would find herself victim to his impure machinations._

_An hour into the festival I had begun to glare at every male child under the age of five. None were safe from me because my daughter was not safe from them. Now that I am back home and can think rationally, I realize that I may have gone a tad overboard. Kushina says that is an understatement. After all, several of the boys I glared at ran to their mothers wailing. Perhaps I should feel guilty that I do not, in fact, feel guilty. Whatever._

_Then we encountered the Uchihas - Fugaku and his wife. Mikoto-san was pregnant, as well. Very pregnant, and Kushina simply gushed to her about the babies. I was speaking with Fugaku, exchanging pleasantries and the like, when I heard Mikoto-san say that they had chosen to learn the gender of their baby. And it was a __boy__._

_My head whipped around so fast I think it'll have a crick for a week. I looked at the Uchiha woman. I looked at her stomach. I __GLARED__. The brat would be two months older than my daughter. They would play on the same playground, go through the Academy together, maybe even be on the same team as genin. The Uchihas had always been an attractive family. Fugaku and I were rivals in the academy, and he had even more fangirls than I did. His son was sure to take after him, just as talented and eye-catching. It was the worst thing I could imagine._

_I didn't realize my glare was causing some mild alarm until Fugaku stepped closer to his wife and Kushina slapped me on the head._

_'What seems to be the problem, Namikaze?' asked Fugaku in warning._

_I think I may have blushed a little in embarrassment, but I was not to be dissuaded. I pointed my finger at Mikoto's stomach. 'I don't want your son within an __INCH__ of my daughter.'_

_Silence reigned over our little group, and several heads of nearby villagers turned our way._

_'M-minato,' Kushina said, recovering first, 'We don't even know if we're having a girl.'_

_'Oh,' said Fugaku coldly (I did not catch the little quirk in the right corner of his mouth, though Kushina mentioned it later), 'you are suggesting that my son isn't good enough for your daughter?' _

_I had already realized my mistake. As Hokage, it would not do to insult the head of the Uchiha clan, but still...as a father, I had a duty to protect my daughter. 'That was not my intention, Uchiha. I was merely setting some ground rules for our children. Er, in order to promote a healthy atmosphere.'_

_'Ground rules,' Fugaku mused. 'You will be a harsh father then?'_

_'I will be a prudent father,' I distinguished. 'No male interaction until she is able to see through their deceit and flattery. A handsome face is nothing but trouble.'_

_'Are you suggesting that your daughter will be as fluttery-eyed and vapid as the fangirls in the Academy?'_

_'No!' I was enraged, Hokage-hood forgotten. 'I'm suggesting that your son will make a play for my daughter!'_

_'I daresay my son will be able to capture the attention of any girl he wishes.'_

_'Naruto is off-limits!'_

_'Naruto, eh? Well, I think my son can do better than a girl named after a fish cake.'_

_'Why you -!'_

_'Minato!' Kushina had run out of patience. 'Stop embarrassing me! We're going home. Excuse us, please, Fugaku-san, Mikoto. We look forward to meeting your son.'_

_My wife grabbed me by the ear and frog-marched me back home. I heard titters from the gathered crowd of civilians and shinobis that grew into a roar once we were out of sight. I do believe that even the stoic Fugaku was laughing at me. I can see now that he was baiting me, but that does not lessen my panic._

_My wife is rarely the voice of reason. For her to tell me to calm down and be reasonable is a bad omen. The worst omen. That is why I am certain that I will soon be the proud father of a beautiful girl and that the little Uchiha brat will one day torment her mercilessly. I cannot and __WILL NOT__ allow it. I will see to it that my child is protected from his vile intentions. Now there's yet another reason why I am glad to be the Hokage. Once the Uchiha brat is under my jurisdiction, I will ensure that his every waking moment is haunted by blue eyes and sudden flashes of yellow. He will quickly learn that there is no escape from me._

_Naruto, I have written out the whole of the affair so that one day you will appreciate what I go through for you, and now I must spend some time contemplating the best tactic to save you from the clutches of the Uchiha clan._

_... ... ..._

Naruto closed the diary with a snap. There were many more entries that Naruto would peruse after she had recovered, but for now, all she could do was pass the book silently to Kakashi, an unreadable expression on her face.

Kakashi took the journal hesitantly.

"Just read the July 7 entry," said Naruto impassively. "Sasuke, you'll want to read it, too."

As Naruto watched them read, she figured that the play of emotions across their faces was identical to what her own had been minutes before. When they had finished, they passed the journal on to Sakura and Tsunade who dove into it with teeming curiosity. Minutes later, they closed the book in a stupor.

Sakura was the first to speak. "He said that he would protect you from Sasuke if it was the last thing he did," she said with wide eyes, "and then...it _was_ the last thing he did. He turned you into a boy! And I thought _my _dad was overprotective."

"My dad was _insane_!"

"They do say that the best shinobis have a streak of insanity," nodded Kakashi, "though I always thought that sensei was the exception."

"After Tanabata, he must have researched this type of seal. It's not something you can come up with on the spot. He _planned_ this."

"I would venture a guess that sensei didn't actually _plan_ to turn you into a boy. He expected to be alive to torment Sasuke, after all. I bet he just got the idea and then became curious about it."

Tsunade cleared her throat, and the shinobis turned to look at her. "It may not have only been that he wanted protect you from, ah, romantic overtures. After the scene with the Uchihas, it must have spread like wildfire over the village that the Hokage was having a girl, and since the Yondaime himself said it, it was more than a rumor. His enemies would be looking for a female infant. By concealing you as a boy, he may have given you the greatest protection possible in the months after he died." A sudden light of comprehension flashed in her eyes. "In fact, there -" Then the Hokage stopped abruptly and glanced at Naruto.

"In fact, what?" demanded Naruto.

Tsunade rubbed her brow. "You will take this the wrong way, Naruto."

"Just tell me!"

Giving the blonde a hard look, she continued with a frown, "After I went to the Hovel and found the journal, I reread some documents dated just after the Kyuubi attack, looking for any clues I might have missed. Now, remember that other nations knew that Kushina was our jinchuriki, just as we had descriptions of Killer Bee and a few of the other jinchurikis, and as you know, a jinchuriki's seal weakens only during childbirth. So once the Kages learned of the Kyuubi attack, they knew that the Hokage's daughter had been born. Iwa in particular hated and feared the Yellow Flash who had devastated their armies, so I'm certain that they gave top priority to assassinating or kidnapping any child of his." Tsunade sighed, and Naruto clenched her teeth, knowing they were coming to worst part. Tsunade's voice was heavy as she said, "Records of that day indicate that another child was born on October 10. Another girl."

A lead weight settled in Naruto's stomach.

"Three days later, she was killed."

"No," Naruto whispered in horror.

The Hokage could only nod.

"But - but she had a family! Surely the shinobi could see that she was their -"

"The assassin was caught. He was an Iwa spy posing in Konoha as a merchant. The girl was the child of a civilian family that the Yondaime was unusually friendly with. In retrospect, hiding the daughter of the Hokage in a civilian family where no shinobi would expect her to be would not have been a bad plan for your concealment."

"No," she whispered again.

"That is another reason you were put into an orphanage, Naruto. The Sandaime hoped you would be camouflaged with the other infants. If he or Kakashi or Jiraiya were to adopt you, it would have been too suspicious, and I see now that it would have given away your greatest protection. The enemy would have learned that you were a boy - or disguised as one at least."

"Which civilian family was it?"

"I knew you would blame yourself."

"Which family?"

Tsunade sighed. "The Ichirakus."

... ... ...

Too many things had happened. It was all too much. Naruto sniffled. _Keep it together, Naruto. Just a little farther._

Turning down a street, she ran to a familiar front door and knocked on it incessantly until she heard footsteps coming closer.

When the door finally opened, she threw herself forward and wailed, "Iruka-sensei!"

The stunned Iruka was flustered beyond belief when a young woman collapsed in his arms, shaking with sobs.

* * *

**Review please! I quite liked this chapter, and I hope you did too!**


	5. Complications

**Heehee, Iruka turned out like Minato... Both have overactive imaginations :) **

* * *

Complications

Iruka had a problem.

The problem had a name.

The name was Naruto.

The previous evening, an abominably wretched Naruto had flung herself in tears at Iruka. Bewildered and having no clue who the girl was, Iruka had tried to detach her from his jacket but in vain. The blonde had an iron grip, and the villagers who watched their interaction had keen eyes and loose lips. Then, as though the girl's knees had given out, she collapsed into his arms. In his surprise at the sudden weight, Iruka overcorrected, and he fell backwards into his house with the girl landing soundly on top of him. The ever-observant villagers noted with interest the new development in Iruka's supposedly eternal bachelorhood, and out of options, Iruka had kicked the door with his foot and closed it in their faces. With a vague sense of dread, he prepared himself for the onslaught of rumors that would soon spread. But first, the girl.

He had nudged her uncertainly, asking her if she was all right, and she had looked into his eyes. Blue eyes lined with red from tears looked to him for comfort, and all Iruka could do was gasp, "N-n-naruto?" It took the better part of three hours and numerous cups of tea before Iruka fully understood what had happened, which was due less to his own powers of comprehension and more to Naruto's garbled and entirely disjointed explanation.

He had sent Naruto to bed with assurances that everything would be okay and that she would feel much better in the morning after a full night's rest. Simple words, really, but coming from someone as trusted as Iruka, they were enough for Naruto to slumber peacefully.

It wasn't until the next morning when Iruka was in the kitchen making a traditional breakfast instead of ramen for Naruto that he discovered his new problem, but when he did, it wasn't so much a realization as it was a smack to his face or a punch to his gut. What happened was that a sleepy Naruto with bed head and little clothing had walked into the kitchen, and Iruka had really understood -

Naruto was a girl.

Naruto was an _attractive_ girl.

Naruto had little sense of modesty.

Naruto had little regard for personal boundaries.

Naruto had entirely too many male comrades.

Thus, Iruka had a problem. As soon as word got out that Naruto, the hero of the Fourth Shinobi War and the Namikaze heir, was a girl, a swarm of suitors would appear with words as sweet as honey but as dangerous as poison.

Naruto was in trouble.

Iruka shooed Naruto back into the bedroom with an order to put on every article of clothing she had worn the previous day. It was at that time that Iruka came to a conclusion. She needed someone to educate her in the ways of womanhood. Someone who could teach her proper boundaries between men and women and convince her that wearing all her clothes was a necessity. Someone who could guide her in the ways of a kunoichi without corrupting her. Naruto needed a role model.

But who to trust with such a task? Sakura and Ino? No, no, they had matured since the war, but they were still teenagers. Who knew what things they might tell his impressionable Naruto. Things like attracting men and flirting and who knew what else! Well Iruka wouldn't have it. No teenagers. Anko? She was a strong kunoichi with a mind of her own, but those fishnets were so formfitting that men couldn't help but stare at her "assets." Well, Anko was constantly going on missions and wouldn't have time for Naruto anyways. Kurenai would be perfect! She was kind and gentle. She had excellent manners and dressed appropriately. She...she was an unwed mother...

Iruka gave himself a mental slap, knowing it was wrong of him to be judgmental. Kurenai was a wonderful kunoichi and an even better mother, but this was Naruto. His little sister. His daughter. His family.

And there were far too many unattached males in her vicinity for his liking.

The previous night, Naruto had left herself unguarded with Iruka. That was fine, seeing as Iruka had her best interests at heart, but what if Naruto's heedlessness extended to other men? What if she, in her naivety, _encouraged_ her comrades with her proximity and openness?

The Hyuuga prodigy, Neji... He and Naruto were close friends. Hyuuga Hiashi would not be against bringing the daughter of the Yondaime into the fold. In fact, from the way Hiashi had been overturning old rules, Iruka was certain that he would welcome the unconventional union of a Hyuuga to such a prominent outsider. Neji might take Naruto for a walk one moonlit night, then stop to whisper in her ear, _'Naruto, it was you who freed me from my eternal prison. It was you who shone as a beacon in my despair. It was you who taught me to take fate into my own hands, and now I hope to take your hand in matrimony._

Iruka could just barf.

Then there was Inuzuka Kiba... Not the brightest of the lot, but neither was Naruto. They got along well. In fact, the two had been prank-buddies in their Academy days. He and Naruto had similar senses of humor and a teasing relationship, with one regularly insulting the other. But what if the "insults" had a deeper meaning? What if teasing turned to flirting?

Iruka would have to remind Naruto that she would stink like a dog for the rest of her life.

Sabaku Gaara... Sure, he was the Kazekage, and it would be quite unusual - well, more like set the precedent for a marriage between two Kages. But _that would be the pitch! _That would be Gaara's method of winning Naruto. Convince her that it was best for both Konoha and Suna. A permanent, unbreakable alliance. Naruto would do anything for Konoha. Anything! And she already had a unique connection with Gaara as only he among her friends could understand the pain of being a jinchuriki.

Perhaps Iruka could mention to Naruto how rarely they would get to see each other if she were constantly running off to Suna to be with her husband?

Rock Lee... He was fiery and - no, not a problem, and Iruka didn't bother to even consider Shino since Naruto routinely forgot the boy even existed.

The way Iruka saw it, there were many problems out there but only one real threat.

Uchiha Sasuke.

It would be all too easy for him to imprison Naruto. All he had to do was play the I'm-leaving-Konoha-unless-you-give-me-a-reason-to-stay card, and Naruto would move heaven and earth to keep the Uchiha by her side. The Uchiha's only goal was to revive his clan. If he took a fancy to Naruto, he would try to impregnate her within the month, and Naruto, not understanding his intentions or the consequences, would find herself bound to the Uchiha as little more than a babymaker.

Iruka would face the Uchiha in combat before he let that happen.

"What plans do you have today, Naruto?" asked Iruka, not letting his inner turmoil show.

The blonde slumped a little in her chair. "Today's supposed to be my birthday party with, well, everybody," she said almost glumly. "I guess it's time to tell them, but before that, I have to find Sai. He's the only member of Team Seven that doesn't know."

"I'm sure Sai will understand why you couldn't tell him earlier."

"Yeah. I know he won't mind. I just wish that I didn't have anything to tell him." Meaning that she wished she wasn't a girl.

"Naruto," sighed Iruka, "I hardly know what to say. You've been dealt a hard life. Your parents' death, cruelty at the hands of Konoha, _having teammate abandon you_, Akatsuki, the war...seems like you never catch a break, huh?"

Naruto sniffed and wiped her nose.

"But no one - and I mean _no one_ - would have the strength to go through all of that and come out smiling. But you did." Then Iruka smiled and Naruto almost unconsciously returned it. "Somehow, you've always smiled and you've always overcome the hardships that life threw at you, even when _that bastard of a teammate_ tried to kill you. It's no different this time." Iruka clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulders. "I'm with you all the way, and I'm sure your friends will be, too."

"Thanks, Iruka-sensei," said Naruto gratefully, failing to catch the subtle slurs against Sasuke.

"That being said, you should talk to talk to the Ichirakus. Sooner rather than later."

Naruto visibly slumped. "Not yet," she said in a tremulous voice. "I know I have to, but not yet."

"It'll be harder the longer you wait." Naruto nodded, and Iruka decided to change the subject. "Your hair is messy. Want me to fix it?"

"Sure," she smiled, welcoming the distraction.

Moments later, Iruka was frowning at the trip wire and glaring at the monstrous knots that tied the two ends together. He spent a few minutes tugging on the wire and hoping the knots would give way but to no avail. "I'll have to get a kunai to cut through this wire," he finally said, wondering why Naruto had tied them so tightly.

Naruto's gaze darkened, and she muttered something under her breath that Iruka couldn't catch.

Returning with a comb, two ponytail holders, and a kunai, Iruka tackled the trip wire and tangled hair with zeal. When he stood back to review his work, he found the effect quite cute, which in a way was surprising. Since Naruto obviously didn't welcome her change in gender, Iruka would have thought that she would do all in her power not to look girlish. He half-expected her to chop off all her hair. So as Naruto stood to go, he asked, "Why pigtails? I like them, but what made you pick them?"

"Oh, I dunno," she shrugged. "Sasuke-teme fixed it like this yesterday, so I figured I keep it this way. So thanks, Iruka-sensei!" With that, the bundle of sunshine bounded out the door, completely missing the half-incredulous, half-horrified look on her sensei's face.

Aghast, Iruka watched her go, immediately determining that swift action must be taken to avoid a catastrophe.

... ... ...

A hour later, Naruto sat in the small apartment of the fifth member of her team, averting her gaze as she waited for a reaction.

"Ah," Sai said calmly from where he kneeled on the floor, "so you really are dickless, Dickless."

"Sai, you bastard!" Naruto cried in reflex, jumping to her feet in an aggressive pose.

"But since you are female, the nickname is even more -"

"That doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to like it!"

"But my book suggests that once a nickname is given, it cannot be easily -"

"It shouldn't have been given in the first place!"

"But I was trying to breach the gap -"

"No, back then you were just trying to insult me."

"Vagina."

Naruto lost her train of thought. Actually, it was more like that train crashed and exploded. "Eh?" she asked feebly.

"If I can no longer call you Dickless, then you need a new nickname. Vagina is -"

"Fine! Dickless is fine!"

Sai smiled.

Naruto fumed.

Sai stared at her for several long moments before Naruto, unable to maintain the silence, burst out, "What the hell do ya keep looking at me for?!"

"Naruto, you may be just the person I've been searching for."

"Eh, what's this all of the sudden?"

"I am faced with a problem that has no clear solution."

"Come again?"

Instead of explaining himself, Sai reached for a small, blue book that was lying open on his couch. He flipped through the book until he found a certain sentence on a certain page and pointed to show Naruto the sentence she should read.

_~ When faced with a problem that has no clear solution, the best course of action is to confide in a trusted friend who can look at both sides of the issue and help you to determine your next step. ~_

"So basically, I've just turned into a girl, and we're going to discuss _your_ problem?"

"I am not in a position to understand what you are experiencing and can therefore offer little help. However, since you now have insight into the female mind, you are in a perfect position to give advice to me," he said simply.

"You know what, fine," she sighed, tugging on a pigtail. "Hit me with it. It'll be a nice break from all of my crap."

Sai nodded a little gratefully and began. "One month ago, I momentarily forgot that it is important to say the opposite of what you think to women, and I called Yamanaka-san 'ugly.'" Naruto groaned. "She reacted similarly to Sakura and attacked me with her mind jutsu."

"Not surprising," muttered Naruto.

"Yamanaka-san employed a pain-inducing jutsu - one of her newer techniques, I believe. She was quite ruthless, paralyzing my movements and causing me to feel the sensation of pain throughout my body. It was admirable. However, she seems to have left a piece of her consciousness in my head."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

He described the encounter as though it were a clinical problem. "In other words, I suddenly find myself thinking of her at inopportune times, and more often than not, she is unclothed. I am hesitant to tell her that her technique erred somehow, or perhaps this is a joke. I continue to have difficulties in understanding certain humor -"

"I don't think that's it," interrupted Naruto. She may have trouble picking up on subtle cues, but when smacked in the face with the obvious, even Naruto could put two and two together.

Sai asked hopefully, "Then you understand the problem?"

"Er, well, to start with - do you _like_ Ino?"

Sai tilted his head questioningly. "As I said, I admired her technique. It was well-executed and effective. I imagine that few of the Yamanaka could do it."

"But what do you think about _her_ and not her technique?"

"She is ugly," came the prompt response.

"Sai, do you think _any_ girl is pretty?"

"No."

"Fine. Then say out of all the girls we know - so that means Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and any girl you know in ANBU - which do you think is the least ugly?"

"Hm," he hummed with a pensive look on his face. "Probably Hinata."

"Damn. Why Hinata?"

"Because she is the least noticeable. Or should I say, she is the least likely to draw attention to herself. Thus, I am less inclined to notice her ugliness."

Groaning in exasperation, Naruto slapped a hand on her forehead. This was hopeless. As Naruto wracked her brains for an idea, her eyes fell on Sai's sketchpad. "Ahah! Sai, out of all the girls from before, who would you most prefer to draw?"

"Ino," he said instantly, not even realizing he had begun to call her by her first name.

Naruto could have fist pumped. There were finally getting somewhere! "Great! Why'd you pick her?"

Again, Sai looked pensive. "She is...very expressive. Very alive. And when she caught me in her mind jutsu, her eyes were gleaming with anger and aggression."

Naruto scratched her chin a trifle uncomfortably. "And that's, you know, attractive to you?"

"If by 'attractive' you mean interesting, then yes." Sai reached for the sketchpad that Naruto had noticed moments ago. "I enjoy studying the play of expressions across her face. I have learned much about the female population through watching her this past month."

Then he handed Naruto the sketchbook, and Naruto immediately began flipping through its pages. Picture after picture was sketches of Ino. Ino at the market, Ino at her team's favorite restaurant, Ino training with Shikamaru and Chouji. Then came portraits of her wearing various expressions. Sometimes she was smiling, sometimes laughing, sometimes angry. Sometimes her expressions didn't show any obvious emotion, but Sai could tell Naruto what those faces meant, too.

"Okay," said Naruto finally, closing the pad, "this is solid proof. Sai, you're in love with Yamanaka Ino, and you've been stalking her."

"In love?" Sai asked curiously, tilting his head. "That doesn't seem possible as I have experienced none of the usual symptoms. No weak knees. No sleepless nights. No butterflies in my stomach - though I've never understood how such a phenomenon could be possible for anyone. It is true that my heart was beating erratically when she put me under her jutsu, but I believe that was a response to being attacked."

"And _yet_," inserted Naruto, "you can't stop thinking about her. You've gone so far as to follow her around when you're not on a mission, and I know you don't have much free time being in ANBU and all. You know all of her expressions and quirks - which is, frankly, a little disturbing - and most importantly, when you were explaining what each of those expressions mean, you started smiling. A real smile, not one of your creepy ones."

"Perhaps you are right," said Sai slowly. "It is not outside the realm of possibility, I suppose."

"Look at it this way... Have you ever had as much _interest_ in another person as you have in Ino?

Sai considered before answering, "Possibly."

"Who?"

"You."

"Eh?"

"And Sasuke-san, by association."

Sai rose from the floor and strode to a bookshelf. Once there, he thumbed through a stack of sketchpads and said, "You two were the first people I ever had any interest in. Remember when we found Orochimaru's hideout and you swore that you would never give up on bringing Sasuke home? At that time, your eyes were on fire. That's how it seemed to me anyways. Before that, I had thought you were simply loud, obnoxious, and stupid with an unusually small dick -"

Naruto's brow gave a little twitch.

"- but afterwards, I wanted to understand what could make you look like that. Bonds, you said. So I resolved to study your bond with Sasuke-san." Finally, Sai's hands found the sketchpad he was looking for, and without opening it, he handed it to Naruto.

The pages were filled with pictures of Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke's face and figure were drawn with harsh, dark lines that gave an impression of evil and even madness. Sometimes, he looked cold and broken; sometimes, his hatred was palpable. Those drawings were rather disturbing, so Naruto focused more on the pictures of herself - well, of _himself_. She was still a boy back then. Naruto was often surrounded by fire. There was power and a plea in his eyes, which were constantly turned toward the dark avenger.

"When I first met him," said Sai, "Sasuke-san's eyes looked cold and dead, but after the battle with Madara, when he turned on you, his eyes shone with a burning hatred. I've never seen such blatant, unbridled ferocity in anyone, before or since."

"Gee, thanks," muttered Naruto.

"After you tried to kill each other, I realized that what he truly hated was the spark of hope that he could never quench. By trying to kill you, he was trying to destroy that hope."

Naruto stared for a long moment at the pictures. "Sai, for being an emotionally retarded person yourself, you are really good at picking up on other people's emotions."

"Thank you," he said with a presumably-not-fake smile.

Then she flipped to the next page, and Naruto choked. "Why are we _intertwined_? And naked?!"

It was an abstract piece. Naruto and Sasuke faced each other, chests not quite touching, but while Naruto's firm gaze rested on his companion, Sasuke's eyes were closed and shadowed. Their arms reached for other, but their hands blurred into black vine-like coils that simultaneously clawed at and reached for the other. The point of contention for Naruto was the fact that their hips - well..._merged_, and their joined legs, like their arms, faded to black.

"This drawing represents your spirits as I once saw them. Unable to let go of the other, yet unable to cease their eternal battle. Yin and yang. Push and pull."

At that, Naruto muttered darkly, "It's usually the bastard doing the pushing."

"Sasuke-san closed his eyes to walk in darkness, but you were always moving forward with your eyes on your goal. In the end, as you lay dying, he finally understood that you weren't sacrificing yourself for Konoha...but for him."

"Kami-sama," breathed Naruto. "How the hell did you figure that out?"

"As I said, you were the first person to ever interest me, and I studied you meticulously." Sai shifted from his kneeling position to sit cross-legged on the floor. "Which is why I can see that you are upset, Naruto. If you like, I would be glad to listen to any of your troubles."

Ordinarily, she would never dream of talking to Sai about this, but by some odd twist of fate, the artist might just be the only person besides Naruto who had an inkling of what was going on behind the Uchiha's exterior. "Sasuke's been acting weird," she confessed.

"In what way?"

"Well, it's like it's been the same but not."

"I do not understand."

Naruto yanked on her hair. "I don't really either! He hasn't insulted me since I became a girl. I mean, he hasn't called me 'dobe' or 'usuratonkochi' since then. Not that I miss that, but - then, in a way, I do. Also, he's calm one minute and angry the next. Normally, that would be fine since I like to annoy him, but he's been making it way too easy! He blows up in my face, but then, he gets this tight, pinched look that I don't recognize. He's super tense all the time, even when he's not mad."

"I have never seen Sasuke-san when he wasn't tense."

"Yeah, well, that's probably because he doesn't like you," she said, knowing Sai wouldn't take offense. It was the truth, after all. "I mean, it's not like he's ever _relaxed_, but when it's just the two of us, he usually...less wound up."

"When it's just the two of you?"

"Yeah, but he's been on freakin' pins and needles the past couple of days! I mean, I disappeared for a few hours the other day - not like its the first time I've done that. Normally, when I'd return, he'd just look at me and say 'baka' like it was no big deal that I was gone. Sure his shoulders would relax, and I'd know that he'd been worried. But _this time_, Sai - this time he totally freaked out! He was _livid_. He even got Tsunade-obaa-chan involved! But the weirdest part came when I got out of the shower. For a minute, he just looked at me with the strangest expression on his face, like he didn't even know me. Even being hungover, I noticed it. Then he started yelling at me about my hair...that's just weird for Sasuke."

"Perhaps he is simply having greater difficulty accepting that you are female," suggested Sai.

"Well, yeah, but that's no excuse. I'm the one who actually changed genders, so I'm the one who should be all pissy and angry."

"Sasuke-san appears to be generally disinterested in women as a whole. So perhaps he simply needs some time to adjust to the idea of having a female friend."

"Some time," repeated Naruto blandly.

"Some time," agreed Sai.

"Whatever," sighed Naruto, running a hand through her hair. _Stupid teme causing stupid problems._

Then Sai switched gears. "Naruto, I can accept that I might have feelings for Yamanaka-san, but I still don't understand why she is so often unclothed in my thoughts."

"Um, haven't you read any books on, you know, puberty?"

Sai looked at Naruto unblinkingly. "I did not think it necessary since I had already been through adolescence by the time I began researching emotions."

"Well, being in ROOT probably stunted your growth in certain areas." Geez, this was just her luck. He really had no idea about, well, anything, and Naruto so didn't want to be the one to enlighten him. "You know what, Sai? After this, why don't you go find Kakashi-sensei and ask him about puberty? I'm sure he'd be glad to explain it."

Haha, not! Kakashi-sensei would run for the hills, but Sai would likely follow him until he had an answer. Naruto hoped that she was there to see the look on her sensei's face.

The two sat in silence for a while, Naruto turning over the various complications in her life while Sai recalled a particular term from one of his books.

"Naruto," asked Sai, "would it be correct to call this a heart-to-heart? A time of mutual sharing and sympathizing?"

"Guess so," Naruto grunted.

"Ah." He nodded in satisfaction. "Then we have deepened our bond of friendship?"

"You know, I think we have. Funny."

"Though, I'm still not certain what conclusions to draw about Yamanaka-san."

"And Sasuke's such a stinker."

"But it is rather comforting to speak with someone about your innermost thoughts, just as my book suggested."

"You know what, Sai? I've got just the idea to make us both feel better," said Naruto, the beginnings of a grin causing her lips to twitch.

"What is that?"

"A good, old-fashioned prank."

... ... ...

Two hours later, Naruto bounded through Konoha, setting a blistering pace as she vaulted from rooftop to rooftop.

_Damn the bastard's fast! _When she wasn't in Sage or Kyubbi Mode, Naruto was about equal in speed to the bastard. Then Naruto spotted her salvation walking calmly down the streets of Konoha.

"Gaara! Sand!" she cried, leaping for the unsuspecting redhead.

The Kazekage faintly noted that the blonde flying through the air towards him was not, in fact, the blonde whose birthday he had come to celebrate. Nevertheless, he responded on instinct and formed a platform of sand for the girl-blonde, and just like he had done with Naruto months before, he added his own chakra to her jump, propelling her forward like a shot.

"What was that?" asked Temari in bewilderment. "Naruto?"

"There was no henge or genjutsu. My chakra-enhanced sand would have felt it." This girl-blonde, as Gaara referred to the female inwardly, could easily be Naruto's sister.

"Damn, if Naruto had a sister, that'd be her," said Kankuro, echoing Gaara's thoughts.

"That had to be Naruto, though," said Temari. "Who else would talk to Gaara like that?"

"I have a feeling we will find out at the party tonight."

Or they'd find out sooner.

"NAAARRRUUUUUTOOOOOOOOO!" a dark figure yelled, hot on the heels of the girl-blonde.

It was Uchiha Sasuke, but if it weren't for hearing his voice, the Sand siblings might never have known who he was. Dripping from head to toe with a black liquid that was either paint or ink, the Uchiha surged from roof to roof in his pursuit of the troublemaking blonde. He didn't acknowledge the shocked gasps and pointed giggles from the villagers on the street. No, he had a single-minded purpose, and _that_ was to strangle and probably dismember a blonde, blue-eyed shinobi.

Temari watched the Uchiha until he disappeared from sight. "I wonder if he knows that there's a white stripe down his backside."

Kankuro chortled, and even Gaara smiled. Uchiha Sasuke, revered by the women of the Five Nations as the epitome of masculine beauty, distinctly resembled a skunk.

... ... ...

_Did you see that?!_ roared Naruto angrily to Kurama in her mind. _Did you see what he just did?!_

**_Yes, he ran off with his tail between his legs. Sissy._**

_He ran off! _Naruto repeated, enraged. _What the hell is wrong with him?!_

**_Perhaps it is like Sai said and the Uchiha doesn't know how to respond to you anymore._**

_But he did respond like always! Then he just...left. I don't get it! _Sasuke had chased after her in a rage just like he was supposed to while Naruto led him into another trap. Feathers were going to rain down on him and stick to the chakra-based ink from Sai's stores, and Sasuke would have had to cross all of Konoha 'inked and feathered' back to his apartment to clean up. But instead when he had almost caught her, he had abruptly stopped and stared at her for a long moment, an inscrutable look on his face, before turning away.

It just wasn't normal.

**_Who can fathom the mind of an Uchiha? _**said Kurama bitingly. **_And who would want to?_**

_I sure as hell want to! He's my stupid bastard of a best friend!_

**_Perhaps he no longer wishes to be your friend._**

_Bullshit. _

**_Maybe he thinks you're too breakable now and no longer wants to fight you. _**The Kyuubi's voice was full of scorn.

_What the hell's that supposed to mean?_

**_Some men believe that women belong in the home. That they are to be coddled. I wouldn't have guessed it of the Uchiha, but who knows?_**

_If that's the case then I'll just pester him until he's blue in the face! He'll have to attack me like usual!_

**_Heh,_** said Kurama, **_women may tend to be weaker shinobis, but when it comes to pure, cussed stubbornness, they trounce men every time. It explains a lot about you._**

_Never let obaa-chan or Sakura say that women are weaker. In fact -_ Naruto darted forward and landed a punch on Kurama's nose before a tail whipped towards her, which she neatly dodged. _I'm a girl now, so I'll make it my mission to beat the snot out of every boy in our age group! No. Every top-ranked shinobi male in the village! _she cried, sounding a bit like Lee.

**_Without my power, of course._**

_That's right! Without - eh?!_

**_It would hardly be fair to use my chakra to prove that women are superior._**

_Eh? Um, maybe you're right. Yeah! I'll trounce 'em with my own power! _Though she would have to think carefully about how to beat Neji and the decidedly un-Gentle Fist style. _Yosh! Time to hit the training grounds!_

... ... ...

Little did Naruto know, the second half of her prank wouldn't have worked even if Sasuke had continue chasing the blonde. The reason was simple. As Sai prepared thousands of ink feathers for the grand finale of the prank, his ANBU tattoo had tingled. It was a summoning to Hokage Tower.

He arrived there two minutes later, his fox mask securely in place, and fell into the ANBU ranks.

Moments later, the Hokage arrived and wasted no time addressing them. "Intelligence detected a foreign chakra signature entering Konoha by the west wall. Two barrier teams are in pursuit, but the target has not been located. Rat, Bear, Falcon, Dog, begin the hunt." The four ANBU immediately launched themselves from the rooftop, barely visible blurs. "Snake, Monkey, tighten security at the main gate. Cat, alert the Inuzukas, Hyuugas, and Aburames. Have every available tracker scouring the village. Rabbit, inform the jounin commander. This is a level 2 alert." The remaining ANBU were sent to guard strategic points in Konoha, places where an enemy was likely to attack. "Fox, send out your rats and birds. Don't worry about alarming the villagers. This is not a time for caution."

Sai nodded and pulled out his scroll. Moments later, hundreds of small ink-animals sprung to life and scurried down the Hokage Tower or flew through the air, scouting the village for a foreign chakra.

"Fox," said the Hokage, "have you seen Naruto?" It was less of a question and more of a demand for information.

"Seven minutes ago, she was with Uchiha Sasuke near the main market."

Tsunade grit her teeth. It was either a very good thing or a very bad thing that Naruto was with the Uchiha.

"Can you confirm the location of the Uchiha for the whole of the morning?"

"Naruto can confirm that Sasuke-san was sleeping in his apartment for the past two hours, Hokage-sama."

"Was Naruto _spying_ on him?"

"She sent a clone to be a lookout."

"A lookout for?"

"We played a prank on Sasuke-san. It should not be difficult to locate him if that is your wish. I'm certain that he is still dripping with ink."

Tsunade smirked. "Leave it to Naruto to unintentionally provide the Uchiha with an alibi."

Sai was quiet for a long moment. If this were Danzo-sama, he would never ask but instead accept only whatever information was given to him, but Tsunade was nothing like Danzo. "Hokage-sama," Sai asked, "it is _him_?"

Tsunade looked at the young ANBU. "It's not like Orochimaru to slither in without causing a ruckus. If it is him, I imagine we will know soon enough."

... ... ...

Soon, all of Konoha knew that something was amiss. A training exercise, the villagers were told when they asked why members of three clans were running through the streets wearing harried expressions and ink-mice scurried about the streets and rafters. Those who had lived through many such "exercises" were not fooled, but they chose to believe it so as not to alarm the younger, more naive generation.

Besides, their blonde-haired hero in his Oiroke no Jutsu form was just seen bounding through Konoha laughing. Nothing too terrible could be happening while Naruto was around.

However, said blonde shinobi was now wholeheartedly ensconced in her training, relearning her body and its new strengths and limitations. Naruto threw herself into the workout, determined to forget the confusion wrought by her best-friend-worst-enemy Uchiha Sasuke.

... ... ...

Hours later, Inuzuka Hana appeared in Tsunade's office where a small crowd of Konoha's top shinobis were gathered. "Hokage-sama, my mother and I found a trace of the intruder's scent outside the north wall. Mother is still tracking it."

"Fox," commanded the Hokage, not bothering to conceal her anger, "send word to the ANBU. The north wall and Inuzuka Tsume's tracks." No sooner had she finished speaking than several birds erupted from his scroll and flew off to alert the ANBU.

Tsunade breathed in deeply, hoping to calm herself. Not only had an enemy shinobi penetrated Konoha's barriers but he had managed to evade a full contingent of the finest ANBU and escape the walls with seeming ease.

"Hokage-sama," said Hana, "the scent was very faint and had no distinctive or distinguishing features. This was a shinobi who knew how to hide his scent."

"Of course. Anything else?"

"Hai. We found tracks...two pairs of tracks. The intruders didn't even bother to hide them once they were outside the village."

One person entered. Two left. "He has an accomplice," Tsunade noted, and if the accomplice had now left his post in Konoha, that would mean that he had achieved his objective, whatever that may be. "Shikaku," she called to the head of the Nara clan and the jounin commander, "conduct a census. I want to know the whereabouts of every single shinobi in Konoha."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

Minutes later, a frog-masked ANBU bent down to address the Tsunade. "Hokage-sama, I made contact with Inuzuka Tsume. Two teams continued pursuit as I backtracked to discover the point of exit."

"And? How did they escape?"

"Through a secret passageway...in the Uchiha compound."


	6. Suspect

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

Suspect

A steady stream of shinobis and officials passed through the Hokage's office that afternoon. Department heads relayed suspicious activity. ANBU reported the status of the search. Several council members, true to form, demanded word of the intruder and made nuisances of themselves while doing nothing to further the hunt.

Two such council members were leaving the Hokage's office in a dither, just having been told off by an irritable Slug Princess, when Nara Shikaku strode through the door. "Tsunade-sama," he wasted no time in saying, "all jounin and chunin are accounted for. Genins are being tracked down as we speak."

"Have any civilians reported a missing person?"

"No, Hokage-sama."

"Damn." They needed a lead on the accomplice.

An ANBU wearing a rabbit's mask appeared in front of them in a swirl of leaves.

"Report."

"Hokage-sama," said Rabbit as he knelt before her, "T&I, the prison, and the archives are clean. There is no trace of the intruder."

"So we have not _one lead_ on the intruder's activity in Konoha?!"

"No, Hokage-sama."

"Very well. Return to your post." As Rabbit left, Tsunade turned to the jounin commander. "Well, Shikaku, what was he doing here? What was his purpose? It doesn't make sense that he came only to retrieve his accomplice, does it?" Tsunade clenched her teeth in frustration. "If the accomplice was a spy and his mission had ended, then he could have simply walked out the main gates without attracting our notice!"

"We must wait for information," said Shikaku calmly. "It _will_ come, Tsunade-sama."

"I will not allow that snake to deal us any further harm!"

"The jounin are on alert until further notice."

Tsunade was seething. They had come so far and fought so hard - she wouldn't allow anyone to destroy this peace! If only they could determine the intruder's purpose! But he was like a phantom; he left no trace. Knots of tension worked their way into Tsunade's shoulders, and she felt a headache coming on. This was shaping up to be Konoha's worst day in two years.

Just then, Ibiki walked in. As the commanding officer of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation force, he was their most skilled information gatherer and had been given a special assignment.

"Any progress?" she asked Ibiki.

"Uchiha Sasuke has answered our questions to my satisfaction but has refused any form of mental interrogation."

Tsunade sighed, "Of course he has."

"What are your orders, Hokage-sama?"

"Bring him to me. I want to hear him for myself."

A few minutes later, Sasuke walked through the door with Dog - also known as Hatake Kakashi - a few paces behind. Tsunade's eyes lingered on the Uchiha for a long moment. His normally pale face was curiously discolored. Around his hairline, his skin was a pale gray, but his cheeks and nose were a rough pink, as though he'd scrubbed off the top layer of skin. _Dripping in ink,_ Sai had said. Tsunade would have laughed herself to stitches if the situation had been different.

"Your lapdogs have already questioned me extensively," noted Sasuke shortly.

Well, he was in a foul mood. Tsunade couldn't blame him. "How many escape passages did your clan create?" she wasted no time in asking.

"I knew of twelve. There may have been more."

Damn paranoid Uchihas! "Why did you not think to mention these passageways before? As a shinobi of Konoha, it was your duty. Or does your _clan pride_ still come first?" she asked with sarcasm.

Sasuke didn't rise to her provocation. "The tunnels are only accessible by an Uchiha with the Sharingan. Even so, I checked on them myself a year after I returned to Konoha. Naruto was with me at the time."

Which would explain why Tsunade had received no report of him poking around the former Uchiha land. Damn Uzumaki!

Sasuke continued, "As I suspected, Pain's Shinra Tensei destroyed the entrances along with the rest of Konoha, and I thought them inaccessible."

"Then the intruder forged his own entrance into the tunnel?" Tsunade already knew the answer of course, but she wanted to hear the Uchiha's explanation.

"Yes. From my brief inspection with Morino just now, I believe that only two of the deepest passageways survived Shinra Tensei, but both still have significant cave-ins. With the entrances destroyed and the passages partially blocked, the intruder must have had precise knowledge of the tunnel's placement. Even I would not have known where to dig."

"And you did not think that someone might find the exits?"

"It is impossible for all but an Uchiha."

"Precisely the problem."

Sasuke was the last of the Uchihas and therefore a primary suspect. He remained silent.

"We have confirmed that Orochimaru has the Rinnegan. Do you believe he could find and infiltrate the tunnels?"

"There is little Orochimaru cannot do." There was fury in Sasuke's voice. The secrets of his ancestors desecrated by that snake - it did not sit well with him.

An ANBU guard interpreted his fury differently and moved into a defensive stance by the Hokage.

"If you have nothing to hide, why have you resisted mental interrogation?" asked Tsunade, waving away her guard.

Sasuke gaze was steady, unperturbed by the frog ANBU's actions. "Since returning to Konoha, I have not violated the terms of my parole in the slightest. I have submitted to your restrictions without objection. You have taken my chakra and limited my freedom, but my mind is my own and will remain as such."

"I understand." And unfortunately, she truly did. No shinobi, no human enjoyed having their mind broken into. It was a violation of the worst kind. "Assuming the intruder was Orochimaru, can you offer any insight into his actions?"

"His goal has always been the destruction of Konoha, but he would need an overwhelming force to defeat Naruto. Have any graves been robbed lately?"

Tsunade pursed her lips. "The original graveyard was also destroyed during Pain's invasion. We recovered many of the coffins, but it is difficult to determine one body from another. It could be done, but it would take an excessive amount of time and energy for little gain. I doubt Orochimaru would consider it worth the effort." Still, it bore looking into; she would assign a team to investigate.

"And the shinobis that died during the war?"

"A seal was placed on each and every grave of our fallen comrades. Plus, many of the families chose to have the bodies cremated rather than have their loved ones resurrected as an enemy. The same is true throughout the five nations. Edo Tensei is no threat to us."

Sasuke nodded. He knew the seals for its release anyways.

"Anything else?" Tsunade asked with a raised brow.

"You should recall Mitarashi Anko. Orochimaru was revived using her cursed seal, which may have forged a connection between them."

Tsunade raised her brows. "What kind of connection?"

"I used a portion of Anko's chakra to revive him, knowing that he would depend on that chakra in the first few days of his rebirth. It was my fail-safe. Kill Anko, and Orochimaru would die too."

The shinobis stiffened at his cold, unfeeling calm. It was times like this they couldn't forget what the Uchiha once was.

Sasuke continued without pausing. "I'm not certain, but it is plausible that her chakra still resides in Orochimaru, just as his was once in us. If that is the case, then Naruto might be able to trace it."

"Rabbit!"

The ANBU reappeared promptly.

"Recall Anko immediately."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Then he was gone.

Tsunade turned back to Sasuke and demanded, "Why are you only telling us this now?!"

He maintained his cold composure even in the face of the Hokage's anger. "I knew you wouldn't agree with killing Anko on a mere suspicion, and I didn't consider using Naruto's Sage Mode because I wasn't aware that she was able to trace Pain back to his hideout until an hour ago when Morino and I were discussing the invasion."

Ibiki nodded to Tsunade, indicating that they had indeed discussed it.

Sasuke's voice held a faint accusatory tone when he said, "As long as he has the Rinnegan, there's no telling what he can do. How did he get it?"

Tsunade studied the former avenger, searching for any hidden motives, any signs that he was discontent with his life in Konoha. He was unreadable. "The prevailing theory is that after your little jaunt to the 'one who knows everything,'" said Tsunade with a hint of annoyance since Sasuke had not been forthcoming with the details of that meeting, "Orochimaru returned to Uchiha Obito's lair, where he found Madara's remaining Rinnegan -"

"I destroyed it," Sasuke interrupted. "I went to the lair immediately and destroyed every eye with Amaterasu." He had watched them burn with a sense of closure, considering it his last act of cleansing for the Uchihas. He hadn't wanted filth like Danzo to profit by the Uchiha's decline.

"Yet suddenly, your former ally appears bearing the eye you supposedly destroyed."

"Orochimaru was never an ally. Just a means to an end."

_Che, how cold, _thought Tsunade. "Regardless, it is not like you to be so careless."

"That Rinnegan was no fake. It had power."

Tsunade surveyed Sasuke's thinned lips and stiff shoulders - the only signs that he was angry. "I was unable to examine the body that Orochimaru left behind." She had still been recovering from the unfortunate cleaving of her body when the snake was tracked down. "But I am told that it was studied thoroughly by a number of medical specialists who found no reason to doubt that it was authentic. If he could create an entire body that stood up to medical inspection, then it is not surprising that he could fool you with a single eye."

A slight flare of his nostrils. Oh dear, he didn't like the thought of making such a crucial mistake.

"The problem with that theory is that he does, in fact, have _two_ Rinnegan, and it is simply impossible that he could have stolen the one implanted in Obito. Without outside help." Tsuande tapped two papers that lay on her desk. "The Raikage and Mizukage have requested that we interrogate you with or without your consent by whatever means necessary. Though the Mizukage did ask that we avoid injury to your face."

"And?" he asked with subtle mockery, suggesting that they would get no more out of him than he was willing to give.

"Impudence," growled Frog.

"No, his anger is understandable," she said, frowning at the ANBU who was meant to be neither seen nor heard, yet here he was - both. "I am questioning his motives and his integrity. If he were not offended, I would be more concerned." Tsunade returned her gaze to Sasuke. "Konoha law dictates that we cannot interrogate a shinobi without their consent if there is no probable cause, and I have deemed that there is none. I have chosen to trust you, Uchiha Sasuke, and unless I am given evidence otherwise, I will not violate that trust."

Sasuke nodded in understanding and some gratitude and left the office along with Ibiki at her dismissal. Kakashi remained behind. Frog, realizing that he had incurred his Hokage's displeasure, returned his usual state of mute invisibility.

Shikaku sighed, "It is unpleasant to doubt one of your own."

Kakashi didn't bother to pull out his favorite _Icha Icha_ book from his weapons pouch - proof of how serious the mood was in the Hokage's office. "Sasuke was aware that he would never have our complete trust when he returned."

"He could be laughing at us right now, calling us gullible fools," grumbled Tsunade into her hands.

"In retrospect," said Shikaku, "placing Sasuke in Konoha would be a clever ploy of Orochimaru's."

"We couldn't have defeated Madara without Sasuke. There's no doubt of that," said Kakashi firmly.

"No, but then neither Sasuke or Orochimaru would have wanted to fall under the Infinite Tsukuyomi, so doing away with Madara was in their best interest," countered Shikaku.

"Sasuke claimed that Moon's Eye was a fool's plan. He told Madara and Obito that he was ashamed to be an Uchiha if he meant he shared the blood of cowards who were too weak to exist in reality and that through their deaths he would restore the honor of the Uchiha clan."

Tsunade grunted, "The boy's a damn good actor if it's all a front."

"For argument's sake, let's say they're allies." Shikaku cleared his throat and continued, "Sasuke gains our forgiveness and conditional trust by defeating Madara before returning to Konoha where he lives and works in close proximity with our most powerful shinobi and future Hokage - in a perfect position to act when the time comes. Meanwhile, Orochimaru obtains the Rinnegan, which Sasuke purposefully didn't destroy, and recovers his power. They bide their time until the right moment." Shikaku brought his hands together in a familiar sign - the same one Shikamaru formed when he was thinking deeply.

Kakashi shifted on his feet and said, "Though he wears a mask of indifference, Sasuke has powerful emotions that he ultimately allowed to direct him in the past. Two years ago, his love for his brother was rivaled only by his hatred for Konoha. Honestly, I don't know if he has the self-control to hide such an intense hatred from us for so long."

"When Naruto and Sasuke fought, it truly appeared that Sasuke intended to kill him," noted Shikaku.

Kakashi inserted, "Then Sasuke saved him."

"Yes," Shikaku considered. "Was his change heartfelt or an elaborate ploy? And if it was a ploy, why take such a huge risk in saving their strongest opponent? Unless a living, breathing Naruto somehow factors into their plans." The thought was unpleasant to say the least.

"Naruto is convinced that Sasuke relinquished his desire for revenge...and I was too before now."

Tsunade grit her teeth. "They knew that we would be suspicious of Sasuke the moment Orochimaru made an appearance."

"Yes," said Shikaku knowingly, "and even that plays into their favor. This conversation is proof of it. We want to believe in Sasuke and thus quarrel and feel guilty when we doubt him, thereby weakening our judgements. More importantly, Naruto would be up in arms if he knew that Sasuke's loyalty was in question, and there you have it. Internal dissension."

"And next the destruction of Konoha," ended Tsunade. Hmph, not while she was goddamn Godaime Hokage! All she needed was just one good hit on her former teammate. One. Good. Hit.

"There's still the limiters," said Kakashi. "Even though Naruto is at ease with Sasuke, I doubt Sasuke could kill or capture her by sneak attack. Not to mention Kyuubi-sama is keeping an eye on him."

"Naruto is with him constantly," murmured Tsunade in thought. "She may have noticed something without realizing its significance."

"Naruto would never voluntarily give up information on Sasuke if she thought we suspected him."

"She?" asked Shikaku finally, having noticed the use of the feminine multiple times.

"Naruto is a girl."

Shikaku stared at Kakashi and then Tsunade before saying, "Oh. That must be why my son was muttering about troublesome nature seals."

Kakashi looked at Tsunade. "If Naruto figured out that we were trying to wangle information from her, she'd be furious."

"You're quite right. However, Naruto does have a bad habit that we can exploit."

"Which one in particular are we talking about?"

Tsunade smiled grimly. "The one called diarrhea of the mouth."

... ... ...

From the moment she had learned of the intruder, Naruto was incensed that she hadn't been called to join in the search, and she had stormed into Tsunade's office demanding an explanation. In Kyuubi mode, she could sense negative emotions, so of course she could have found the intruder! Tsunade reminded her of the last time she had "gone Kyuubi" within Konoha's borders. Mass panic erupted on the streets, and an outpouring of negative emotions had struck Naruto like a blunt weapon, rendering her sensing capabilities useless. Plus, Orochimaru was certain to know the benefits of her Kyuubi mode and would keep his killer intent to a minimum.

Naruto was hardly mollified by such a reasonable argument and demanded to know what the intruder had come for.

"Now you sound like the useless members of the damn council!" yelled Tsunade.

Such an insult, while severe, didn't shut Naruto up for long, but her voice was less loud when she asked, "What about Kabuto?"

"He has not yet emerged from Izanami." Of course, Kabuto's cell was one of the first places they'd checked.

"And Juugo?" The gentle yet insane shinobi had voluntarily surrendered to Konoha after the war, primarily because Sasuke done so. Now, he resided at Konoha's Mental Health Institution where he was undergoing therapy. He was given considerable freedom on his good days, which were occurring more and more often. Surprisingly, Naruto had been the one to help him the most. With her expertise in natural energy - the source of Juugo's rages - she had been able to help him direct the natural energy rather than having it take him over. His control was far from perfect, but he credited his improvement to Naruto and Konoha. So, Naruto thought it unlikely that Juugo would return to Orochimaru, but if the snake bastard had come for him, claiming to have a cure -

"He's been having one of his bad days and was under lock-down for the duration of the intruder's stay. We have yet to find a trace of the intruder in Konoha."

Naruto heaved a frustrated sigh. "Damn."

"We must wait for more information, Naruto. It _will_ come," said Tsunade, echoing Shikaku's earlier words.

Naruto disliked the thought of waiting as much as Tsunade had.

"So," said Tsunade conversationally, leaning back in her chair, "I heard from Sai that you pranked Uchiha."

The blonde's mood suddenly skyrocketed. "Yep! Sure did! It was an old classic -" Naruto began to brag about the awesomeness of the prank, her extreme stealth in sneaking past the sleeping shinobi, and the ridiculous sight that Sasuke made covered in ink. She went on to laugh about the chase through the village and how the villagers were pointing and snickering at Sasuke, which Naruto greatly preferred to the cold looks they usually gave him. "- but then Sasuke had to blow the best part of the prank 'cause he went all anal and left all of the sudden -"

Tsunade sharpened her gaze.

" - Stupid bastard's been acting weird lately. Haven't figured out why yet."

"Perhaps he realized you were leading him into a trap?" suggested Tsunade, digging for more information.

"Nah, it wasn't that," dismissed Naruto. "He just stopped all of the sudden and got this weird look on his face. Then he turned tail and ran. Stupid bastard."

That would have been right around the time the intruder was noticed. "Hm. Did you run into anyone peculiar on your last mission? Someone that might have upset Sasuke? Like a stranger in a bar?"

Naruto gave the Hokage an odd look and scratched her chin in thought. "Uh, no strangers in bars. There are plenty of Kumo shinobis that don't like him, but he's never been bothered by that before. I kind of thought it was my whole gender change thing that's thrown him off. Whatever," she said, suddenly cheerful again, "I'll just beat his weird mood out of him, dattebayo!"

"I've no doubt you will. Now, don't you have a birthday party to get to?"

Naruto scrunched up her face in irritation. "Yeah, when you called for me, Sakura was trying to force me into a dress. _So_ not happening."

Kakashi looked at his former student with smiling eyes. "It might be cute, Naruto-chan."

"Pervert!" she declaimed.

"Get going, brat, or you'll be late."

With a quick wave, Naruto body-flickered out of the office, leaving three concerned shinobis in her wake.

"Tsunade-sama -" Shikaku began uneasily.

"No," she said firmly. "That's hardly proof of his involvement. We wait a little longer."

... ... ...

It was now past dusk, and Naruto stood outside the door of Sasuke's apartment yelling furiously at its occupant.

"Teme! You said you'd come!"

"I'm not in the mood," he said in a monotone from the other side of the door.

"You never are! Doesn't change the fact that you said you'd come!"

"I changed my mind."

Deciding words would get her nowhere, Naruto channeled a bit of chakra into her fist and punched through the lock. In one swift motion, she kicked open the door, which gave way easily before her anger, and stepped into the teme's apartment.

Sasuke looked from her to the irreparably broken door. "You're paying for that."

"Sure. Right after we get back from my party."

"Hn."

"Bastard!"

"Hn.

Naruto launched herself towards the ex-avenger, and Sasuke dodged behind the table.

Again! Again he hadn't acted like he usually did. Just the other night when Naruto was still a boy, they had had a similar scuffle. Sasuke hadn't dodged then; he had counterattacked and slammed Naruto's face into the floor!

Blue eyes surveyed Sasuke in betrayal, and Sasuke felt an unfamiliar feeling of guilt. "What do you make of this intruder?" he found himself saying.

Naruto blinked at the sudden change in Sasuke's behavior. "Well, it sucks that he slipped past our defenses, but if it's the snake bastard, I'll kick his ass!"

And Sasuke stared at her, not truly surprised but still at a loss. Naruto had complete faith in him. It honestly never even crossed her mind to doubt him. She was blind to the point of idiocy. Part of Sasuke wanted to call Naruto a fool, but instead he cursed himself for the sudden relief he felt.

"We really should get going," said Naruto with her never-give-up attitude.

"You are perfectly capable of attending your own damn party without -"

"I want you there. I - I'm nervous about telling them, all right!"

Her confession made him pause, and before he realized what he was doing, he was reassuring her in his own special Uchiha way. He sneered coldly, "How stupid. As if those morons would care either way. Nara and Sakura already know. The Hyuugas would kiss your feet if you asked them to, and Gaara would join them in a sandy flash. Akimichi won't pull his nose out of his chips long enough to notice. Inuzuka will take it as a great prank. The freaks -"

Naruto guessed he meant Shino, Lee, and probably Sai, even though he already knew.

" - quite frankly, who cares?" Sasuke stopped. He had trouble remembering all of Naruto's friends, and though he was pretty sure he'd left out a couple of them, it hardly bothered him enough to dig them out of his memory. "So stop being an idiot and go to your damn party. Without me."

Naruto was secretly pleased with his pathetic attempt to make her feel better, but that didn't deter her from her goal. She looked into his dark eyes. "Please, Sasuke."

Dark eyes widened. There was rarely a hint of begging in the blonde's voice. It was usually filled with stubborn determination. Was this pleading-through-long-lashes a new strategy for Naruto to get what she wanted? And why did Sasuke's resolve suddenly give way?

"Che, one hour. Then I'm gone."


	7. Rasengan

**By the way, in this fic only Naruto knows Kurama's name. I think Kakashi learned it in the manga (?), but I kind of liked the idea of his name being a special privilege known only to those whom he trusts...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I likely to in the future.**

* * *

Rasengan

They were late, thanks to Sasuke, and Naruto was in a disgruntled mood at his continued bastardness. So when Naruto pushed open the door to a private room of their favorite barbecue restaurant, she made a conscious effort not to let him spoil her good time.

Fourteen heads turned as the sliding door was pulled open to reveal a bright-eyed blonde and a dark-haired avenger. Kiba's remonstration to Naruto for being late was stilled on his tongue. Gaara, who had begun to stand at Naruto's entrance, stopped midway as his green eyes narrowed at the sight of the girl-blonde from that morning. Several brows were drawn in confusion as they glanced from the grinning blonde to the bored-looking Uchiha. They had all seen Naruto's Oiroke no Jutsu, but why he had chosen to come to his birthday party in that form was beyond them. Sakura giggled silently at them all while Sai watched the proceedings with interest, quietly pleased to be in the know.

"Hey, guys! Sorry we're late! Gaara!" Naruto yelled at the redhead, bounding into the room and catching the Kazekage in a quick hug - the quick, backslapping kind that boys would allow. She nodded to Kankuro and sent a foxy grin to Temari who was already seated next to Shikamaru. Then she turned back to Gaara. "Thanks for the sand jump earlier. I needed the extra boost. My legs aren't as long as they used to be." She scowled vigorously at the offending appendages before regaining her former cheer. "So how long can you stay? We haven't sparred in a while and I was thinking -"

Gaara watched the girl-blonde closely as she rambled and answered her questions as normally as possible. He kept waiting for the punch line or at least some acknowledgement that Naruto wasn't quite himself, but the girl-blonde kept chattering incessantly, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that the blonde was indeed Naruto - or at least, channeling their friend's spirit.

Sakura had to stuff her fist in her mouth to contain her laughter, which only made their friends look at her oddly, too.

"Naruto," said Neji, interrupting the blonde mid-sentence, "I think I speak for all of us when I ask... Why do you look like a girl?"

As though her bubble of happiness was popped, Naruto's wide grin quickly deflated, and she made the announcement to her friends that she was, in fact, a _she_ with little fanfare.

A number of jaws dropped. Byakugans instantly activated, and several of Shino's kikaichus skittered towards Naruto. Gaara had already felt that it was no henge or genjutsu, so he tensed and ordered his thoughts to be calm and think through this logically. Choji rubbed his eyes a few times and even pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When Naruto remained a girl, Choji glanced at Shikamaru who nodded. Then he shrugged and used the distraction to sneak a few extra pieces of meat from the grill.

"Great," said Naruto, sitting down in her seat, "now that that's out of the way -"

"Hold on!" shrieked Ino, still disbelieving even when Sakura confirmed that it was true. "I think you should explain again. More slowly this time."

Naruto rolled her blue eyes exaggeratedly and began again. Sasuke spared a glance at Sai, who did not appear to be surprised or troubled, which bothered Sasuke to no end.

When Naruto finished for the second time Sakura added, "We checked her hormone levels from a blood sample I took just before she changed. Her estrogen levels weren't quite as high as a typical girl's but far greater than a boy's, but those of the second blood sample taken from girl-Naruto were completely normal."

Kiba was lost. "So what does that mean?"

Hinata interpreted, "He - _she's_ been a boy outwardly for eighteen years but a girl inwardly."

Kiba frowned. "Does that make her like, uh, a hermaphrodite or something?"

"That is a logical but incomplete conclusion," said Shino, pushing his sunglasses up. "She is not unlike a certain species of kikaichu that is born with eggs but develops as male until maturity when its eggs are ready to be fertilized. At that point, the kikaichu exhibits female behavior and seeks to mate with members of the immature, male population. Under certain conditions, the female may be able to self-fertilize with residual -"

"Eek!" shrieked Ino again, covering her ears. "Naruto will not be _self-fertilizing _like your disgusting bugs!" A glance around the table showed that several people, including the girl in question, were looking a bit green.

Sakura interrupted to keep Shino from arguing his point. "I don't think we can say that Naruto was a hermaphrodite. It was just the seal's effects, not her true body."

"Weird," concluded Kiba intelligently. "And does she still like girls or does she switch to -?"

Naruto, unable to stomach anymore, interrupted with a yell, "Would you all quit talking about me like I'm not here?!"

Ignoring Naruto's outburst, Tenten said, "Speaking of liking girls, I find it interesting that Naruto lived and trained for three years with the biggest pervert in Konoha history, not mention Kakashi, and never showed much inclination to follow in their footsteps."

"Are you kidding me?" said Kiba with a raised voice. "Naruto's the creator of Oiroke no Jutsu!"

"But that's just it," said Sakura, agreeing with Tenten. "She treated it like a joke and used it _against_ perverts, but she herself was never affected by it. Those awful books, too -" Several of the young men shifted their gazes guiltily. "- Jiraiya-san _made_ her read and edit them, but even as a boy, she never enjoyed them." Sakura's eyes darted to Naruto as her lips tightened in warning. "Right, Naruto?" Her tone made it clear what Naruto's answer was supposed to be.

"Er, right!" exclaimed Naruto. It was only a half-lie. She certainly had not been obsessed with the books like Kakashi and Ero-sennin, but it wasn't quite true that she hadn't sometimes, well -

"Maybe on some subconscious level, you just weren't interested in girls because you are one."

"But Naruto's had a crush on you for years!" protested Kiba.

Naruto's cheeks were tinted pink though she lifted her chin defiantly. "And? There's nothing wrong with that. Though I gotta tell you, Sakura, my crush started fading after that fake confession."

Sai chimed in, "That was rather heartbreaking and cruel."

"I wasn't trying to hurt him!" roared Sakura, angered that she could never live that down. "I was trying to free him from the burden of kill-" She cut herself short.

All eyes turned to Sasuke who sat unmoving at the end of the table. _Of killing Sasuke_, was what she was going to say. As a general rule, the group tried to avoid mentioning Sasuke's descent to madness and their subsequent pledge to kill him. They weren't scared of him by any means, just wary, and even after two years, they didn't quite know how he fit into their little group.

"Yeah, yeah," said Naruto breaking the silence as her friends turned to her gratefully, "and _that_ turned out well. Sakura indirectly poisoned me - after I saved her life, I should add - and Sasuke tried to shove a damn Chidori through my heart!"

Sasuke wasn't sure why he said it. Maybe because Naruto's friends looked at him as though he were a thousand exploding tags waiting to go off. Maybe because Naruto could talk about it so easily, and he refused to be taken frivolously. Maybe because he wanted to force Naruto back into that safe realm of rival instead of whatever she was becoming.

Whatever the case, Sasuke allowed a derisive smirk to stain his lips and said, "And later, I succeeded."

A sudden and terrible coldness filled the room. Muscles tensed, and hands itched for their kunai. Several of them had witnessed Naruto and Sasuke's battle, and the memory of Sasuke's hand emerging from Naruto's back was forever etched into their memories. Though Sasuke had restarted Naruto's heart as the Kyuubi pieced the blonde back together, no one in Konoha could quite forgive the traitor for almost robbing them of their hero and friend. Especially when Sasuke looked completely at ease with the thought of Naruto's death, his eyes holding a hint of subtle mockery and smugness.

What they forgot was that Naruto was a forgiving idiot and turned everything with Sasuke into part of their rivalry.

"Teme," warned Naruto, ignoring her other friends. "_One time _you got past my defenses. _One. Damn_. _Time._ Quit harping on it like some batty, old councilwoman."

"I remember a considerable number of times."

"I kicked your ass last week!"

"Hn." It was a clear dismissal of her skills.

Naruto jumped up, banging her knees on the table as she did. "Want a rematch, bastard?! Right now!"

"What a stunning display of youth!" yelled Lee in ecstasy. "Neji my Eternal Rival, we shall not be outdone! I challenge you to a spar! If I should loose, I will scale the sheerest cliff using only my pinkie fingers! And I will sprint from Konoha to Kumo one hundred - no! Two hundred times! Do you accept this youthful challenge, my Eternal -"

"No," said Neji flatly. "You would damage relations with Kumo for all time."

Naruto's complete indifference to her almost-death had eased the tension in the room, and Lee's outburst had brought exasperated smiles to several faces. The storm safely blew over as Sakura yanked Naruto back into her chair and demanded that the blonde quite being a spar-hungry lunatic for the evening.

Kiba cleared his throat. "Still weird though. Naruto being a girl and all. I mean, we've gone to the hot springs together a hundred times."

Naruto's face suddenly lit in a grin. "Don't worry, Kiba-_kun_. I won't tell anyone about that weird -"

Kiba growled, cutting her short, while Sakura, Ino, and Tenten watched Naruto with interest. Here was a new source of previously unattainable information. Even Hinata sneaked a few extra glances at Naruto, wondering just what weird thing Kiba had.

"So, are pigtails your new look?" asked Ino.

"Eh, I guess. Teme fixed my hair like this the other day, and it keeps the hair outta my face."

"_Sasuke-kun_ put your hair in pigtails?"

"Yeah, I was hungover - I totally wiped the floor with Gamabunta, by the way - and he was trying to get me out the door. Well, first he threw me in the shower -"

"Man, Uchiha's getting all the action!" yelled Kiba.

"Nuh uh," said Naruto with a grin. "Before all that, Shikamaru grabbed my boobs."

Said Nara jerked from his slouched position and whipped his head around to a certain female at the table while Temari spit out her drink, spewing the contents over the shinobis closest to her.

"Excuse me?" she asked in a shocked tone, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Yep!" said Naruto happily. "He had to make sure I wasn't in a henge so he lifted his hand and squeezed -"

"Forced," interrupted Shikamaru, sensing imminent danger and probable death, "I was _forced_ to grab -"

"For a genius," said Temari as she stood up from the table, a wild glint beaming in her eyes, "that is a _pathetic_ excuse." Then she grabbed Shikamaru by the collar of his vest, muttering threats and curses under her breath.

Naruto, Kiba, and Kankuro howled with laughter as Temari dragged off the poor pineapple head. Gaara appeared to be faintly amused, and Choji wondered for a brief moment if he should intervene. Sasuke thought it was ridiculous that Nara would allow a woman who was less intelligent and less skilled drag him off in such an undignified manner. An Uchiha would never be caught pandering to the caprices of a woman -

"It really was funny though," laughed Naruto. "You should've seen Shika's face when I made him grab my boobs -"

On second thought, Sasuke was glad that the Sand girl was so short-tempered and violent. Sasuke wasn't sure where this sudden dislike for Nara had come from, but there it was - a small, burning ember of resentment in the pit of his stomach.

"- he actually _blushed_ a little. Can't blame him though. These," she said indicating her chest, "do feel pretty different from anything boys have -"

"Naruto-ku - ah, Naruto-_chan_," interrupted Hinata abruptly, "since you're a girl now, you really can't mention things like that. Look." She waved her hands at the seated males who were studiously avoiding Naruto's figure. Lee's face was tinted pink, and his eyes were pinched shut. Kankuro seemed very willing to look, but the sharp sting of sand against his cheeks forced him to turn his head away.

Naruto sighed impatiently and tugged on her hair in annoyance. "That's what Shikamaru said, but I'm used to having to mind my words around _girls_. It's gonna take a while to remember these new rules."

"Have you noticed any other differences?" asked Hinata, trying to change the subject. "Differences in thinking, I mean?"

"Eh, well," she blushed a little, and her friends watched in amazement as Naruto even giggled, albeit nervously. "Well, you know that I got to meet my mom since her chakra was placed inside Kyuubi's seal? She had the prettiest long, red hair. I just loved it! And even though my hair isn't red, it's still long and silky and -" Naruto's blush deepened "- I really like it."

A long pause followed her words as vastly different thoughts teased the minds of her audience.

"Your hair is very pretty, Naruto," Hinata smiled.

"Heheh, even fuzzball admitted that he likes it!"

Gaara leaned forward with a small smile and said, "I've never gotten used to you being able to talk to the Kyuubi. I could never have talked to Shukaku of the Sand."

**"That one-tailed tanuki was always the most ill-tempered of the lot of us," **sneered Kurama, Naruto's eyes suddenly flashing red. **"He has an inferiority complex and for good reason. I have nine times his power." **Kurama laughed in primal superiority, even if the claim was likely untrue.

"Kyuubi-sama," said Gaara in greeting, hiding his surprise. He knew that Naruto gave the demon fox free reign, but it was rare that the Kyuubi chose to speak to anyone besides Naruto. And hearing a rough, bestial voice come out of Naruto's mouth was the slightest bit unnerving.

**"Sand-brat," **Kurama responded.** "And where is my brother, the Ichibi, these days? Still got his head stuck in a sand dune?"**

"The latest report placed him many miles outside the village."

Naruto lips tugged into a bloodthirsty grin, revealing enlarged and rather pointy canines. **"Good. Naruto and I have been needing an opponent to see if her recent changes have affected our synchronization. We haven't gone all out in some time."**

Kankuro gulped, hoping that his brother would find a way to...diplomatically dissuade the bijuu. He could just picture a wayward Tailed Beast Bomb obliterating his home village. Instead, Gaara nodded, "Suna would appreciate advance warning, and we hope that you would move a considerable distance from the village."

**"Naruto will insist on it. She may be female now, but she is the same idiot as always. And on that note -" **Red eyes surveyed the shinobis around the table, particularly the male ones, and Kurama's voice darkened in warning. **"- I trust that none of you forget that I am here, watching your every interaction with Naruto through her eyes, and should your actions...displease me, you may find yourselves less than pleased as well."**

It was both an explicit threat and a chilling reminder. With Naruto being bubbly and cheerful all the time, it was surprisingly easy to forget that such a powerful entity dwelled within her, but the Kyuubi made sure they didn't grow complacent. He had chosen to partner up with his vessel; that did not mean he was their friend. What's more, he had grown unmistakably protective of the blonde, and anyone who wished to have a...more intimate relationship with her would always have the greatest of the bijuu to contend with.

The Kyuubi seemed to be done talking, so the shinobis - particularly the male ones - relaxed their tense postures as red eyes took on a bluish hue.

Kiba, feeling intimidated and annoyed that he was intimidated, muttered under his breath, "But a damn leash your damn pet, Naruto." And before he could blink, a burning red foxtail wrapped around his throat and smashed him into the wall. The girls shrieked in surprise but soon caught themselves. Akamaru barked and made to bite the tail until a second red tail whipped out and caught the dog, too.

Choji looked with wide eyes from Naruto to Kiba while Lee stiffened but remained in his seat. The Suna boys and Neji were unfazed. Sasuke retained his impassive aspect.

_Okay, okay, _said Naruto inside her head, _you've had your fun._

**_You should remind your idiot friend just who I am._**

_Will do._

Slitted, red eyes faded to blue, and Naruto pulled the tails back in. Kiba and Akamaru fell to the floor with two loud thumps.

"What the hell, Naruto!" yelled Kiba, running to check on Akamaru who bounded up without a trace of injury.

"You deserved it, dog breath."

"That was your own damn fault, Kiba," said Kankuro. "If I'd ever called Shukaku a pet, hell, I'd have been dead faster than I could blink."

"Naruto has better control than Gaara did!"

Naruto crossed her arms and scowled. "What if I called Akamaru a pet and threatened to chain him up, eh?"

"The hell I'd let you get away with it!"

"Damn right. Me and Kyuubi are partners now. You should understand that bond better than anybody. And besides he saved the entire freaking world! Show some respect, baka."

Kiba looked slightly abashed and refrained from muttering further.

"That was rather foolish of you, Kiba," commented Shino as his teammate sat back down. "Though I admit to being startled as well. My kikaichus even retreated."

Hinata patted Kiba's arm lightly, and he turned to her with a sheepish grin.

"So, Naruto," asked Neji with interest, "what do you make of this intruder?"

The conversation turned from Naruto's femininity to typical shinobi talk. Naruto related all she had heard from Tsunade-obaa-chan, and when she mentioned the snake bastard, several eyes flicked almost subconsciously toward the Uchiha.

And Sasuke was suddenly deathly tired of this. All of this.

They accepted Naruto's transformation so easily, and the blonde had slipped right back into the loud and joking familiarity she had always had with them. A light sparked in Ino's eyes, surely imagining the fun they would have on a shopping spree as she forced Naruto into outfit after outfit. Lee thought the transformation was a great testament to youth. Sai looked like his usual dipshit self. After his initial inspection with his Byakugan, Neji was seemingly as calm as always.

But those were just the obvious signs. Sasuke disliked the subtle looks that the Hyuuga and Sabaku were giving her. Even Akamichi of all people had taken a moment to look away from his plate and eye Naruto appreciatively. Then, at one point, Naruto had looked at Sai and motioned him to do something - some subtle gesture that Sasuke couldn't interpret. It was like they had their own personal codes, and Sai had glanced around the table and blushed. It was faint and unnoticeable by anyone who wasn't looking closely, but it was there.

God damn it! She was _Naruto_, for goodness sakes! So what if her hair was long and friggin' silky?! Why should they look at her differently? Sure, she had switched genders, but that didn't give them the right to _ogle_ -

Sasuke stopped that irrational line of thought. The boys were not _ogling_ her; they were merely _inspecting_ her. And they had every right to look her over and readjust to her changes, even if it did give Sasuke the urge to strangle -

No. Strangling was bad, particularly in a village that didn't trust him.

The group piled around Naruto while Sasuke sat alone at the head of the table as they delved into the discussion on the snake-bastard and how they would be ready for him when he came. They didn't ask for Sasuke's input, and he didn't volunteer it.

There was no place for him here. Sasuke's hour was up.

... ... ...

Sasuke left the party without a word to anyone and wandered to the training grounds - the only place he could actually be at peace in this damn village. The sky was dark, but menacing clouds were outlined by the lights of Konoha, and not too distant thunder rumbled.

Sensing a presence nearby, he stopped and spoke without turning his head. "You should get back to your party."

Naruto jumped deftly from a tree. "I left a clone," she said nonchalantly.

"They've probably recognized that already. Your friends will be hurt." Not that he actually cared, but if guilt would get Naruto away from him, then he'd use it for all it was worth.

"It's a blood clone," said Naruto dismissively.

"Why can't you just let me be?"

"Cause my best friend keeps acting like he did when he first came back. Mad and bitchy."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have brought me back."

She grabbed Sasuke by the shirt so hard that fabric ripped. "Why are you acting so different around me?!"

He flung her hands away, suddenly burning with fury. Why didn't she get it?! Why did she demand an explanation?! "Because you have become a different person! What part of _you are a female_ don't you get?!"

"The part that means you get to act like a jerk because of it! Things were getting better! You were loosening up! You even told a joke, damn it!"

"I will behave however I see fit," he said coldly.

"The hell you will!"

Sasuke had begun to stride away but turned back at the sound of cracking knuckles. A feral grin lit Naruto's face. "I just decided to defeat all the male shinobis in our year, starting with you."

"Oh, really?" he said disdainfully. "Since your limbs are shorter now, your taijutsu will be wrecked. You'll overreach and leave openings."

"Kyuubi," said Naruto aloud, "block most of my chakra. Match the level with Sasuke's, and don't interfere if he tries to put me under a genjutsu."

Sasuke hissed in displeasure. "I don't need any favors."

"I know, but this way, you can't whine when I kick your ass. And, Sasuke, I _will _kick your ass." Naruto raised her right hand, and as easily as she would draw a breath, she formed a glowing, spinning sphere in her palm. Rasengan. "If you want to live, you better not get hit with this, asshole."

Overhead, lightening crackled, and thunder rumbled. Soon, a downpour of rain swept over Konoha, enveloping the training ground and the two shinobis poised to fight.

* * *

**The next update will take at least two weeks because I want to do the chapter justice (plus I'll be traveling in NYC for a week!). Sorry! But even if you hate me, please review!**


	8. Intent to Kill

**Confession: I speak zero Japanese. Therefore, I must apologize in advance for the unreserved yet unintentional butchering of the Japanese language throughout this fic, particularly in regards to the newly minted jutsus in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: As I said, I don't speak Japanese, and Naruto is, you know, a Japanese creation. So, yeah. Not mine. **

* * *

Intent to Kill

Tense figures faced each other as rain fell in sheets, puddling at sandaled feet. A glowing sphere illuminated the dark night, casting an eerie light on the shinobis. Two faces, as different as night and day, were ablaze with anger. But Sasuke and Naruto made not a sound nor stirred a muscle, each understanding without speaking that this would not be like their usual spars. They were quiet and still, like the calm before the storm. One wrong move, and one of them would die.

A streak of lightning ripped through the sky.

As one, the shinobis surged forward.

"_Rasengan!_"

"_Katon: taka engo!_" yelled Sasuke, as fire in the form of a hawk burst to life in front of him. Even in the downpour, the fire hawk raced unflinchingly towards the spinning orb. The two jutsus met with a powerful clash and dispelled into the night.

In that instant, Sasuke's right arm came alive with crackling lightning. Straight and true, it plunged towards Naruto's heart when -

"_Futon: katta toku!_"

A blast of wind forced them apart and cut mercilessly at Sasuke's body as he flipped backwards and landed on his feet. Tiny rivulets of blood marred his pale skin until the rain washed it clean. Naruto dropped down into a defensive crouch. There was no clear winner after the first exchange. Naruto had drawn the first blood but expended precious chakra in the effort.

As rain poured around them, the two shinobis didn't speak but watched each other warily. Like two predators assessing a threat with barely contained ferocity. With a start, the blonde was the first to move. Renowned across the five nations for her speed, Naruto darted forward at a blinding pace, her fingers flying through hand seals.

"_Suiton: rasen ame!_"

The rain changed its downward course, as though no longer subject to the call of gravity. Raindrops coalesced to form spiked vortexes of rapidly spinning water - at least twenty of them, whipping through the air wildly. And Naruto raced towards him at the center of maelstrom.

With a growl of frustration, Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He needed every advantage fighting against Naruto at such high speeds, even at the expense of chakra. Three tomoes spun wildly in the crimson irises and gave Sasuke those valuable moments of foresight that would save his life.

The blonde could control the vortexes individually and coordinate her attacks accordingly. It was a crippling technique to a shinobi who could not match her in speed.

For Sasuke, the challenge was invigorating.

"_Doton: doro funsui!_"

The earth erupted around them, and fountains of mud deflected the rasen ame vortexes while Sasuke slipped through the bedlam of flying mud to counter his blonde rival. Their fists met with a force that produced a shockwave. Both shinobis were thrown back by the impact.

No sooner had their feet regained purchase than they were charging each other.

Sasuke felt his body loosen as he responded instinctively to Naruto's assault. A kind of peace swept over him, and in that moment, all was right with the world. It didn't matter that Naruto wasn't who she used to be. It didn't matter that Sasuke was at a loss to understand the impact of that change. Because, right then, they weren't friends or enemies or even shinobis of Konoha. They were Sasuke and Naruto. Free of demands or influences or prejudices. Sasuke's angers and frustrations, the villagers' accusing glares and Konoha itself melted away until he was left with a single-minded purpose.

To battle Naruto in their eternal struggle for supremacy.

He took the offensive, closing the distance between them as the ground blurred beneath his feet. Naruto's suiton abilities weren't the only techniques with a weather-induced power boost.

"_Chidori senbon!_"

Thousands of lightening needles flew at Naruto, their aim enhanced by his Sharingan. They would strike Naruto at her vitals - kill her if she didn't -

"_Futon: bakuhatsu!_"

An explosion of wind burst from her core. Blasted from their trajectory, the electric senbons scattered and fizzled out as they fell towards the earth. That was a new technique. _Futon: bakuhatsu_, she called it. It was an effective counter against many of his lightening-type techniques, maybe even _Kirin_. Sasuke knew instinctively that she had created the jutsu solely to counter him.

Well, she couldn't do that forever.

In the confusion caused by the falling senbons, Naruto brought her hands together in a familiar seal. "_Kage bunshin no jutsu!_" And four clones appeared beside her.

"Idiot!" Sasuke yelled over a clap of thunder. "Without your usual chakra reserves -"

Two Narutos grabbed the clones beside them and launched them at Sasuke at startling speeds, duel Rasengans spinning in their palms.

"I'll worry about my chakra reserves! You worry about _this_."

Sasuke dodged the first clone and sent the second flying with a kick to its gut. A Rasengan buried itself into a tree. Sasuke struck at the first chance. A kunai buried in its back, the clone disappeared with a satisfying pop. The first clone charged from behind. He threw it off-balance with a Doton jutsu and dispelled it with a kick to its sternum.

Meanwhile, the remaining three Narutos were upon him.

"_Suiton: hoippu!_" cried two of them simultaneously as thick veins of water surged from their arms. Naruto was going through chakra like a river over a waterfall, blowing through it as though she weren't already severely limited. All the better for Sasuke.

Concentration was the key here. Naruto was trying to trap him, to halt his movements just long enough to cage him in a watery prison. It was the ability that had captured the Kumo missing nin. But if Sasuke concentrated and didn't allow the water whips to herd him, he could avoid their partner technique - _Suiton: kangoku_ - with minimal chakra expenditure.

He launched himself towards a clone. Another down, two Narutos to go.

That was his strategy. Let Naruto take the offensive and have her consume her chakra like it were candy. Then, at the moment she faltered, he would strike - a simple yet perfect plan. It fit their personalities like a glove.

Naruto was passionate.

He was rational.

Her inability to hold back would work against her while his clear-headedness would win the battle.

The number of water whips doubled, exploding upwards from the puddles on the ground. Not startled, Sasuke catapulted out of their reach with a chakra-enhanced leap and rebounded off a tree.

It was time for the counterattack!

He landed lithely just inside Naruto's range. Her back was half-turned to him as his right hand crackled with _Chidori._ She wouldn't make it in time to dodge. She was at his mercy as he drove his arm towards her exposed torso. With this, he would be victorious!

Instead, Sasuke faltered. Then, incomprehensibly, he fell to one knee.

What the hell?

Momentarily frozen, he barely had time to register the softly glowing markings on the ground. Markings that were draining his chakra at an alarming rate.

When did she -?

Oh, shit. When his back was turned. The first clone must have placed the seal while he dispelled the second. Naruto's _Suiton: hoippu_ was for mere distraction while she moved into position. _Look underneath the underneath. _He hadn't. He had fallen for the trap.

Naruto had never used fuinjutsu against him before. Her last clone disappeared, replenishing a portion of her chakra, and she leveled a hard gaze at him.

"Right where I want you, bastard."

Time was suspended for Sasuke. Those few short seconds seemed like an age as icy blue eyes bored into his own. His heart was beating wildly, blood coursing through his veins. The thrill of battle worked its way in his bones. Not since he had fought Itachi had he been so invested in a battle. Not since he had fought Madara had he felt the gut-wrenching feeling of being overwhelmed. Not since he had last fought Naruto at full power had he felt the euphoria of being perfectly matched. Now, here he was, kneeling before his blonde-haired rival, defenseless. It was humbling. It was bewildering. It was somehow enticing. Knowing that he was one blow away from death intensified his will to survive. No one else in the five nations could make him feel this alive.

There were few things that Sasuke enjoyed. This was the exception. He _loved _this. He knew Naruto through and through, but there was always an unpredictable element that he could never account for, that took him by surprise. He was supposed to be the prodigy, but she was a force of nature. She was the wind. Pressing down on him from all sides. Breathing life into his darkened soul.

The spell broke as Naruto delivered a high-powered kick to his backside and sent him crashing through the trees. The underbrush unfortunate enough to lie in his path was ruthlessly cleared as he went skidding across the ground in a spray of mud and debris. With a groan, Sasuke pushed himself off the ground just in time to block Naruto's fist and launched himself backwards to regroup.

"I told you I would kick your ass," Naruto said, her calm tone belying the spark of unrestrained anger in her eyes.

He hadn't realized she meant that literally, but his butt cheeks smarted painfully from the blow. If he hadn't raised a chakra shield at the last moment, his tailbone would be in fragments.

It was rather humiliating.

"So what do you think of my fuinjutsu? Eh, bastard?! What do you think of me now? Still think I'm too weak to stand next to you?!"

"I never said you were weak." Quite the contrary. He spat out blood.

"What else would turn you back into a prickly ass bastard?!"

They were back to that. In the course of the fight, he had managed to forget why they were fighting with such abandon in the first place. Now she drew it back to his attention, and his hackles rose.

"Answer me, Uchiha!"

He didn't know the answer any more than she did! He only knew that something was bothering him, something was throwing him. Something was different, and it royally pissed him off. Logically, he understood that the _something_ was centered around Naruto's transformation but had no clues beyond that. If he could just figure out what it was, then he could fix it and everything would go back to normal!

Sasuke was frustrated as hell, and as per usual, he took it out on Naruto.

His fire was greatly weakened in this weather. _Chidori_ was too costly, and the strange seal had funneled at least half of his remaining chakra. He needed a new strategy - something that would freeze her movements with minimal chakra loss for himself.

It was so easy, it was almost cheating.

Sasuke smirked as he raised his eyes to meet hers. Like a switch had been flipped, he was all over Naruto, striking fast and hard, never giving an inch. Taken aback by the sudden reversal of roles, Naruto tried to counter, but she was blocked at every turn. She needed just a moment to regroup, just a moment to form seals for her next ninjutsu attack, but Sasuke allowed her not a spare second.

Kami-sama, the bastard was fast! He planted a foot in her chest and pushed off from her. While he flipped through the air, she fought to regain her footing. He pointed a finger at her.

"_Chidori eiso!_"

Too fast!

Naruto couldn't fully deflect the lightening spear. It shot through her right shoulder and propelled her into a tree. She met the trunk with a hard thud that dazed her. She instinctively raised her fist to block Sasuke's kick. No good. He reversed and came at her from the other side. Her right arm was in agony, hanging useless by her side. Blood poured unhindered down her chest.

He was winning. Beating her thoroughly. When had he gotten so fast? Or had she gotten slower? Her damn female body was losing. Her vision was blurry.

Damn, if Sasuke had this kind of speed, why hadn't he used it at the beginning?

He was fast.

Too fast.

Naruto's thoughts suddenly realigned.

He was _too fast._

Genjutsu, she realized with a start. Well, hell. It was her fault Kurama wouldn't help her out of this one. The fake Sasuke flew at her, but she ignored him and gathered her chakra as best she could.

"Kai!" she yelled, and Naruto found herself standing still in a puddle of muddy water.

Sasuke blinked. It hadn't been a high-level genjutsu, but Naruto had never managed to break even one of his illusions without the fox's help.

Equally surprised, Naruto looked down at her body. Her right shoulder was unharmed. She had actually managed to dispel a genjutsu! Being in her rightful body had its perks, after all. Then she frowned. Her chakra was really low. Man, having only low jounin-level chakra reserves sucked!

Her opponent didn't seem to be faring any better. They were both breathing heavily, their chests heaving in and out, while scratches and bruises adorned their flesh. As Kakashi had once said, _You won't succeed unless you come at me intending to kill. _Neither had held back.

It was risky, but she had to conserve her chakra and wait for a chance to strike with ninjutsu. In the meantime, she had to rely on taijutsu. Sasuke had said, _"Since your limbs are shorter now, your taijutsu will be wrecked. You'll overreach and leave openings." _Well, Sasuke wasn't wrong, but she had a temporary solution to that problem. Naruto had sworn to win, and she never went back on her word. She would _beat_ the truth out of Sasuke if she had to - and his bastard attitude along with it.

"_Kage chi bunshin._" A blood clone appeared next to her. "You'd better be worth the chakra. Let's go!"

"Hai, Boss!"

As one, they moved towards Sasuke.

... ... ...

Hidden from sight by a line of trees, Sakura watched from a distance as her teammates exchanged blows. Though she understood their rivalry better than anyone besides themselves, even she was shocked by their unbridled ferocity. They came at each other with intent to kill, setting a pace that she couldn't hope to match. Their kunai were out, igniting sparks as they clashed at frenzied speeds. Even now the two shinobis were rivals. Equals.

And she was on the sidelines.

"Sakura."

The pink-haired shinobi tensed, not having noticed her friend's approach. Taking a moment to paste a practiced smile on her face, she turned at Ino's call.

"We should get back to the party, Sakura."

Sakura nodded and said lightly, "I just wanted to make sure my two idiots were all right. That Naruto-baka should know I can't be tricked by a blood clone. I'm a medic after all!"

Ino wasn't fooled by her friend's carefree voice. "Sakura," she began slowly, "I know what you're thinking."

Pink brows raised quizzically. "That I'm still hungry since Choji ate most of the meat?"

"I-I know what you're thinking b-because I thought the same thing the moment Naruto became a girl!"

"It's really crazy, isn't it? Who ever would have guessed? The Yondaime may have been a genius, but he was completely -"

"Quit it." Ino's voice was suddenly harsh. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You saw it just like me. W-when Sasuke-kun bristled like a jealous boyfriend!"

The pasted smile threatened to slip, but Sakura grit her teeth and held onto it for dear life.

"I know you've already realized it, even if you haven't admitted it to yourself. I didn't want to believe it either, but I knew the minute he stood up to leave that - that I had lost." A noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob caught in her throat, but Ino forced it back, determined to get this out. "I've always waited for him. Waited for him to start noticing girls, waited for him to be impressed with my latest jutsu, waited for him to return home. When he came back to Konoha, I thought, _Finally. Finally he will acknowledge my existence. _But he rebuffed me at every turn." She gathered her courage and said, "Now it's too late."

The silence was long as Ino waited for Sakura to speak and Sakura grasped for her quickly departing composure.

Then Ino said, "I met him before the massacre, you know. He came to the shop to buy flowers for his mom, and I helped pick them out. Before he left, he smiled at me and thanked me. That was when I first fell for him." Ino's lips tilted in a smile at the memory. "He was always the prince. I dreamed countless times that one day he would walk back into the flower shop and ask me what _my_ favorite flower was. _Lilies_, I would say, _white lilies_. And later, he would surprise me with a bouquet.

"After the massacre, he was cold but so handsome and mysterious. It's no wonder all the girls in the academy got crushes on him. I'm not sure when my crush became something more. It's always hurt when he just...wouldn't respond to me, but I still couldn't give him up. I kept telling myself that the next day would be different. The next day he would notice me. The next day he would fall for me. I don't even know how many 'next days' I waited for." Ino straightened, and her voice grew firm. "But no more! I'm done loving him! I quit! I give up! And, Sakura, you should, too."

Denial choked by emotion forced its way past Sakura's lips in a garbled utterance, but she sealed her lips tightly.

"Sakura, it's not like we have a chance. We _never_ had a chance with him, and it's taken something like this for me to admit it." Ino gripped her arms, digging her nails into the skin. "We have to move on."

"It - it's not that simple for me, Ino," said Sakura a little harshly, finally catching her stride, "you really didn't know him at all. You didn't fight with him, almost die with him! I've had all the same dreams and disappointments that you've had, but the difference is that I actually know him!"

"Do you really?" she asked quietly. "Can you really say that you know him? Do you know him well enough to know what he's thinking those times when he stares off into space? Those times when his eyes are on us but it's clear he doesn't see us at all?" Ino gained momentum until she was shouting. "What about those times when we ask him a question but instead of answering he looks past us as if we don't exist?! Do you know what he's thinking? Because I sure as hell don't! I never had any idea what was going through his head, but that all changed tonight at the party! For once - for the first time! - it was obvious what he was thinking! N-naruto," Ino said in a suddenly quaking voice. She shook her head to ward off the feebleness of her heart. "Naruto," she repeated firmly, "makes him lose his cool composure. Naruto riles his emotions. Naruto -"

"This - this is ridiculous, Ino! _Naruto_ has been _a boy _for eighteen years! Even if - even if Sasuke-kun _did _like Naruto, there's no way that Naruto would return his feelings. So the point is moot!"

"The hell it is! If there's one thing we learned from the war it's that Uchihas love intensely! And if Sasuke-kun is this far gone in - what has it been, four days? - imagine what he'll be like next week! Then what? You'll just bide your time like you've been doing for the last decade?"

"You're just searching for an excuse to give him up, and that's fine for you but -"

Slap!

Ino's palm stung where she had slapped her best friend's cheek.

"Snap out of it, Sakura. Stop holding on to something that was never yours to begin with." Ino lowered her hand as Sakura's shoulders began to shake. "If anything, I keep searching for an excuse _not _to give him up. I've loved him so long that - that I don't know how _not to_. I've loved him for most of my life, so don't you dare think that giving him up is easy for me, Sakura!"

Silent sobs wracked Sakura's body. She had known. Some part of her had realized in the Hokage's office four days ago that she might finally have lost. The past two years, she had held out hope that Sasuke would wake up one day and see her with new eyes and her happily ever after would come true. Though that didn't happen, his disregard for her was bearable because he never gave any girl his attention, unless he was sparring with her. And Sakura had sparred with him numerous times within the first year of his return. She reveled in his undivided attention, drawing out their spars, working hard so that he might acknowledge her strength and, from there, her feelings. Sometimes he let a match last longer than it could have, and at those times, Sakura had allowed herself to hope that her patience had not been for naught. Maybe he _wanted_ to spar with her a little longer. Maybe he _enjoyed_ being with her. Even if he was only humoring her, at least he was taking her feelings into account.

Then, during one such spar, Sasuke was toying with her, and Sakura was tearing up the landscape to get at him. Her strength was waning, but she forced herself past her weakness, determined to show him a good match.

Focussed as she was on Sasuke, she didn't sense the approach of their other teammate until Sasuke himself took his gaze off her and inclined his head in Naruto's direction. His eyes, which had been cold and calculating during their spar, finally showed some life.

At that moment, Sakura knew that she was nothing but a placeholder for Naruto. She was the occasional convenience that Sasuke used to relieve his boredom. The blunt tool he used to keep himself sharp for his next spar with Naruto.

"You didn't have to end it on my account!" Naruto had called, upon bursting through the trees. "We've got some time before -"

"It was over a long time ago," Sasuke had said dismissively.

The words uttered more than a year ago echoed in her ears.

"It's really over for good, isn't it?" she said more to herself than to Ino.

"Yeah. It really is."

It was the culmination of a decade-long love, and a dead feeling settled heavily in her stomach. Sakura didn't know how to come to terms with it.

"You know," she whispered softly, "I always imagined that somehow, I would be the one to bring him back. I would change him. I would _save_ him."

"Yeah, I know. Me too, but that didn't happen for either one of us. It was Naruto. It was always Naruto, and now, it's only a matter of time before Sasuke-kun realizes it."

Both girls sat in silence for many long minutes.

"Naruto, huh?" Sakura gave a choked sort of laugh. "When Sasuke-kun first came back, I tried to act more like Naruto. I started yelling and slurping ramen and being obnoxious. I was hoping that Sasuke-kun would open up to me like he did with Naruto. Instead, he looked at me like I was insane or was some disgusting bug. That is, when he looked at me at all," she added in a pained voice.

There was a long pause, then Ino snorted. "So _that's_ what you were doing. We all wondered if the war had turned you funny."

Almost involuntarily, Sakura giggled, remembering the stomachache she'd had after inhaling four bowls of ramen, and before long, the two girls were laughing until sharp stitches form in their sides.

It was laughter born of heartbreak, of distress, of mutual understanding tinged with hysteria.

"I - I'm _tired_ of loving Sasuke!" she exclaimed.

A sudden crash startled both girls as a green-clad ninja fell off a nearby tree. Rock Lee sprung up from the ground. His face was burning red, but his eyes were shining with ill-repressed emotion.

"S-sakura-san!" Excitement made his voice squeak. His arms were stiff by his side, and his back was rim rod straight. "I followed you and Ino-san from the party because I was worried! I beg you to forgive my unyouthful eavesdropping, but if you are giving up on Sasuke-san - I must know. Is this true?!"

"H-hai."

"In that case, allow me to express the Fires of Eternal Love to you! Sakura-san!"

"L-lee?" she questioned in astonishment. "You still -"

"I never stopped loving you for one moment! And now I wish to prove myself to you!"

Ino began tiptoeing away.

"Lee-kun, I - I've just now come to a decision about S-sasuke, and I can't -" Her voice wobbled, and she stopped to fight back against the sweeping tide of emotions.

"But after your broken heart has mended, will you be accepting other suitors?"

"I - I," stuttered Sakura, "I need...some time -"

"Then there is hope for me?!"

Sadly, Sakura looked into Lee's shining, black eyes, knowing the truth could crush him as she was crushed. "Probably not."

Lee lunged for her hands in joyful rapture. "Then there is! Thank you! Sakura-san!" Planting a quick kiss on her gloved fingers, he sped off towards the barbecue restaurant, positively _glowing_ with youthful vigor.

In a daze of confusion, sorrow, and something akin to exasperation, Sakura made her way over to her blonde-haired friend.

The two stared at each other for a long moment before Ino snorted, "That boy has no sense of timing. Doesn't he know that he needs to wait the requisite seventy-two hours to take full advantage of your vulnerability?"

"Why seventy-two hours?" Sakura asked with morbid curiosity.

"That gives you just enough time to accept the inevitable, to cry your heart out a thousand times, and most importantly, to be desperate enough to fling yourself onto the first hot-blooded male who's interested."

Sakura sighed miserably. "Wanna stay over tonight?"

"So we can cry our hearts out together?"

She nodded.

"Mind if I bring sake?"

"As long as you bring enough for me."

As the kunoichis walked away from the training ground, Sakura cast one last glance over her shoulder. Into the darkness, she murmured, "I can't believe we got beaten by someone who wasn't even trying to win."

* * *

**The fight was all going to be in one chapter, but it along with Sakura and Ino's bit got too long. Review please!**

**New technique translations:**

**Katon: taka engo - Fire: hawk guard**

**Futon: katta toku - Wind: cutting shield**

**Suiton: rasen ame - Water: spiral rain**

**Futon: bakuhatsu - Wind: explosion**

**Doton: doro funsui - Earth: mud fountain**

**Suiton: hoippu - Water: whip**

**Suiton: kangoku - Water: prison**

**Kage chi bunshin - Shadow blood clone**


	9. Just Naruto

**Hi guys! Sorry about the super late update, but I moved states and started two new jobs this past month. Please be patient with me! Also, I'd like to say a huge 'thank you' to my reviewers. You guys remind me of why exactly I am writing. Thanks!**

* * *

Just Naruto

Training ground E was unrecognizable.

Naruto's futon jutsus had sliced through countless trees and uprooted the undergrowth while Sasuke's dotons had demolished, reformed, and re-demolished the earthen floor. The two shinobis looked little better themselves. Rain poured down on them unreservedly until their clothes clung to them with chafing tenacity. Mud mixed with blood as it slipped down their wet bodies, but neither shinobi slackened their assault.

It was a fast-paced exchange as they lashed out and dodged, parried and ducked. Naruto's blood clone was on its last legs, and in a storm of anger, Sasuke pressed his advantage. Feigning a cut to left, Sasuke ducked right and caught the clone's hamstring with his kunai. At least, he thought it was the clone's.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as her clone fell to its knees, crippled. The Uchiha's attack was ruthless and calculating, but she should have been able to dodge it. The clone must have misjudged its position and speed. Her legs were marginally less powerful than they had been a week ago, and the muddy field was wearing on her. Against any normal shinobi, Naruto would still have the advantage. Sasuke was not a normal shinobi, and she still wasn't fully adjusted to her new body.

Not yet, but she was getting there.

Putting space between herself and Sasuke, Naruto brought her hands together and dispelled the clone, wincing almost unnoticeably as its memories of pain were added to her own. But along with those memories were the clone's impressions of the fight. How, on the offensive, she had to step in just a little further to connect a punch, and on the defensive, she had to pull back more quickly to dodge a kick. Sasuke was physically stronger than Naruto, but she could use that against him. She had to be faster, sharper, smarter. She couldn't rely on strength and speed alone. Flexibility and creativity were essential when fighting a stronger opponent. Naruto would have to change her taijutsu accordingly.

First things first. Naruto's orange jacket hung in tatters, tugging uncomfortably on her arms as she fought. It could never be mended. In a swift move, Naruto sliced at the fabric and ripped though the rest. Her ragged jacket landed in the mud, doomed to its fate, revealing the wet, black undershirt that was pasted to her body by rain and blood and sweat. Her womanly figure was well-defined by the black shirt. Naruto didn't notice, but Sasuke certainly did.

For some reason, the sight infuriated Sasuke further, and words exploded from his mouth, "Life is just one big joke to you, isn't it?! And you turning into a girl is just another of your stupid pranks!"

"You think I _like _this?!" demanded Naruto incredulously. She shot towards Sasuke as she shouted, "Damn it! Do you even know how fucking weird it is to go to the bathroom now? How insane and damn annoying it is when I want to sleep on my stomach, _but I can't _because of these _damn breasts?!_" The Uchiha blocked her uppercut and flipped backwards to avoid a low kick."It sucks, and I hate it! But I'm trying to figure this out!" Her fist lashed out and slammed into Sasuke's gut. Sasuke heaved as he lurched away. "Just because I don't turn into some moody asshole whenever I'm worried about something doesn't mean I don't care!"

Naruto's words weren't penetrating Sasuke's conscious. He was angry but didn't know why. Frustrated for a reason that eluded him. The unknowing compounded his anger and frustration until Sasuke saw red.

"Sometimes I think I've got you pegged, Uchiha, then you go and pull shit like this!"

"_You _attacked _me_," snarled Sasuke. His kunai raked across her body and came away bloody. "Chidori!" Lightning sparked as he activated the killing technique.

"What the hell," Naruto muttered. She didn't get it. She just didn't get it. "Rasengan!"

Years before at the Valley of the End, their signature jutsus had collided and formed a dense, black sphere of chakra. Back then, the Uchiha was seeking power to defeat Itachi, just as he was fleeing from the perceived weakness of his bond with Naruto. Now, their jutsus met again, and the force of the resulting explosion rebounded on the shinobis and sent them flying.

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Naruto landed on her feet, wincing at the burns caused by the explosion. In some ways, it was so much like the first time that Sasuke had left Konoha. The same angry countenance, the unresponsiveness, the startling bursts of anger. In a flash, Naruto came to a realization. "What are you running from, Sasuke?!" she yelled at him across a newly formed crater.

Though something in Naruto's words struck true, Sasuke spat, "I'm not running away from anything."

"Liar! This all started after I became a girl. You're pissed off or - I don't know - _frightened_ of something!"

Then Sasuke laughed. It was a cold, mocking laugh - the kind he might have had when he was still bent on revenge. "_Frightened_? You think I'm _scared_ of you?"

"Not of me, bastard, but of _something_, yeah. You've been brooding since my birthday, and today, something snapped. What happened at the party?!"

"Nothing, except that I was _forced to endure_ your blatant and frankly disturbing descent into female frivolity!"

Naruto took a moment to process his words. "You're mad because I said I liked my long hair?"

"You flaunt it! It's disgusting!"

_Incomprehensible bastard_, cursed Naruto. She was angry before, but the Uchiha's insult sent her over the edge. With blurring speed, she attacked.

Sasuke was briefly taken aback by Naruto's sudden change in tempo. Where she had been uncharacteristically cautious, she now charged in deftly. Where her aim was slightly off, her blows now struck hard and true. Naruto had always excelled in taijutsu, but this was something more. This new Naruto was graceful and lithe. Anger made her act on instinct as she danced in and out of Sasuke's reach with mesmerizing agility.

The Sharingan followed her movements closely, giving Sasuke clear insight into her developing taijutsu form - and into the changes in her body. "You're so damn _happy_ all the damn time!" Naruto stumbled at his words. "You _like_ all the attention this is getting you!"

Then Sasuke landed a hit that sent Naruto to the ground.

Naruto chuckled darkly as she stood and wiped a trail of blood from her mouth. "I thought you of all people would understand, Sasuke. I'm doing the same thing that you did for your entire life. You didn't want anyone to have an inkling of your true feelings, so you remained aloof. You were tortured by Itachi's betrayal and the death of your family, but you didn't let it show. You hid behind a mask of disdain and indifference. Well, I've got my own mask, Sasuke, and I was wearing it tonight at the party." She spat blood.

"I can't help that I grew up with the nature seal. I can't help that it finally broke. It's not my fault! What do you want me to do? Recreate the seal?!"

Denial sprung to Sasuke's lips, but he forced it back with no small amount of confusion. Wasn't that what he wanted? For his shouting matches and spars with Naruto to go back to normal? For her idiot friends to treat her like a _him_ again? Especially that Hyuuga, and damn Sabaku. And the art freak could shove his inkwell up his -

"If that's what it takes, I'll do it!"

"Che," he sneered instead, "you would change yourself for someone else? How like a _girl_."

Anger sparked in Naruto's eyes. "Not for someone else. For _you_. We are a team. You and me. So if it's impossible for you to work with me like this, then, yeah, I'll recreate the seal. We'll go back to the way we were."

Sasuke couldn't deny even to himself the surge of emotion that shot through him at her words. _We_, she said. _You and me._

That unusual feeling. Like leaping in his stomach.

_Not for someone else. For you._

Was it...happiness?

Such simple words, yet they evoked a long-forgotten emotion. Not even Sasuke realized before the power that Naruto held over him. And he still didn't understand it. What possible reason was there that the smallest phrase could make his chest feel light. Just who was this Naruto that caused him to be so enraged and fucking _happy_ at the same time?!

Giving into his anger, Sasuke's control slipped. With a shout, he lunged forward and tackled Naruto, slamming a shoulder into her gut. Naruto was caught off-guard by Sasuke's reckless abandon. Her back landed solidly in the mud-caked earth. Without missing a beat, she planted her feet on Sasuke's torso and kick upwards, using the momentum to send Sasuke flying over her head. Sasuke flipped in the air, landed, and sprung back towards the waiting Naruto. His movements were jerky and blunt. He wasn't trying to wear Naruto down before delivering the finishing blow. He wasn't trying to strategically strike and cripple her movements. He was trying to land blow after blow, each more powerful than the last. And Naruto reciprocated.

It wasn't taijutsu. It wasn't even a spar anymore. It was an all-out brawl.

And in the midst of it, Sasuke's eyes locked the bruises and cuts and burns on Naruto's body. The wounds that he had caused. And he didn't like it.

"_Get out of my life!_" he yelled angrily. "STOP MAKING ME -!"

Naruto shut his mouth with a well-aimed punch.

Ordinarily, Sasuke would have rolled with her fist, minimizing the strength of the impact. But something froze him. Sasuke flew backwards and landed ungracefully in a splatter of mud. As he sat up slowly, his hand moved instinctively to his jaw, where a bone-deep pain emanated, but he didn't feel a thing. He was too busy contemplating the words that slipped unconsciously from his tongue.

_Stop making me care about you!_

Even back when they were enemies, Naruto had given him a goal. A goal and a promise. In those darkest moments, Naruto had shone like a light - intensely aggravating and persistent, like the morning sun peering through the curtains to awaken the one who rested in darkness. Sasuke still didn't understand his current rage, but he had the feeling he was finally on the right track.

Long ago, Naruto had called him brother, and he had finally accepted the inevitable, allowing the blonde closer than any other being. But Naruto was no longer his brother. She couldn't be _because she was a she. _So then what was she?! How could he classify her? How could he fit this new Naruto back into his world?

_Sister_ flitted through his mind, but he rejected the notion before it could even surface.

Friend?

Maybe. But Sasuke instinctively felt that _friend _wasn't quite right either.

Naruto stood above him, chest heaving and body shaking from exertion. That indomitable will, that unbreakable determination - they were focused on him. Solely on him. Her blue eyes blazed with unrepressed emotion, and Sasuke felt a visceral tug in his gut. A tug _towards Naruto_.

He was attracted to her.

The realization hit him like streak of lightning.

Attracted to her.

He was -

Hell no!

_Impossible_! he yelled at his deceiving mind, _completely impossible. This is_ Naruto, _the blonde-haired idiot. Usuratonkachi! There is no way in hell I'm attracted to her!_

But a devil in his mind whispered, _**Then why did you want to kiss her when came out of the shower?**_

Sasuke wasn't sure how to explain that, other than calling it a temporary glitch.

_**And when you were chasing her after the prank, why did you suddenly stop?**_

Sasuke was _not _a morning person. More like he tended to blow things up if he was roused before his alarm went off. He had finally managed to grab a few hours of sleep, and after growling ferociously at the loud noises outside that had awakened him, he had stumbled towards his bathroom for a hot shower. Opening his door, he heard an unusual clatter, and his sleep-fogged senses alerted him a moment too late.

A pail balanced haphazardly on top of the door overturned, drenching Sasuke in chakra-based ink, and his only cognizant thought was a memory of a little blonde-haired genin placing a dusty eraser over the door of a classroom to meet the head of their chronically late sensei.

Then he detected a chakra signature and, with a snarl of anger, leaped out his window only to meet hundreds of ink bombs arcing towards him. He could have blocked them all with his kunai with ease, but that would only cause them to erupt on him instead. So he dodged.

Naruto had transformed herself into one of the ink bombs, and she appeared behind him with a bucket of white paint. The damage was done.

He had chased her. Heedless of the sight he made running through Konoha, he had determined to exact his revenge. To throttle her for daring to disturb his rest. For _daring _to _prank him. _But as he closed in on Naruto, something happened.

He saw her eyes shining with merriment, her cheeks flushed with excitement from the thrill of the chase, and her lips quirked in a mischievous grin.

As though captured by the Nara's Kagemane no Jutsu, Uchiha Sasuke stopped in his tracks and stared at the sight. Because, in that moment, Sasuke thought Naruto beautiful.

Beautiful.

Naruto.

_But she's been a boy for eighteen years! How can I suddenly be attracted to someone I've always believed was a boy?_

_**Maybe this isn't as sudden as you think.**_

Sasuke's eyes widened. Unbidden, a memory flashed before Sasuke's eyes.

... ... ...

_{Flashback}_

"_Sage Mode," Naruto whispered. "It can't be, but - it - it's Sage Mode. It's Sage Mode! It's gotta be! Sasuke, I love you!" In jubilation, Naruto ignored the bewildered Uchiha and bit his thumb._

"_Kuchiyose no jutsu!" he yelled._

... ... ...

Naruto had disappeared, and Sasuke was left then, for a moment, he'd been floored by a strange feeling that swept over him. Cries of '_Sasuke, I love you!'_ had reverberated in his mind.

A little thrill had tingled through Sasuke's body.

_What does this mean?! _he demanded of less clueless part of his mind.

_**It means that Naruto, boy or girl, has always been special, but it's only now that you realize it. You were already starting to become aware before his birthday. Remember the 'joke' you played on him?**_

_... ... ..._

_{Flashback}_

_With the nimble skill of an S-class shinobi, Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the arm and whipped him sideways into an alley. Taking advantage of Naruto's surprise, he backed the blonde into a wall and leaned over him. "Who says," he whispered seductively, "I like girls at all?"_

_Blue eyes met his dark ones for a long moment._

"_Then you're gay?" came Naruto's nonplussed response._

_Huh?_ thought Sasuke dumbly. _It - it was supposed to be a joke. Naruto should have screamed and run away by now._

_Seconds ticked by as Naruto watched Sasuke calmly and Sasuke stared in mute shock, slightly paler than usual._

... ... ...

In present time, Sasuke yelled at his other self, _But it really was a joke! They're rare, but they do happen!_

**_But would _you, _the proud remnant of the Uchihas, behave so frivolously without a hidden motive?_**

The shock he'd felt at Naruto's response back then had been palpable, but mixed with it, so deep down that Sasuke hadn't recognized it, was a tendril of hope.

_I'm - I'm not gay, _he thought numbly. _Clearly, if I'm attracted to the female Naruto, then I'm not gay. _

_**Well, you're not attracted to other girls, now are you?**_

Well, no. At the moment he couldn't think of a single girl -

_**It's just Naruto. Boy or girl, it's just Naruto.**_

Somehow the whisper of his mind left him breathless.

"Hey, bastard! You still alive?" called a voice as if from a distance.

Years ago, he had run away from Konoha, partly to escape his bond with Naruto. Now, he was running away again, distancing himself from the one closest to him and the undeniable effect she had on him.

Naruto. Just Naruto. It had always been just Naruto.

"You better be - 'cause I'm not done yet!"

There were few people Sasuke had truly cared about throughout his life, and all but one of them was dead. The question now what was he would do about it.

"Oi! Bastard! Get the hell up!"

Sasuke started. He was sitting in a puddle of muddy water. The rain had turned into a mere drizzle, and Naruto was hunched over, not far from him, with her hands pressing down on her legs as she panted from exertion. Sasuke was no less exhausted.

"You hear me, Sasuke? I'm still going to beat your ass into the ground."

True to her words, Naruto pushed herself forward and stumbled towards Sasuke with her hand tightened into a fist. Only halfway standing, Sasuke instinctively raised his defenses, his body responding while his mind was embroiled in frantic thoughts. What was his next step? How should he respond to this monumental shift in his perspective?

He didn't know what to do.

Naruto slammed into Sasuke, using her weight to push them forward. Sasuke landed back on the ground with Naruto on top of him, pinning him solidly beneath her. The blonde grabbed his shirt, yanked him upwards, and slammed his torso back down. His head jerked as it hit the ground.

"Damn it, Sasuke," whispered Naruto, leaning over him as she held his arms at his sides. "The only reason I was able to tell everybody tonight is because _you_ told me not to worry, because _you _said that they wouldn't care in the end. I wanted you there tonight because I trust you, because I knew you'd have my back. And you did. When they kept asking questions that I didn't know the answer to and talking over me, you changed the subject. You turned it back to our rivalry and got Lee started."

Sasuke didn't remember it that way at all, but he let it slide.

"You stood up for me in your own bastard way, and you did it because you're my friend. Because _we_ _are friends._"

"I don't know how to be friends with a girl," he replied sullenly. _And I definitely don't know how to court one. Wait, court? That's what Mom called it. _Sasuke hadn't the foggiest notion how to win Naruto's affections. With any other girl he could simply look at her without glaring, and she would do the rest. He couldn't help but wonder how Naruto would react if he told her that he might have feelings for her.

Wait.

_Feelings?!_ Since when did he have _feelings?!_ It was just attraction! A natural occurrence between a male and a female, damnit! Boys like girls, and girls like -

Sasuke felt a sinking sensation in his stomach as he remembered the Inuzuka's question at dinner - _Weird. And does she still like girls or does she switch to _-? What if Naruto didn't even like men?

While Sasuke was figuring out the ramifications of his latest realization, Naruto was mulling over his words. "So you've been all angry because you thought you were losing your best pal? That's it? That's -" Naruto paused to contemplate. "That's kind of..._cute, _Sasu-chan," she said almost flirtatiously.

Dark eyes widened in surprise before Sasuke realized that Naruto was only joking.

"Puh-lease, Sasuke," said Naruto, rolling her eyes. "I'm not exactly a super feminine girl, you know? I'm not going to turn into one of your psycho fangirls. And yeah, I guess I'll change some, but I'm really the same person as ever. Look, we'll start this like we did when you first came back to Konoha. When you get all angsty, we'll spar, and I'll beat the crap outta you. Wha'da ya say?"

He still didn't know how to approach the matter of his feeli- the matter of his _attraction_, but he knew that he could trust in Naruto's bullheadedness to keep them together long enough for him to figure it out. Sasuke felt the tension drain from his body. "As if," he said, unable to hide a small smile.

Seeing the smile, stunted and fleeting as it was, Naruto slumped in relief. They didn't speak for several long moments as they basked in the post-spar catharsis, with the unspoken but mutual understanding that the fight was over. Sasuke was alternating between feeling a strange, new sort of excitement and a substantial amount of contentment that he finally understood the reason for his brooding and bouts of anger. Then Naruto shifted on top of him, and Sasuke's thoughts were yanked sharply back to the here and now.

Somehow, while they were talking, the firm hold Naruto had on Sasuke had slackened, and the two shinobis had unconsciously shifted to a more comfortable position.

A more _compromising_ position.

Naruto was straddling Sasuke. Her hands were pressed against him, fingers splayed across his chest, and her butt was situated just above the line of Sasuke's pants.

Oh my. Yes, he was indeed attracted to Naruto. The flush of unnatural heat coursing through his body told him that much.

"Oh, erm." Naruto scratched her sopping wet head, feeling suddenly uneasy. Sasuke's eyes were dark in a way she had never seen before. She pushed herself off of him and stood. "So, um, good. We're back to normal. Everything's normal. Completely normal. You're still a bastard, and I'm still -"

"- usuratonkachi."

"- Naruto." The blonde glared at Sasuke who was in the process of standing up, mud slipping down his body. She probably wasn't looking her best either, but she paid no mind and instead watched Sasuke. The pinched expression he had worn the last few days had eased. He looked almost relaxed. "Che, teme!" But Naruto was secretly grinning.

Truly, they communicated best through fighting.

... ... ...

_Oi, fuzzy! Gimme my chakra back. I'm dying here! _yelled Naruto to the demon fox in her mindscape a few moments later.

_**You still lack respect, shrimp.**_

_Oh, Your Awesomeness, King of the Bijuus, Lord of the Fuzzies! Please, oh please, return my chakra! _Naruto made an exaggerated show of prostrating herself before the Kyuubi.

Kurama snorted. _**Next time, stick to the first two addresses. **_Then his voice became softer. _**You did well in your fight, kit.**_

In her usual embarrassed gesture, Naruto's hand moved to the back of her head and scratched it while she wore a giant grin. _Heheh, yeah! Now I've just gotta beat Neji and Lee and Kakashi and...hmm, maybe Shikamaru, if I can convince him. Choji's pretty darn strong too. Then there's Kiba and Shino. Hmm, Sai and Kakashi can introduce me to the toughest guys in ANBU and -_

_**There will be no training grounds left in Konoha by the time you're finished.**_

_Heh, Sasuke and I did do a number on it, didn't we? Good thing we're pretty far from the village center._ Naruto's voice became thoughtful. _It's funny. I was convinced Sasuke was going to leave the village again. I thought he'd gotten sick and tired of it all, and he was just to use my little gender problem as a rotten excuse to hit the road. Turns out he was just feeling like he'd lost his best friend! And he was probably mad that the others accepted the switch so much more quickly. I'm gonna tease him like mad about that, dattebayo!_

Kurama didn't comment. He was less convinced that that was the only reason for the Uchiha's Pissy Princess mood. He'd seen the way the Uchiha looked at Naruto only minutes before, and unless he was very much mistaken, the damn brat would be looking at Naruto like that a whole lot more often from now on. Which left Kurama with the question of how best to scare him off.

Then Kurama's muzzle widened in a full-on, toothy grin. Oh yes. He would use every bit of his resentment towards the Uchiha clan to make the Sharingan brat's love life a misery. Whoever said revenge wasn't satisfying?

_Oi! Did you forget something? My chakra!_

The Kyuubi grunted disinterestedly, his mind already occupied by more important matters, and released his hold.

Like water soaking into dry land, Naruto's chakra returned to her. More than half of her usual reserves had been cut off during her fight with Sasuke. She pulled out of her mindscape. "Man, that sucked! We only fought for like half an hour, and I was totally out of chakra!"

Sasuke grunted. "At least yours wasn't sucked out by a lucky idiot." His words sounded unforgiving, but they lacked bite. He was trying his best to slip back into the normal insulting banter that Naruto would expect of him. He couldn't let her have an inkling of his thoughts. Not yet.

"Awww, having a pity party, are we? Sa-su-ke-kun?"

The Uchiha wrinkled his nose in distaste. Naruto had sworn she wouldn't turn into a fangirl, but she was taking it a step further. She was openly _mocking_ the fangirls by imitating them. The worst part of all - and the reason that Sasuke was careful to act disgusted - was that he wouldn't actually mind if she started adding the "-_kun_" to his name. With Naruto, it was somehow...endearing.

"Hn. Hardly, baka -" He cut off abruptly as a familiar feeling swept through him. His body suddenly felt less exhausted, more powerful. Sasuke looked at his hand as though he could see the chakra coils in it. "My chakra's back. So quickly," he said in confusion.

Naruto grinned. "It was a repression seal. I didn't suck out your chakra, I just locked it away for a while."

"So if the battle had lasted longer -"

"Yeah, it still would have come back, and I'd have been toast. Good thing you suck at recognizing seals."

"Hn," he grunted noncommittally. "So...you going back to the party?" he asked casually.

"I'm a filthy mess," she said, looking down at her ragged clothes and laughing. Sasuke was careful to take a long look at her messy form, as well. "If I go back, they'll know that I ditched them, and Sakura'll probably kill me."

Despite himself, Sasuke's stomach gave a little lurch. Naruto had ditched her idiot friends to chase him down. Was he a fool for being happy about that? Probably. More importantly, she was free now, and her pesky friends wouldn't be around to bother them. Naruto was his for the evening if he didn't screw this up.

An odd hammering, which felt suspiciously like it came from his chest region, made Sasuke swear at himself with a vengeance. His body was behaving ridiculously, betraying his Uchiha composure. It was being irrational, and Sasuke was, first and foremost, a rational man. Naruto was passionate, and he was rational. That was just the way it was - or should have been. Thoughts of a passionate Naruto weren't exactly helping the problem.

Damn.

Sasuke took a quick moment to order his body to behave, but he may as well have told it to wear green spandex for all the good it did him. His heart rate increased. Sasuke cleared his throat. "Want to grab some ramen?" he asked the blonde with feigned calm. "My treat."

Normally, Naruto's blue eyes would light with excitement as she threatened to deplete Sasuke's wallet. Normally, Naruto would run ahead and shout back at Sasuke to hurry his pale ass up. What happened was the exact opposite. Her face fell, and her eyes dimmed. She mumbled something under her breath and shuffled her feet anxiously.

_Shit. I forgot about the Ichiraku's daughter._

Then she looked up at him, and there was a painful tightness to her smile. "Nah, not this time."

_Now I feel like an ass,_ thought Sasuke dourly.

"I'm going to Mount Myoboku," she said instead, raising her hand to bite her thumb.

"What for?" he asked quickly. _Think up an excuse to keep her here! _yelled inner Sasuke.

"I've been working on something, but if I get it right and he appears in Konoha, everyone will panic. _Kuchioyse no Jutsu!"_

"You interrupted my mud bath!" yelled Gamakichi through a cloud of smoke.

"Hardly," said Naruto, gesturing to the muddy training field. "Let's get going."

"What are you -?"

Poof!

Sasuke stared at the spot where Naruto had disappeared, glaring at it as though it would be able to return her to him if he looked scary enough. But on second thought, maybe her leaving was for the best. He needed time to think. Time to figure out just what the revelation of his feelings meant.

_Not feelings, damnit! Attraction! Simple acknowledgement that she is physically appealing!_

That devilish voice inside his mind mocked him, and Sasuke realized he was fighting a losing battle. Groaning somewhat miserably to himself, Sasuke turned towards home and a hot shower, determined to put Naruto from his mind until he was ready. But though he tried to shove it away, the memory of Naruto resting on top of him, of the weight of her body pressing down on him, surged to the forefront of his thoughts.

Right. A cold shower it would be.

He had barely walked five steps towards Konoha when, without warning, three ANBU appeared around him.

Sasuke started, having been too ensnared in his thoughts to sense the ANBU. Cursing his negligence, he took in their aggressive postures, the way they surrounded him, the way they tensed when he shifted on his feet. It could only mean one thing. "You waited until Naruto was gone, didn't you? Cowards."

"Uchiha Sasuke," said the Rabbit-masked ANBU, "you are under arrest for treason against Konoha."

* * *

**Heheh, shit got real. Hope you enjoyed the touch of SasuNaru in this chapter! Originally, I imagined Sasuke staying in denial a little longer, but I think he turned out, as Naruto jokingly said, "kinda cute." What do you think?**


	10. The Empty Tomb

**I'm back! My apologies for the unexpected hiatus. **

**Quick reminder that I began writing this after reading chapter 609. So, many things that have happened recently in the manga are not necessarily true for this fic, i.e. certain deaths, death reaper seals specifics, and all that. At the same time, I may make references to certain things we learn in more recent chapters. Please excuse this teeny tiny incongruity. It's fanfiction.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

The Empty Tomb

Hatake Kakashi loved his village. He loved how the first rays of sun struck the Hokage mountain each morning. He loved the fragrance of the forest that graced the crisp air. He loved that Konoha was the birthplace of _Icha Icha_.

There was no doubt he loved his village, but there were certain people _in _the village that he could do without. Most of them were unfortunately within a ten meter radius of himself at the moment.

And everyone of them trained their eyes on the last Uchiha.

Sasuke stood at the foot of a long table under the scrutiny of the Konoha Council. He was filthy and injured, his wrists lashed together behind him by chakra-controlling manacles. Two guards, one of them Kakashi, stood on either side of the prisoner.

Senju Tsunade surveyed the disheveled Uchiha then looked past him to Dog. "Did you encounter resistance?" she demanded.

"No, Hokage-sama. We arrested Uchiha Sasuke after his spar with Uzumaki-san concluded."

"Where is Naruto?"

"With the toads," said Dog.

Tsunade allowed herself a moment of relief. Arresting the Uchiha was necessary. Doing so in front of Naruto would have been disastrous. She turned her attention back to the prisoner and said gravely, "Uchiha Sasuke, you have been arrested under the suspicion of treason. According to Article XXII.I of the Founding Charter, the Konoha Council has adjourned to determine your rights as a conditional citizen."

The Uchiha had not even blinked since his arrest. He remained detached. Unconcerned about his fate. Unrepentant of his actions. Still and cold, he could have been carved from marble.

When the Uchiha spoke, Kakashi was almost surprised.

"What are the charges against me?"

Councilwoman Koharu interjected, "Breaking and entering, thievery, conspiring with an enemy."

"Against our better judgement, we granted you clemency," said Homura Mitokado. "You have ill-repaid us, Uchiha Sasuke."

"Councilman Homura," barked Tsunade, "must I remind you that a consensus has not been reached." She didn't wait for an answer but glanced at her jounin commander. "Shikaku, please review the latest evidence."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. At 19:00 hours, a team of trackers encountered the chakra signature of the intruder. They traced it back to the home of Uchiha Sasuke. His apartment, not the Uchiha complex."

Several council members turned to give Sasuke an icy glare.

"The trail ended there. His apartment was searched, but we found no condemning evidence. However, at 19:30 hours a second team discovered the intruder's purpose in Konoha. The Hovel has been ransacked."

A collective gasp sounded from the Council. A momentary widening of the eyes was Sasuke's only response.

"Among the items taken were Uchiha scrolls from the time of Madara - scrolls rescued by the First Hokage, which detailed the acquisition of Rinnegan."

Eyes that had condemned Sasuke, now burned into him.

"Among the items pilfered were the Fourth's three-pronged kunai and a supply of chakra limiters."

Eyes darted to the manacles around Sasuke's wrists.

"Furthermore," said Shikaku, "the intruder made away with the single scroll in existence that explained the theory and method of the Shiki Fujin."

The Council was ready to throw Sasuke into the darkest dungeon in Konoha.

"Uchiha Sasuke," demanded Homura, "are you able to account for your absence during the intrusion?"

Kakashi knew the old Sasuke would sooner rip his tongue out than answer to the Konoha Council. His pride would not allow him to descend to their level, giving them true authority over him. Defending himself meant he cared what they thought. But unless Kakashi was very mistaken, Sasuke had had something of an epiphany during his spar with Naruto.

What he did now would confirm or deny Kakashi's sneaking suspicion. If Sasuke remained silent, he would uphold the pride of his ancestors. If he answered, he would accept that someone was more important to him than -

"Absence?" said Sasuke. "I was in the market. A number of civilians can attest to that." His voice was hard, cut from stone. But he had answered.

Kakashi felt some of the tension drain from his shoulders. Sasuke would cooperate. The Uchiha had even willingly referred to his ink-drenched, post-prank status. Despite the tense situation, Kakashi had to stifle a laugh. For the first time, Sasuke cared about his status in the village. And he cared solely because of Naruto.

"We have a witness who confirms that you disappeared moments after the intruder infiltrated our barriers. Such a coincidence is too great to dismiss."

Sasuke raised a brow. "This _witness_ could have seen nothing more than me leaving the market. After which, I returned home to bathe. Your _witness_ is unfit to make a judgement regarding my behavior."

"The _witness_, as you said," repeated Tsunade, using Sasuke's scathing tone, "was none other than Uzumaki Naruto."

Sasuke stilled.

"Would Naruto be an unfit witness?"

Kakashi knew why Tsunade did it - why she invoked Naruto's name. Tsunade understood more than anyone what the bond between Naruto and Sasuke could do. Naruto would never accept Sasuke's imprisonment. Naruto would never submit to the Council's judgement if she believed that Sasuke was innocent. In their bond was a danger. Naruto would never severe it, but if Tsunade could convince Sasuke that Naruto had betrayed him, had chosen the Council over him…

Kakashi shifted ever so slightly to view in Sasuke's face what he was sure would be a flash of anger or contrived indifference.

Sasuke, of all things, smirked.

"Yes," he said in some Uchiha version of amusement, "she has been…peeved at me these last few days. I imagine she was more than willing to share any tales of my, as she would say, 'bastard behavior.' Particularly when she was speaking to _trusted_ confidants such as yourselves."

The Hokage's nostrils flared.

Kakashi was grateful that his mask hid his grin.

"Tread carefully, Uchiha," scolded Koharu. "Your place in Konoha is unstable as it is."

By implying that it wasn't Naruto who'd betrayed Sasuke but Tsunade who betrayed Naruto, the Uchiha established himself as innocent of the whole affair. More importantly, he implied that Naruto would chose Sasuke over Konoha, should they force her hand.

The council members had broken out in whispers and even mutters of treason. They recognized the challenge that Sasuke had issued.

"You're not helping your case, Sasuke," whispered Kakashi in his ear. "And you are putting Naruto on a slippery slope."

Sasuke tensed for a moment before burying his emotions under that hardened mask. Any triumph he felt in winning the verbal spar was short-lived. These were the people who determined the next Hokage, and they would not easily support a shinobi with close ties to a traitor.

Tsunade cleared her throat, and the commotion died down. She held in her hands the scroll that, once signed, would condemn Sasuke to mental interrogation. "In summary, the evidence against Uchiha Sasuke is as follows: Firstly, the intruder left through a passage on the grounds of the former Uchiha complex - a passage which Uchiha Sasuke neglected to mention to proper authorities. Secondly, the Allied Shinobi Forces took Uchiha Sasuke's word that he destroyed the Rinnegan in the aftermath of the war, which we now know to be false. Thirdly, many of the items missing from the Hovel can be linked directly to his heritage - a heritage that we all know him to revere. Fourthly, the intruder's chakra signature was located in Uchiha Sasuke's apartment. Finally -" Tsunade paused to look at Sasuke, "your previous association with Orochimaru alone is sufficient to incur mental interrogation. Do you have any words of defense?"

This time, Sasuke remained silent.

"Council members, we granted Uchiha Sasuke conditional citizenship upon his return to Konoha. A three quarters majority vote is required to sentence him to mental interrogation. All those in favor -"

A chorus of "Ayes" sounded from the council. There was not a single "Nay."

Tsunade turned to Sasuke. Genuine sorrow was reflected in her eyes. "The evidence is circumstantial, but the motive is there. I'm sorry, Sasuke." She turned Rabbit and Dog. "Please escort Uchiha Sasuke to T&I where he is to be interrogated by Yamanaka Inoichi. Should the suspect resist, forcible action may be taken."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

"One thing."

Every shinobi in the room tensed when Sasuke spoke.

"Wait until this is over before you tell Naruto. She'll be furious."

Tsunade tightened her lips and nodded.

... ... ...

"Fox," Tsunade said when the room had emptied, "I want your honest opinion. Between Konoha and Sasuke, which would Naruto choose?"

"Naruto's loyalty to Konoha cannot be questioned," Sai responded with a rare show of anger.

"Of course not. But if Sasuke has indeed betrayed Konoha for the second time, I will have no choice but to have him executed. How will Naruto respond? Will she be able to accept what must be done?"

"Naruto puts Konoha above all else," said Sai after a long pause, "but there was a time when she forsook her duty to her village."

"When was that?"

"In the battle with Sasuke. She could have dodged that Chidori. I know it. But she had sworn to shoulder the burden of his hatred, so she chose to die in the hopes that his revenge would be appeased. So that he could live again."

"You know this to be true?"

"Naruto as much as admitted it to me."

"_Damn_," whispered Tsunade.

... ... ...

A half hour later, Sasuke was in a containment chair in the T&I Department. A medic stood to the side, poised to inject him with anesthesia. Asleep, Sasuke would be less able to defend his mind against the invasion.

"Yamanaka," said Sasuke to the man standing above him, "you are aware that this interrogation is against my will?"

Inoichi looked at him steadily. "You are aware that committing treason leaves you with precious few rights in this village?"

Sasuke inclined his head. "I understand the reasons for my arrest."

"But?" prodded Inoichi.

"But my mind is my last sanctuary. You will attempt to walk through my memories, my thoughts, and my secrets. In short, you will trample on everything I hold sacred."

Understanding - and even some pity - entered Inoichi's eyes. "I do not do this lightly, Sasuke. Any secrets of yours that I learn, as long as they do not endanger Konoha, I will never repeat."

Sasuke nodded. "I will allow you into my mind. Once there, it's up to you to navigate it."

The medic stuck the needle into Sasuke's neck and pressed down on the syringe.

"Don't blame me if you don't like what you find there, Yamanaka."

Inoichi put his hand on Sasuke's forehead.

As Sasuke's eyes drooped, he muttered, "Try to stay sane."

... ... ...

Naruto awakened on a giant leaf. Her head ached. Sitting up, she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Damn, this seal is tough."

**_You've got other things to worry about right now, gaki. _**

_That's just it. I'm desperate to get my mind off all this other crap. Besides, _she gave the fox a knowing look_, you're actually really excited about this, aren't you? And you're just a bit afraid that it won't work?_

**_It would be my first real freedom in over a century, though it's not so bad when you let me take complete control of your -_**

_No way. Not anymore. The Naras would kill me! You completely wrecked half their forest last time!_

**_Those deer were pestering me._**

_'Cause they're the guardians or whatever of the forest and you were wrecking it! Even Shikamaru was pissed off! He didn't believe me for the longest time when I told him I was asleep through all of it._

**_I stopped short at devouring their little pets._**

Naruto paused. _You're just a giant mass of chakra. Why would you eat them?_

**_I was in a physical body - your transformed body - so I had an appetite._**

_I'm afraid to ask, but did you -?_

**_I ate some rabbits. Their meat was tough, but they were deliciously bloody._**

Naruto was quiet for a long moment before she slapped a hand over her mouth. _I think I'm gonna be sick._

... ... ...

You should figure out a way to reverse summon yourself, Naruto," Gamakichi grumbled, back in Konoha. The sleepy toad blinked in the morning light.

Naruto tapped her head in thought. "You know, that might not be such a bad idea! I'll get started on it after I'm done with my current project."

"What _is_ your current project? Pops is getting suspicious." By the tone of his voice, Gamakichi was more than a little perturbed, as well.

"Nothing, nothing. You don't have a thing to worry about!" Naruto put her hands together in a seal, grinning broadly. "Foxes don't eat toads."

Naruto was just able to see Gamakichi's jaw drop before she sent the toad back to Mount Myoboku. Stomach growling, Naruto turned towards her apartment. She sent a half sorrowful, half longing look down the street where Ichirakus was serving piping hot bowls of ramen.

_Soon_, she promised herself. _And if they hate me, well -_ She gulped. _Please don't let them hate me._

An hour later, Naruto was banging on the door of Uchiha Sasuke's apartment. When there was no answer - even after shouts of "Teme, no baka!" - Naruto studied the mangled doorknob. She was a little surprised he hadn't fixed it himself last night. The Uchiha loved his privacy. And while a locked door could never keep a shinobi out, it could seriously hamper the lovemaking efforts of the civilian female population.

He must be planning to use his passive aggressive bullshit to guilt her into fixing the damn door. Whatever. It was worth it.

Naruto gave up on knocking and pushed open the door. Weird. The Uchiha's room was messier than usual. Not much, but his things were shifted, ever so slightly out of place. Naruto wondered if some civilian's _had_ broken in, but no, his room would have been ransacked. His clothes would all be missing.

Whatever the case, Sasuke was not in his apartment.

Bored and a bit confused, Naruto wandered to the Hokage's office. Maybe Tsunade obaa-san would give in and give her a mission. Naruto's body was suffering no ill effects from her transformation, and her test results had come back normal. There were no excuses for coddling her now.

The office was empty. Naruto stood in the doorway, scratching her head. Weird.

… … …

Wandering idly around Konoha, Naruto saw a familiar redhead in the distance.

"Gaara!"

The Kazekage turned and waited for Naruto to catch up. "Naruto." Gaara's greeting was simple enough, but his green eyes warmed at her approach.

"Hey, last night was crazy fun, eh?"

Gaara half smiled. "Your antics were excessive, but yes, the night was enjoyable."

"Excessive? Wha—" A sudden image of her dancing on the table flashed before her mind. Damn clone. "Ah, well, your brother dared me. Said I couldn't dance like a girl."

"You shouldn't let Kankuro rile you up."

"Guess you're right. So what are you doing here? Where's Temari and Kankuro?"

"Temari is with Shikamaru - at least, she ran off this morning and I assume that was where she was going. Kankuro was going to look for Yamanaka-san."

"Ino? What for?"

"She is, in his words, 'hotter than anything in the desert.'"

Naruto laughed. "He'll have some competition."

Gaara raised a nonexistent brow. "You are referring to Sai?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Last night he painted some rats that chewed through Kankuro's pants."

Naruto got a good laugh out of that. "So, how long will you get to stay?"

Gaara frowned. "I was supposed to leave today—"

"But you just got in!"

"—however, your Hokage asked to postpone our meeting."

Naruto echoed Gaara's frown. "Huh. Weird. Seriously, this whole day is so weird. Everything just feels…kinda off, you know." Naruto thought she saw a funny look cross Gaara's face. "What? You know something?"

Gaara's mouth curved. "Well, I am the leader of a rival shinobi village. It's my job to know things."

Naruto laughed, completely unconcerned that Gaara had been snooping, and waited.

"There was a break-in and thievery. Some sort of Hokage stronghold?"

"Shit."

"You know the place."

"Yeah," Naruto answered event though it wasn't a question. "But I don't know where it is. Hm, obaa-chan didn't send for me, so it's not really my business." She scratched her nose. "Then again, I am the future Hokage. Everything's my business!"

Naruto stilled. Natural energy filled her body. Her eyelids turned orange. Moment later, Naruto frowned again.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, really. Just weird. Sasuke's at the hospital. With Sakura? Hah! Bet the bastard needed a medic our fight."

"What fight?"

"Never mind," she said quickly. She closed her eyes again. "Anyways, Tsunade, Tsunade, where are you? Ah-ha."

Naruto opened her eyes. She looked at Gaara. "Well, gotta scram. Spar later?"

Gaara nodded, and Naruto was off.

… … …

"Uzumaki-san, you are not authorized to be here."

Naruto had arrived at the entrance to the Hovel. Buried in the base of the Hokage mountain, it was well-concealed. She would never have been able to find it without Sage Mode. Now there was a second obstacle. Two ANBU were blocking her way. "Er, hey, guys. Thought I felt some funny chakra over here, and I just wanted to check—"

"Everything is under control, Uzumaki-san. Your presence will not be necessary."

"Um, right." Naruto's curiosity was peaked. She'd wanted to see the Hovel since Tsunade had first mentioned it. If she used force, Naruto could slip around the ANBU with little difficulty, but that would be a tiny bit illegal. Time for smooth talking. "So, obaa—ahem, Hokage-sama told me there was a crazy ass seal here. I thought I could help out."

"A team is already working on it."

"Yeah, but as a sealmaster in training, I—"

"We will be forced to escort you from—"

"What's going on out here?! Your voices echo down the tunnel! We need silence." Tsunade voice was an angry bark. Far louder than any of their voices.

"Hokage-sama, Uzumaki-san, has requested entrance into the Hovel."

"I heard there was a break-in," said Naruto by way of explanation.

Tsunade stopped and stared at Naruto for a long moment, as though she were studying the blonde. Weird, thought Naruto for the thousandth time that day.

"Obaa-chan, what's going on? Is it the intruder?"

Tsunade's pinched expression relaxed. Was that relief in her eyes? She waved away the ANBU guard. "Come, Naruto. Maybe you will be able to help us."

Naruto resisted the urge to stick out her tongue at the ANBU and followed the Hokage down a dark tunnel. The tunnel abruptly widened into a cavern. At the mouth of the cavern, she stopped. And stared.

Before her was the most elaborate sealwork she had ever seen, more intricate than she had ever imagined. It was a labyrinth of seals. Covering the ceilings, the floor, and the wall, they glowed in the torchlight.

"Hideki, Kakashi." called Tsunade. A short, brown-haired man popped his head up from a group of huddled shinobis. Naruto remembered that Hideki was Konoha's resident seal specialist. The man walked over to Tsunade and Naruto, along with Kakashi who wore an unusually perplexed expression. "How goes the analysis?"

"It will take time, Hokage-sama. We have affirmed that the seal has not been tampered with. It is fully functional. Perfectly active." Hideki eyeballed Naruto, giving her a once over as if wondering what she was doing there. "Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but it is ill-advised to have—"

"Naruto has shown some talent with sealwork. She broke one of the Fourth's seals in a matter of minutes."

Kakashi added, "A seal that I spent hours trying to crack."

Hideki still looked skeptical. "I was quite certain that Naruto was a boy."

"As were we all, before her eighteenth birthday."

Hideki hid his surprise. "Be that as it may—"

"She is of the Uzumaki clan."

That silenced Hideki. The Uzumaki clan had written almost every scroll on seals. They were the masters, the ones that every seal specialist aspired to be.

Tsunade said to Naruto, "Only I am able to pass through unhindered. Somehow the intruder managed to get inside, and he did so without activating the alarm. We need to get a team inside to sweep for clues."

"You don't have some sort of super secret Hokage code?"

"A code could be stolen. No, the seal was designed so that only the Hokage could enter. Should the Hokage die, the secrets of the Hovel would remain a mystery. Even to Konoha."

"Until an intruder managed to break through the seals."

Tsunade's brow twitched.

Hideki said, "It is possible that a secondary key exists. We are searching for a gateway, perhaps a Daichi path, even Hoshi."

"Similar to stepping stones in a river, letting us get to the other side," said Kakashi. But for once, Naruto didn't need the dumbed down explanation. She walked closer to the seals, studying them intently.

"Careful, Uzumaki," said Hideki. "If you penetrate the barrier, you'll kill us all."

Naruto barely heard him. She was transfixed. Her eyes took in the network of seals. Symbols, familiar and strange, burned into her eyes. "Kami-sama," she breathed finally, "it would take me ages to get through this thing."

Hideki gave Naruto a sideways glance. It should be impossible for her to get through it at all.

"I see the Nori Dragon." Naruto traced her finger through the air, outlining the complex seal. "But you can never start with the Dragon. We need fire first. Ah, there it is." She pointed to a seal near her feet. "Can't be the pathway, though. Not unless, the Prophet of Tato there—"

Tsunade and Hideki's eyes were wide. Naruto was spotting seals like they were clouds in the sky. Several shinobis had stopped their work to listen.

"—no, doesn't make sense. No Hokage would let the Dragon be the gateway. Even my insane oto-san. No, what we need is a symbol of the forest. Or the river. Yeah. There's the Scythe. That's not it. Where, where, where? If fire's here, then water's…right there. Okay, water meets earth. Good sign. Now where's the gateway? Hoshi? Makes sense it would be on the ceiling."

Hideki's voice was astonished. "H-Hokage-sama, how? How can she—?"

"Her Uzumaki blood is revealing itself. Naruto has been studying seals continuously for months. Using several clones at that. She is on her way to being a master."

Naruto was still muttering to herself. "Damn complicated seal. Can't even find the starting point." Naruto moved to examine the seals on the walls. "River flows in four directions. Crazy. Doesn't bother to end—huh?" Naruto stilled. "What the hell?" she whispered.

"Naruto?" said Kakashi.

"Four rivers. Four whirlpools. Four, when there only need to be two." The blonde was quivering. "The accomplice. Of course."

"Naruto," asked Tsunade, alarmed, "what's wrong?"

"Everything." She turned to them. Naruto's blue eyes were bleak and furious all at once. "Everything's wrong."

Naruto disappeared from the Hovel in a yellow flash.

… … …

She was in a small cemetery on the far side of Hokage mountain. There were fewer than thirty tombs. They all faced in the direction of their resident's homeland. The Whirlpool Country.

Naruto stood at the foot of one of the graves.

Kakashi, having followed her from the Hovel, stepped forward. "Naruto, what did you find?" Naruto seemed unable to answer. Kakashi looked at the tomb. It seemed unperturbed, in perfect condition.

"Obaa-chan said the Yondaime perfected the seals guarding the Hovel. That wasn't quite right." Naruto kicked up her foot and placed it on the side of the white tomb. Before Kakashi could move, she gave a mighty heave and pushed the slap of marble off. It landed heavily in the earth.

The tomb was empty.

Naruto's blue eyes were alive with anger.

"My father didn't touch those seals. It was my mother. Orochimaru has my mother."


End file.
